Christian Message Boards: Sex in a Christian's Life

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Posted by adquattlebaum (Member # 4938) on :

My soon-to-be wife and I have been together for 8 1/2 years. We were not living for the Lord. Recently I have returned to the family of God and now I'm struggling with the subject of sex. The sex was very hormone based. I'd we'd dress up to entice each other, talk about extramarital affairs, even include others in our bed. But now that I've gone back to the Lord what will sex be like after we are married? I know we are supose to enjoy out life as one, but how are we supose to enjoy each other without returning to the old ways?

Posted by TEXASGRANDMA (Member # 847) on :

As a woman, I must tread very carefully, but I suggest you go to your local Christian book store and look for Christian books on love and romance.
God bless you and you and your wife began a Christian relationship. As a woman I can tell you that it is the little things that can add to your relationship. A single rose bought for no reason, helping your mate in the kitchen, even cleaning the bathroom for her without her asking can add sparks to the marriage. God bless you.
betty

Posted by MySavingGrace (Member # 4697) on :

It should be making love and not just sex sex, if that makes snese. If it is true love it will be incredible, better than any other thing.

Posted by Carmela (Member # 4817) on :

I don't want to ruffle any feathers here, but maybe the first thing you should do is pray and ask God if this is the woman He wants you to marry. A part of being a Christian is obeying God. I only say this because I didn't wait for God to give the go ahead and my first marriage didn't work in the end even though were together 13 years before he left. This includes dating time.

Being a Christian is one of the riches blessings we are given. We are given life and it's a life that is so much more abundant then anything else. Nothing can compare to it. However, it also means changing the person we were and becoming the person God created us to be.

God created a man and a woman to come together and be as one. He created the marriage bed to be sacred, special, sin free and intimate between a husband and a wife. That intimacy is broken down once others join in. Your focus changes from love and adoration toward each other to a sexual encounter with others. The intimacy is then lost. There is a passion that should only occur between a husband and wife.

God once showed me that marriage creates a circle with the husband, the wife, and God all connected together. That circle is broken if one person whether it be God or a husband or wife are taken from that. Unity is broken. If others are added then what God has created as a pure relationship because broken and that unity has a whole in it. The circle is broken. Sin has entered in.

I hope this makes sense.lol

Posted by adquattlebaum (Member # 4938) on :

Texasgrandma, you have an excellent suggestion about the book store! Hadn't thought of that one. (The extra little things are a good reminder, too.)THANK YOU.

MySavingGrace, your point is very true. Hadn't thought of it that way.

Carmela, your suggestion on asking God if she is the right woman has been in constant prayers for a few weeks now. And although we've been together for 8 1/2 years, I've put all my life and daily planning into His hands and I'm trying to learn how to let go and let Him fill my daily planner for me, including whom I may marry. And, yes, your post makes perfect sense.

Posted by Carmela (Member # 4817) on :

I will continue to pray with you that God shows you His will. Maybe this is the woman for you or maybe not, but either way God may have changes that He wants to make in both of you before you marry. Changes don't always come quickly. [Smile]

I've learned this the hard way. [Big Grin]

I'm glad to see you are putting your life in God's hands. There isn't any better place to put it.

God Bless you and like I said, I will keep praying for you.

Posted by cici420 (Member # 4925) on :

I just want to let you know that I am praying for you also. Carmela gave you some excellent advice.

Posted by Carmela (Member # 4817) on :

Thanks cici. I just noticed all of my typos though. [Big Grin]