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Author
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Topic: Just a question
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njclary
unregistered
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posted
as I said before, I've not been in for a while but some things need to be said.
Young Lady; First to actually answer your question of honoring your mother; You are an adult who makes adult decisions, and the decisions you have already made, would not be honoring, right? so why the difference now?
I have my mother still with me. She is 88 years of age. When she feels the need to make a comment regarding what I do or say, I will listen. This is the way I honor her. And as I am 62 years old, I have for many years made my own decisions, right or wrong, and I will continue to do so. BUT I will always listen to her.
This you should do. BUT I sense an altogether different reason for your query. Are you asking for justification for your own motives regarding your living arrangements? There have been a variety of answers regarding your problem, and condition. Just think of one thing. Your relationship with God.
If I have a strong relationship with God, I live for God. If there is sin in my life, either real or perceived, I must clean it up. There is NO Justification to my condition. Sin is sin. If what I do is contrary to God's word, it is sin. It must be cleaned up.
If you feel the need to marry your livein, after all these years, then you must feel the conviction, in your heart, of the wrongness of this present condition. Your mother, may have advise and thoughts on the matter, but the man is evidently the father of the children and therefore should be the legal partner.
As far as whether or not Marriage is sanctioned Biblically, There are scriptural points for it, but tradition through the millenia, does sanction marriage, and modern Christian convention requires it.
Nevertheless, it is YOUR decision, not your mothers.
God Bless
Joel
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Primoa1970
Advanced Member
Member # 1016
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posted
I don't mean to change the direction of this conversation but......marriage is not a piece of paper. Marriage is not made "official" just because some pastor listened to your vows. Marriage is between you, your spouse, and God. No where in the bible does it say that a person has to be married by a pastor or by the high priest in order for it to be made legal. I'll be the first one to admit it...I lived with my wife before we were "legally" married....but I was married to her in my heart and in the eyes of God long before some stupid piece of paper made it official. The license does not solidify the bond....God does.
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1 John 1
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Posts: 639 | From: Orlando, FL | Registered: Feb 2003
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sunnyd
New Member
Member # 1709
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posted
lostbuthopeful:
Does your guy want to get married?? Maybe all of your attempts have been sabatoged but if the two of you REALLY want to honor God and have Him bless your unity then don't let your mom stop you.
God wants to bless you fully...but you have to be obedient. Pray for His guidance, and then obey what He tells you to do.
ps: If you respect your moms opinion most all the time but not on this issue, it kind of makes me wonder why she is so 'wrong' on this one?? ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
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All for Jesus!
Posts: 3 | Registered: Jun 2003
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Waterdog
Advanced Member
Member # 24
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posted
If you are an adult and can make your own decisions, then decide to marry him and do it, or don't. I don't understand how your mother could stop you from getting married if you're an adult and have decided that is what you are going to do. You don't need her permission, or her signature on anything, so I don't see how she could stop you if that's what yu've made your mind up to do. Most likely, you are in a common law marriage alredy anyway, so all that's really left is a religious ceremony if you desire one. I don't see how an adult could allow her mother to stop her from getting married. Maybe I'm just really clueless... And getting married would solve that little problem BHL brought up.
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So let us go forth to Him outside the camp (Heb 13:11-14)
 
Posts: 374 | From: Austin, TX | Registered: Jun 2002
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becauseHElives
Advanced Member
Member # 87
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posted
lostbuthopeful,
Repent, your are living in sin.
It is called fornication.
Jesus will forgive.
I can not believe no one else has given you this simple message.
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Strive to enter in at the strait gate:for many, I say unto you will seek to enter in, and shall not be able. ( Luke 13:24 )
Posts: 4578 | From: Southeast Texas | Registered: Jun 2002
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wparr
Advanced Member
Member # 891
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posted
My advice is if you love each other marry him. I'm not berating you but that you consider yourself married is a cop out.
Gen 2:24 That is why a man will leave his father and mother and will be united with his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Once you are married your responsibility is to your husband (and your children also)
You are an adult, your mom can't stop you from living your life and getting married to the man you love.
Leave your mom and unite with your husband
Posts: 1203 | From: Eagle Nest, NM | Registered: Jan 2003
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Sentinel
Advanced Member
Member # 1698
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by lostbuthopeful:
Yes, we have every intention of getting married, but thus far my mother has thwarted every effort.
You do not dishonor your parents when you reject their opinions, if their opinions are bad. She should recognize that you've already invested heavily in the guy and that you want to be married.
Posts: 28 | Registered: Jun 2003
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Shala
Advanced Member
Member # 1675
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posted
I will be praying for you...I hope that God will lead you to the answers you are seeking.
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~Shala~
Don't Make God #1 in your life...
Make God your life ![[Cross]](graemlins/cross.gif)
Posts: 44 | From: Tulsa, Ok | Registered: Jun 2003
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lostbuthopeful
New Member
Member # 1710
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posted
P.S. I am here asking for some advice from fellow christians. Not to be berated for my choices. I answer to God.
Posts: 5 | From: Colorado | Registered: Jun 2003
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lostbuthopeful
New Member
Member # 1710
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posted
She doesn't like him because she thinks that he is like my dad, whom she divorced.
Yes, we have every intention of getting married, but thus far my mother has thwarted every effort.
I do care about what she thinks, when it is because she is being reasonable.
She doesn't want us married and has put a stop to it every time. (too long of a story to get into.)
She thinks that since I am her daughter, she can rule my life. (and she tries) What she fails to realize (and I've told her) is that I am an adult and can make my decisions. I may not always make the right one, but I try to.
Posts: 5 | From: Colorado | Registered: Jun 2003
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Sentinel
Advanced Member
Member # 1698
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posted
Is it that she doesn't like him, or doesn't like you shaking up with him and making little Bs?
You say you plan to get married. Do you really have a plan or do you just have a faint intention?
Does your mother's opinion really not matter to you?
Living together without being married dishonors you mother, your children, God, and even yourselves.
Posts: 28 | Registered: Jun 2003
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Shala
Advanced Member
Member # 1675
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posted
I would wonder what her reasoning is for disliking him...I mean if her reasons are validated I would have to respect her wishes of not wanting him in her house.
However I would sit down and talk with her about why you love him and why you feel God is telling you that this is the man to be your husband. Pray about it and pray that you have the right words to gain her acceptance.
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~Shala~
Don't Make God #1 in your life...
Make God your life
Posts: 44 | From: Tulsa, Ok | Registered: Jun 2003
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lostbuthopeful
New Member
Member # 1710
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posted
My mother does not like the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with. I have already been with him for 10 years, and we have 3 children together. We are unmarried ( I know,Iknow) but we do feel we are married and plan on getting married soon. I am an adult but she makes me feel like I am just a kid who is unable to make her own decisions. I normally just tell her I don't want to hear her negative remarks, but I would like to explain to her that she can't change the fact that I love him. That I need her to support me whether or not she likes him. I can't even take him with me to her house for Christmas. So, when God says to Honor thy father and mother, if I tell her that her opinion doesn't matter, is that dishonoring her?
Posts: 5 | From: Colorado | Registered: Jun 2003
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