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Author
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Topic: Am I being oppresed? Am I cursed? Premonitions?
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Sha'ul
Advanced Member
Member # 8294
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posted
First of all I'm truly sorry about what you've been through. Hopefully what is written here comes from God and will give you some peace and direction. To start off, there are such things like premonitions. Often when I've gotten something like that I knew God was telling me to pray about it, He'll do that so our prayer can change the out come. Then there's times like a month ago my sister died in a car accident. 3 wks prior I had a dream that she would die in an accident. It scared me bad and I prayed first for her to be safe than in the middle of the prayer it changed to, make sure her soul is saved. Well it was. And I know that she is with God with no doubts. The Bible does tell us that there is life and death in the tongue. If we actually claim something enough over ourself or others it can come true. The same with our minds, Jesus said that we must renew our mind daily. That's where the Armor of God comes in, putting on the helmet of salvation. Every thought and feeling we have has to be made captive in Messiah. When these things come on us, first control the thought or feeling, then go to God and seek direction on how to deal with it. Your boyfriend from what you've said was your own doing(and I mean that gently) because you kept pushing him to the other girl with what you said. Ultimately the devil rules the airs of this world and our minds are his play ground to steal, kill and destroy. I do hope that you return to God for He is the only one who can truly deliver you and give you the answers that you seek. He promises He'll never leave us nor forsake us. May God give you peace in all this, and may you find rest in His word. Read Jeremiah 29:11-13 Hope this helped some. Shalom
Posts: 32 | Registered: Sep 2010
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becauseHElives
Advanced Member
Member # 87
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posted
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.<< 1 John 4:18 >>
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Strive to enter in at the strait gate:for many, I say unto you will seek to enter in, and shall not be able. ( Luke 13:24 )
Posts: 4578 | From: Southeast Texas | Registered: Jun 2002
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CImb
First Post
Member # 8274
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posted
I have been struggling since the age of 13 (over 20 years now) with having fears or premonitions come to pass. When I was 13 I feared or "felt" that if I knocked a calendar off the wall onto the floor (it had a picture of my mom and her boyfriend imprinted on it)something "bad" would happen to both or one of them. Well one morning I was in a hurry for school and I knocked it off the wall. Well, after school I got home and my mom told me her boyfriend was sick in the hospital. Turns out that morning as he was driving to work, a drunk driver hit his car and he was severely brain damaged from then on until his death 7 years later. My mom tried to reassure me the accident happened an hour or two before I even knocked it off the wall. Well it haunted me from then on, it was an eery coincidence, no?
Then at age 25 I decided to follow the Lord but for the next year or so felt that something tragic was to happen to my mother and that my life would be stripped bare. I especially felt that if I trusted the Lord with my life and loved ones that this would happen. I still continued to move forward in life and ignore these feelings but they would not abate and then in 2000 I felt things would be OK. Well a few months later I was on my break at my job at the mall, looking at all the pretty dresses on display and imagining my mother wearing one and looking nice and a horrid voice intruded my thoughts and in my mind’s eye the scene changed to an enraged voice "up there" saying- "Who are you to feel good about yourself??! THIS is what's going to happen to you!" And boom, I see my mother in bed, emaciated, ill and confused with me beside her taking care of her and weeping. This vision made me cry right there in the store. I was shaken up. I still continued to move forward n life and hope for the best and pray. One day when I was walking to the bus station I saw a bird in the sky. My Christian friend had always said God used birds to encourage her when she was down. I decided I would try to be positive (I had always been scared of the Lord and felt He was a punisher and now I was trying to change my view of Him) so while trying to be encouraged by this bird in flight my eyes then like a magnet fell upon something on the ground. To my horror it was a dead, smashed baby bird on the ground! Here I was trying to be hopeful for my life and future by looking at a soaring bird and then my eyes fall on death. Then as the year progressed, my mother started feeling sick and by December of 2000 she died, my dog of 16 years had to be put down a month or so later and I left my home. Indeed my life had been STRIPPED as I had felt it would.
I’ve spent since 2001 to rebuild my life, I had struggled since her death to believe God wanted good things for me. I felt like He hated me and my family because not only of the losses but also because of those premonitions coming to pass. I felt He wanted me to be alone and not have a family and that bad things were to continue to happen to me. I struggled against these beliefs but it was a constant battle. In 2004 I decided to start dating my best male friend who came into my life after my mom died. He’s a wonderful man and treated me so well but I started having horrible, gnawing feelings my life would be stripped AGAIN and I would be alone. That bad things were coming for me. I also had an “irrational” fear about our church pastor’s daughter, that my BF was better off with her because she came from a good family and was the opposite of me. I felt horrible about myself, especially because of all the tragedy and loss like I was cursed or something. I didn’t want what happened to my mom’s boyfriend or her father (he was also killed in a car crash) to happen to my loving boyfriend. I would often ask my boyfriend if he liked her or if he felt he should be with her instead. He thought I was being ridiculous. He reassured me he loved ME. I would even get paranoid thoughts like her family was disappointed he was with me and hoped my BF for one of their daughters instead (they have two daughters). I would even get a voice in my head that said if I don’t break up with him God would kill me!
Well in 2005, a choking phobia I had briefly when I was 11 came back after a 20 year absence. I had been struggling with anger and bitterness for years and even at times felt so overwhelmed by the feelings of my life being stripped again I would tell my friends I just KNEW something was gonna happen. My feelings had been correct many times before, it’s like I knew it. Well little did I know that the choking phobia would be the main catalyst for my life to be stripped AGAIN. This time so much worse than before because this phobia took me over and I could barely function. I’m not saying I was perfect, I made some bad choices and have an anger issue and that hurt my relationship with my BF to a point but this choking phobia completely isolated me, took my career away and ended my relationship with my BF. To make matters worse, I couldn’t even swallow my saliva in public w/out panic so I stopped going places including church.
Guess what happened? The OTHER daughter of the old pastor (they stopped going to church there after another pastor came on) and my ex-BF have become friends and there may be feelings there since she returned to church suddenly!! Just as I had feared that God wanted him to be with someone in that family!! I am completely devastated; did God do this all to me? Did the devil? Did I? Why do I have these horrible feelings and why do they come to pass?? And why is the theme the same –loss, tragedy, being alone, losing loved ones, seeing others prosper and the blessings I have disappear. I am still close to my ex. I’m begging him for a 2nd chance once I recover from this anxiety disorder. He says there may be a chance, he can’t guarantee it. I told him he once was proof that God did not want me to be alone. Now I tell him he is helping one of my worst fears come to pass. How can that be?? I have since practically renounced God and am on my own, which is a horrible feeling. It was because of this phobia I stopped going to church and my relationship ended and I am in ruins. If the devil is responsible then how could my ex and this girl profit from my tragedy by getting to know each other? Wouldn’t he come in and ruin everyone? Not that I want their lives ruined but I most certainly didn’t want mine to be either. And I’m the only one suffering due to this. My ex is suffering watching me go through this but it is nearly taking me out of my life. I cannot go through my life being stripped again, I CAN'T. I want the relationships and life I had to be restored and I want these horrible premonitions and losses to cease forever. And I want peace with my God. Any suggestions as to what could be behind ALL these things in my life. I have left out many details as I have no room to write everything down. Please any direction or counsel?
Posts: 1 | Registered: Aug 2010
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