Christian Message Boards: NEW FAITH / OLD FRIENDS

This is topic NEW FAITH / OLD FRIENDS in forum Questions & Answers at Christian Message Boards.

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Posted by LEONA_2268 (Member # 4522) on :

Hi, I want to know what to do....My hubby and I have begun attending church with our children.We all enjoy it greatly. The issue is how to get the people we used to hang out with to accept our choice? They want to spend time with us when we would rather do things with our "church" friends.The old friends are relatives of mine, so there is not an easy clean break to be made. The new friends were friends of mine and my hubby's in school, we missed them and enjoy them again. Help me with the words that will explain our new life path to the old friends.

Posted by HisGrace (Member # 3438) on :

Welcome Leona - This certainly is difficult situation since your old friends are in the family.

The old friends will probably start feeling uncomforable with your new lifestyle and eventually will prefer to go their own way. Socially, many feel on pins and needles around Christians because they are afraid they are going to act inappropriately or say the wrong thing.

You probably have already told them that you are avid churchgoers, so they will be aware that you have taken on a new lifestyle. I'm sure through prayer the Lord will orchestrate a plan through your daily witness, in order that you won't have to say anything, and you will see them losing interest in continuing a close relationship with you.

Posted by LEONA_2268 (Member # 4522) on :

TY FOR THE ADVICE, HISGRACE. HERE IS THE LATEST UPDATE ON THE SITUATION FOR YA'LL. I HAVE THE FLU. I TOLD THE OLD FRIENDS I HAVE THE FLU AND THAT WE WOULD BE STAYING HOME FOR ATLEAST A WEEK SO I WOULD NOT GET ANYONE ELSE SICK. THE SAME DAY I SAID THAT , THEY CALL TO INVITE US TO COME OVER....THEY CALLED THE NEXT DAY, SEVERAL TIMES, TO INVITE US OVER. I GOT AN I.M. FROM THEM THIS MORNING STATING THAT WE WERE 'IGNORING THEM AND THAT WE WERE NEVER GOING TO HAVE FRIENDS TREATING PEOPLE THE WAY WE DO!' THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS BEEN THE RESPONSE TO US NOT GOING TO SEE THEM. WHEN WE HAVE OTHER PLANS OR ONE OF US IS SICK, THEY TELL US WE ARE IGNORING THEM AND WILL ALWAYS BE ALONE. ANYONE THAT CAN TELL ME A NICE WAY TO HANDLE THIS, PLEASE TELL ME. THANKS FOR RESPONDING. [1zhelp]

Posted by HisGrace (Member # 3438) on :

Sometimes God brings us to a place where prayer is the only answer to our problems. At first I thought that you were talking about a group of friends, but now I am thinking that you are just speaking about a couple.

Why don't you ask them to join you in the some of the church activities - could that be an option? If they refuse, you are off the hook. It looks like you can't break ties with them totally, so you may have to accept their invitations occasionally to go visit them. If they see that you don't have anything in common anymore, their ties with you may cool off.

Posted by Cricket (Member # 2960) on :

I agree that you should invite them to join you in church activities. I assume, but cannot really tell, that they have no church affiliation. Is that correct? If so, inviting them to attend church activities will let them know you are serious about your "new life" and want to include them. We are to reach out to others and share the gospel. Therefore, in doing so you will have at least planted the seed. If it doesn't take root, you have at least tried. Hope this helps. Good luck!

Posted by LEONA_2268 (Member # 4522) on :

THANKS TO BOTH OF YOU. I'LL GIVE IT A SHOT.

Posted by LEONA_2268 (Member # 4522) on :

I SENT AN EASTER SERVICE INVITATION. I'LL LET YA'LL KNOW HOW IT GOES.
[Prayer]

Posted by LEONA_2268 (Member # 4522) on :

NO RESPONSE TO INVITE. NO ONE CAME OR SAID WHY THEY DIDN'T. ANY OTHER SUGGESTIONS? [Kiss]

Posted by TEXASGRANDMA (Member # 847) on :

Just keep inviting them to Church. Either, they will get tired of you asking and go to Church or they will get tired of you asking and spend less time around you. But never stop praying for them. God loves them, too!
betty

Posted by HisGrace (Member # 3438) on :

quote:
Originally posted by TEXASGRANDMA:
Either, they will get tired of you asking and go to Church or they will get tired of you asking and spend less time around you.

This is what I have been thinking as well.

Posted by Bat Elohim (Member # 3739) on :

Welcome Leona!!

I, too, am from Louisiana!!!

I'll be praying for you and your friends/family in this situation. My family also tries to get me to do stuff when they know I have church things planned. They have told me that I belong to a cult and am ignoring them. I've invited them to church and to church activities. Sometimes they come, but not very often... usually only if free food is involved!! LOL!

It's taken them about 5 years now to stop getting angry at me everytime I turn down an invitation when it conflicts with prior plans. But I do make time for my family as well. Every Tuesday I go to my mom's for supper. This keeps her from thinking I'm ignoring her.
I also skip church sometimes when my whole family is getting together, like on a birthday or other special occasion. This also helps calm the worries that I've joined a cult!

I hope and pray that things will get easier for you.

Blessings and Shalom!
Joanna.

Posted by LEONA_2268 (Member # 4522) on :

Hi and thanks for the nice welcome! LOL Joanna. I understand the names. The relatives I speak of call us two-faced. We know better and go on with our things. The last time this situation came up, we stopped speaking for a year. We have been speaking for the last 6 monthes. We try to put others first and they always want to be first, so at times I feel we could handle putting them first differently. We have trouble understanding how some people always have to be first. Thanks for the prayers.
Love All,
Sherri

Posted by Starlight (Member # 4474) on :

Wow, Leona, your friends sound like they're excessively needy. Do they have a wide circle of friends that they hang out with, or has it mainly been just with you and your husband?

I can hardly imagine any of my friends outright accusing me of ignoring them. That's just rather strange that your friends would do that. It might even be something that would require the help of a therapist for them to overcome.