Christian Message Boards: Re-marriage

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Posted by bygrace (Member # 4556) on :

I have had this discussion recently with someone, and just wanted your thoughts on this subject...Is it ok to re-marry after divorce? I have heard different arguments. I know that some pastors will not perform a marriage for anyone who is divorced. I personally have read and re-read and the Bible is pretty clear to me that it is not ok...I don't want to offend if it is not. I have a dear friend considering this, I pray she does not though. your thoughts?
bygrace

Posted by TEXASGRANDMA (Member # 847) on :

I believe that if your friend repents of her sin of divorce that she is able to remarry. Paul said it better to marry then burn. My grandmother prefered my cousin to live in sin without marriage rather than to marry again. I believe that if we are married we should stay married unless the person leaves us for someone else or abuses us, but once we are divorced, God does not expect us to stop living. This aside, before marrying again, I would suggest that your friend and her hubby to be get Christian counsling to make sure they are prepared for a permant committment.
i hope this helps. You are right about some preachers not marrying couples who have been married before, but others who see that the couple are both Christians and are ready to make a life commitment will marry them.
betty

Posted by bygrace (Member # 4556) on :

Thanks Betty
It is a situation of mental abuse, and they both have had counseling with a pastor. He still goes to the same church as she but she has moved out.
I do wonder though, since he has asked forgiveness and is trying to be better, should she try to repair it? I don't think she wants to as I "believe" she is seeing someone else.
I feel for the children.
bygrace

Posted by TEXASGRANDMA (Member # 847) on :

Your welcome,

This is a suitation that is hard to determine. Many times mental abuse leads to physcial abuse. Is he trying just to get her back? Before she takes him back she would want to pray. As her friend, I would suggest that she prays alot and talks to her minister before making any decision.
God bless you, hon.
betty

Posted by bygrace (Member # 4556) on :

Thanks again Betty, Yes she has been in counseling. I feel so torn as what to say to her most of the time. I don't think she should go back if he were to continue the abuse, but I don't think she should be with anyone else either. Praying for her discernment in the matter. bygrace

Posted by HisGrace (Member # 3438) on :

quote:
Originally posted by bygrace:
I do wonder though, since he has asked forgiveness and is trying to be better, should she try to repair it? I don't think she wants to as I "believe" she is seeing someone else.
I feel for the children.
bygrace

You didn't say that he was committing adultery bygrace. Since she is seeing someone else, adultery or not, she really has compounded the problem.

The Bible says that the only reason we can get a divorce is if the spouse is committing adultery.

Matthew 19;3-6
Some Pharises came and tried to trap him with this question. "Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for any reason?"
"Haven't you read the Scriptures?" Jesus replied. "They record that from the beginning God made them male and female." And he said?" this expalins why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Since they are longer two but one, let no one separate them, for God has joined them together."....
"And I tell you this, a man who divorces is wife and marries another commits adultery - unless his wife has been unfaithful."

When two people are joined in marriage they become as one. That vow was made before God and man, and if one spouse commits adultery, that vow has been shattered. They are no longer just one -someone else has been added to the mix.

I Corin.7:12-17 speaks about that we must not leave our spouses, and must accept whatever situation the Lord has put us in. However, if a non-Christian spouse chooses to leave, it is okay to let them go.

We can't judge this woman. If she has experienced serious mental abuse, perhaps the Lord has allowed her leave. As you say, this case needs a great deal of discernment.

Posted by bygrace (Member # 4556) on :

Hisgrace,
"He" isn't committing adultery but "she" is. She did leave him because of the mental abuse, but she is now seeing someone else...Sorry for not clarifying that.I think that she is justifying the adultery because she was treated badly. That is what I don't agree with. I still wonder even if this guy did change,( as we know only God can do for him) should she stay and try to repair it.
I am still just not giving my advice to her now, because I feel unqualified at the moment.I do pray for God to give me the right words should she ask though. bygrace

Posted by bygrace (Member # 4556) on :

Sorry hisgrace, I just realized you did understand that "she" was the one in adultery...I mis read your post! I am losing the eyesight!!lol.
bygrace

Posted by HisGrace (Member # 3438) on :

No problem bygrace. Doesn't look as if she is too receptive to change right now since she has other interests. Just continue to pray for wisdom.