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Author
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Topic: Please pray for me
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Bat Elohim
Advanced Member
Member # 3739
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posted
Yahsway,
I am so glad that there is reconciliation for the time being. There will be hurt for a while yet. But you sound so loving and kind. I'm sure it will all work out to God's glory!
You have a right to be happy about your sons (and daughter-in-law) following the Word of God. That is a wonderful testimony in this day.
I will pray for your husband's healing as well as continue to pray for your daughter.
May Yah bless you abundantly!
Bat Elohim.
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Numbers 6:24 May ADONAI bless you and keep you. 25 May ADONAI make his face shine on you and show you his favor. 26 May ADONAI lift up his face toward you and give you peace.
Posts: 704 | From: Louisiana | Registered: Aug 2004
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yahsway
Advanced Member
Member # 3738
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posted
Thank You Bat Elohim for asking. Also, thanks to all of you for your prayers. Well, this is funny you should ask, she called me yesterday and asked if she could come and talk with me and her dad. So of course I said yes. She did apologize, and asked us to give her another chance. Well we did lay down some guide lines and rules that we must all abide by in the house as we want this house to have peace and be a refuge fromm the daily beatings of the world if you know what i mean.
We did cry, hug, and I am still prayerful about this. Time will only tell, but for now at least there is some reconciliation.
My son and his new wife were over yesterday to b ring me a video of their wedding. I guess I have bragging rights here as they are both believers and very much into His word. I couldnt be happier about it.
My other son heds off for college in the morning. I pray for him as i know how that influence can be, but he is also a believer and lives according to the word.
My husband is sick with pnuemonia, so i have to baby him right now.
Please continue to pray for amy as I know she is totally confused. She does know the way back, but sometimes it can take a long time to get there. My heart is still broken. A little bitter-sweet. I am glad to have her back for the time being but i am still a little in fear this will happen again. Ask the Father if you will to strenghten me on this and to take my fear away.
And again Bat Elohim, I appreciate you so much.
have a blessed week!
Posts: 1238 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Aug 2004
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Bat Elohim
Advanced Member
Member # 3739
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posted
Hey Yahsway,
How's it going? How is your daughter? How are your other children doing?
Congratulations to your child that got married!
I've been praying for Amy. I hope that all is going well between you and her.
Blessings,
Joanna.
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Numbers 6:24 May ADONAI bless you and keep you. 25 May ADONAI make his face shine on you and show you his favor. 26 May ADONAI lift up his face toward you and give you peace.
Posts: 704 | From: Louisiana | Registered: Aug 2004
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yahsway
Advanced Member
Member # 3738
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posted
thank you all so much for your prayers and helpful insites. I have raised 4 children. I have a 30 yearold,a 24year old who just got married this past weekend, and i have a set of twins amy(whom we are all praying for) and her brother ryan who leaves for college next week.
this is amys senior year in high school as we held her back some time ago. I am sure her father and i have not been the perfect parents, and i guess we have made mistakes along the way. I have tried to show no distinction between any of them, and have brought them all up the same, but she is so different.
sometimes it feels like we live with the enemy and its our own daughter.Now i am sitting here knowing her father and i will be empty-nesters if you will, and i dont know if i can handle this as my kids have been such a big part of my life.
neverthless, my only hope at this point is for Yahweh to show mercy on us all and i pray for Him to call her back. Please remember all of us, thank you again. I love you my family
Posts: 1238 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Aug 2004
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Favor Minded
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posted
We have a blended family and 6 boys, ranging in age now from 23 to 13.
Two are grown and out of the house now, four are still home. 3 of the 4 are in High school now, and one thing is for sure -Each and every one of them is uniquely different and special - All with their own needs, wants and desires - Their own way of rebelling -
The words teenager and rebellion often seem synonymous.
A quote I have always liked which depicts this age group is: "Our youth now love luxury, they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders, and love to chatter in place of exercise.
Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room.
They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers." While this may sound like somebody's description of your teenager, it was actually written by Socrates, who died in 399 BC. Truly teenage rebellion has been around for a long time.
How does one know how much rebellion to allow? This was key for us, because when we started our blended families small group (blendingsteps.org), we had to be sure that we always maintained what it was like for us as kids - How we would have
felt at that same age. So many adults seem to forget what it was like for them at that age. Since we tend to model our own upbringing, we sometimes bring generational curses with us if there were less than desirable situations we found ourselves in. While we should not "Blame our Parents" for the things we have done wrong, we do need to recognize traits within ourselves that might stir up anger and frustration in others.
I for one was very rebellious as a teen - My mother raised me to be a raging maniac because she would always yell at me about just about everything. After almot 40 years, I finally started learning how to better control it because I learned that God was going to use us to minister to families, blended or not.
How do you confront the rebellion and still maintain the relationship?
When do you let kids suffer the consequences of their actions, and when do you step in to stop them from getting hurt?
There are a few principles we've learned the hard way when it comes to dealing with teenagers and rebellion
Teens have a storng need for independence -
It took us a long time to figure out that our definition of success and the definition of success of the kids was very different.
To us, success is when a kid does the right thing. If we can intervene in that young life, help him see why he should do his homework, not go out with that girl, stay away from those kids, be in at this time, etc. and if the kid does it... That's Success!! At least we as parents think so -
The only problem is that in the mind of a young person, even if they did their homework, didn't go out with that girl, stayed away from the wrong crowd and came home on time... They Failed!
IF - If they didn't make those decisions on their own. Teenagers would rather make the wrong decisions, but have them truly be their decisions. Why? Because success to a young person is independence.
Example -
This reality came home to us when we had grounded one of the boys in our home. Jason had shown that he could not handle the amount of freedom he had.
So, for a few weeks he was restricted to the house unless he was at work, school, or with somebody else from the house. He was in night school and had to be to work everyday at 7am.
Several months later Jason told us that there were numerous nights that he would get up at 1 or 2am when everybody else was sleeping and walk around the streets of our town. Now I knew why he was always so tired for work! When we asked him why he did that he said, "Just because I was told I couldn't." We asked him what he did on his hour long walks. "Oh nothing, I just wanted to do my own thing." The strange thing was that he never went on midnight strolls before or after those few weeks of grounding. But in Jason's mind, he succeeded. He was independent. Unfortunately, the search for independence is most commonly known as rebellion.
One of the key strategies is based on the assumption that kids have a need to rebel. We don't try to get them not to rebel at all.
Instead we try to get them to rebel against things that aren't big issues to us. For example, our son didn't like to clean his room. To us it was no a big deal, but we didn't let David know that. In fact we insisted he keep his room clean. He rarely did. It was his area to rebel in. We're grateful that it was that and not a host of other possible things."
If adolescence is a time of transition to adulthood, then it stands to reason that kids should be very independent by the time they leave home. Ideally, a senior in high school would have little or no rules.
We say "Oh no, not in my house! If he's going to live under my roof, he's going to live under my rules!"
I agree with that if there are major areas of rebellion such as drug abuse, criminal activity, or harmful influencing other siblings, where there can be no compromise and the law of the home must be upheld.
For many types of rebellion though, it seems that home is the safest place for kids to fail and get back up on their feet again.
Someone shared this with me -
quote:
I was a resident assistant when I was attending a state college. I always dreaded those first couple of months in the fall. Much of my time would be consumed with cleaning up vomit from freshmen who had left home for the first time and couldn't handle the freedom of partying. What was most discouraging was that many of the ones who got the sickest were from conservative Christian families.
A survey of high school age students revealed that kids feel they only do what they want 20% of the time, 80% of the time they have no sense of choice in what they're doing.
I am not saying parents should not issue consequences, not at all. But I am saying that we need to think a lot more about why and how we issue consequences.
We must think about what will help the young person the most. In our home we talk with the kids about what will help them learn a principle the best. We ask them to come up with consequences that will teach them the most. In most cases we have found that their consequences were stiffer than ours would have been.
To short circuit this principle of a teen's need for independence can hurt kids in one of two ways.
Either they can become so crippled and insecure, afraid to make any decisions on their own or else they will go against everything that their parents stand for.
A close friend of ours grew up with a very stifling father. He is a very wise Christian now, but he has always stayed away from any institutions of higher learning. Why? Because his father always told him he needed to go to college if he was ever going to amount to anything
Of course, even if a parent does all the right things it is no guarantee that a child won't rebel. I was encouraged though to read a survey done several years ago by Youthworker Magazine.
They interviewed people who were walking with Christ ten years after high school. They wanted to find the common denominators. The two most prevalent were:
I was in an environment where I saw authentic faith lived out.
I rebelled against it for a time.
I say all of this not to discourage or say that anyone is not praenting properly - Only to share what God has placed on our hearts and why he has blessed us with an dplaced us in charge of our six wonderful kids.
While not always easy, we have learned that spare the rod and spoil the child is indeed true - But it is also incorrect to stifle them and prevent them from making their own decisions, given enough freedom to make them understand that we trust them, and allowing them to see the impact of their decisions.
I rebelled - I was 15 and moved out, bent on not doing anything I was raised to do - While my mother did not always do everything right - She did try.
We have the luxury of leaning on the Lord Jesus Christ for our understanding, and to know that he is in complete control -
He will bring her back - He will encircle her with his hedge of protection and he will guide you in helping her adjust -
Explore what makes her tick - Explore what she thinks you have done wrong - And validate her feelings.
We tend to get defensive and justify - If we learn to be humble to our kids (OH, this was a HARD one for ME) and let them tell me what I have done wrong, then we can mutually agree to try harder on both sides....
It can be hard - But with the Lords help, he will restore and he wants us to be a family - The family unit is of great importance...
Lord God I lift this family up to you right now - I pray that they will come together in reconciliation and understanding of each other. I pray that with your loving guidance and direction they will grown stronger in you each day, and that other families will see the Love of Christ in them...
I come against the spirit of Homosexuality in the name Jesus I bind that spirit - Satan, you have NO AUTHORITY, NO CONTROL over this girl and NO CONTROL over her family, and in the name and Authority of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ we command you to leave her alone - AMEN!!
We thank you for all these things in the powerful name of our Lord and Savour Jesus Christ, AMEN!!
Jim
Favor Minded
![[Cross]](graemlins/cross.gif)
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TEXASGRANDMA
Advanced Member
Member # 847
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posted
yahsway,
you did the right thing. No one should live with someone who steals from them and curses them.
But you can still share your love for her. When you can, take her out for a meal, just the two of you. Remind her of God's love for her. Don't ever stop praying for her. My son left the church at 21 and came back 3 months ago at 27. He gave his heart to Jesus and is now working in the church. I prayed for 15 years for my hubby before he got saved. I pray that it will be very soon for your daughter. give her the left behind videos.
hugs and prayers,
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Luk 21:28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.
http://www.indieheaven.com/artists/mm (son-in-law)http://www.myspace.com/mireles
Posts: 4985 | From: Washington State | Registered: Jan 2003
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Bat Elohim
Advanced Member
Member # 3739
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posted
I will pray. She knows the truth, it's not so much you she is rebelling against, it is God. He will bring her back in, just have faith and keep loving her and forgiving her, but don't give in to her. She needs to know that she has crossed a line, but don't force her to come back over, just love her and pray. God will do the rest.
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Numbers 6:24 May ADONAI bless you and keep you. 25 May ADONAI make his face shine on you and show you his favor. 26 May ADONAI lift up his face toward you and give you peace.
Posts: 704 | From: Louisiana | Registered: Aug 2004
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yahsway
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Member # 3738
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posted
I would ask anyone who reads this to please pray for me. I had to put my 18 year old daughter out of the house. I never thought i would ever do something like this but i need peace in my home. She has always been in rebellion towards me and her dad and especially with our walk with God. I raised this girl in the church, but she has rebelled and turned her back on us and God. There is so much i could tell you but i am to embarressed to but just know that i love her deeply and i never knew this would hurt so much.Its not like i havent given her chance after chance cause i have, but she has been stealing from us, cursing us (oh that hurts terribly)and now she tells me she is gay. Please. any suggestions? did i do the right thing? I am here for her and she could come back home but not on her terms but mine. I have to draw the line somewhere. Thank you, her name is Amy, please lift her up when you got to the Father in prayer. Thank you my family, Yahsway
Posts: 1238 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Aug 2004
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