Christian Message Boards: Large or small church

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Posted by bygrace (Member # 4556) on :

I was just curious as to what size church everyone here attends, and what they feel the advantage is to a large, or smaller church?
Ours has been growing rapidly, and in great numbers, to the point I am starting to feel more and more alone or isolated. Has anyone here experienced this? I am pleased that many are coming, I just hope the true reason is not for entertainment or a social club type atmosphere is sought. Maybe I should just learn to adjust accordingly, I just almost feel like I am suffocating.
bygrace

Posted by TEXASGRANDMA (Member # 847) on :

When we were in Houston we actually attended two churches at the same time. One was our home Church and the other we attended on Sunday nights because our Church did not have Sunday night. Over time we became good friends with the Pastor his wife, a young couple. We then attended both Churches on Wed night The Churches were accross the street from each other. One service went from 6-7 and the other 7-8. Our home Church had betweeen 75-100, the other 15-25.

When we moved to Washington it took us 6 months and 5 Churches to find one hubby liked the Pastor. This Church had two services 200 at one and 500 at one. We loved the Senior and the adult ministries Pastor but we really knew no one and left the Church after 6 months. We then visited 3 more Churches. We found one two blocks from our house with probably less than 150 total. Everyone SEEMED friendly. Then hubby and I both became very ill. Even though we called the Bible Study teacher and told them. No one called about us and when we went back everyone was very cold to us. Something happened that night, I want go into it now but I lost all my respect for the Preacher and his wife. I told my hubby I did not want to go back. We went back to the bigger Church, but this time we joined a care group.
Now here I am finally at my point. As your Church gets bigger encrouage people in the Church who have a talent for teacher to have small Bible studies in their home of 12 or less people. This allows people to get personal study and personal contact. Finally after being here almost 2 yrs we have friends in our Church. We have been gone from the other Church for 6 months and no one has called or come by so obviously we were not that important to them. So a big Church can be friendly and like in Houston, our small Church was friendly and a small Church can be uncaring.
The big difference is find a Church that preaches the whole Bible and cares about people too.
Talk with your Pastor at your Church about ways to make your Church more friendly. I don't think a Church is a social club but believe me if people feel unwanted they will leave.

God bless you and I hope this helps.
betty

Posted by Mr Ron (Member # 4498) on :

I don't attend church anymore. Quit attending 3 years ago for various reasons.

But, when I started attending and joined the local Baptist church, it was and is quite small. About 100 or so members. I was in my late 40's then, so they put me the young adult class. The average member of that church must have been at least 70. Great people, really liked it and knew most everyone.

Among other things, my Sunday school teacher used to get on me as I drink wine and an occasional beer. He said going to the grocery store to make the purchases made the church look bad. I quit attending.

I started going to another very large non-denominational church. It was really a great church, with thousands of members. It is still growing. My wife does not attend church, so here I was alone with thousands of wealthy people and didn't know anyone. It kind of felt to me like it did not matter if I went there or not. Quit going.
It is a good church, though.

If I were to start going again, it would be to the small church. It felt better to me. I miss it. Too bad though, I just was not and am still not worthy.

Best wishes in finding a church where you are comfortable!

Ronnie G

Posted by TEXASGRANDMA (Member # 847) on :

Ronnie,

Keep trying. We went to 8 Churches here in Washington before we found our home. Being in a Church home is good for your soul.

I agree with you, about being upset about you buying wine. That was none of their business. I like to buy a can of beer once in awhile for beer battered shrimp.

We have found that when we attend Bible Study we get different prespecives on the Word of God. Our leader will have us read a couple of Chapters before we come and then he will teach on them. He usually always ask what did this mean to you. In our small class there will be many different answers. I think because when we read the Bible we read from our own prespective but whene we discuss it with others we learn from theirs and this helps us all.

God does have a Church home for you, Ronnie so hang in there. I am sorry that your wife does not go with you. I went to Church for 20 yrs by myself with the kids before hubby got saved. But hang in there. God is faithful.
betty

Posted by redkermit (Member # 4059) on :

I grew up in a church that averaged about 15-20 on a Sunday morning. After leaving there, I attended two different churches that both averaged 300+ on Sunday mornings. The first one I felt out of place at, and never really seemed to fit in. The second was a big church with that small home church feeling, and I loved it. I moved a couple years ago, and began attending a church that has two Sunday morning services. Both combined is probably over 300 again. I'm still struggling to find my niche there.

Big and small churches both have their advantages and disadvantages. The biggest problem for me is getting "lost" in a big church. But, that's when you have to connect through Sunday School or small groups, or some other kind of ministry. Personally, I miss the little old church I grew up in where everyone knew everyone else, and you really felt like a family.

Posted by bygrace (Member # 4556) on :

Thanks everyone for your help, it sounds like you each know what I am talking about here. I do go to a Sunday school class, it has a roll of about 150 or so just in my class...Not all 150 are there every Sunday though. There are a lot of wealthy people there, and I too cannot seem to connect. I have made a couple of friends that I am close to, but the rest are just people I "see" there at church. I think you are right about small group Bible study being a good plug -in.
I want less of the socializing and more of the study. [Cross]

Posted by Bat Elohim (Member # 3739) on :

The church I am a member of used to be quite big... 250-300 every sunday morning... but we've had problems in our church and the attendance dwindled down to about 40-50... it has since started to rise again.

I have been visiting a church that has about 300 just on Wed. Nights... On Sundays they have 2 services with about 1500-2000 total (for both services).

I really prefer the smaller church. But I no longer feel "at home" or even welcome in my old church that I am a member of but if we ever get a new pastor, it may start getting better.

Posted by cheech (Member # 4592) on :

I consider this church fairly small...not sure how many but it can't be over 400 total (I could be wrong though). They have to build a new church as this one is quite small. Before I switched churches/religions, I was use to attending churches with a large congregation. I never felt like they really knew us. I went to my last church for 2 years and no one but one girl I worked with, knew our names! The church I'm currently attending more than half know our names. I feel so welcomed at this church and just love it. Large ones are fine but smaller ones are better...more personal and family like.