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Posted by Josh (Member # 3711) on :

alright, theres this girl that i saw while i was at my friends graduation party, then i saw
her the next day at church, and shes really pretty and everything, but the downside is
shes like 4 yrs younger than me, im 17. But if the relationship would be Godly, would
it really be that bad. and another weird thing, i dont even know her, just saw her the one
day at the grad. party and that night i had a dream w/ her in it already, it was really weird.
well any advice is welcome, thanks.

Posted by TEXASGRANDMA (Member # 847) on :

I suggest you pray that God will bring you someone your own age. I know it is hard at your age to understand, but when you are 17, a 4 year age difference is way different than someone who is 30 and 26. It sounds unfair but it is right. A 13 year old for one thing is too young to date.
I think it is woundeful that you seek guidance and have a open heart to instruction. God will bless for this. God has someone for you.
God bless you, honey.
Betty

Posted by Endoxos (Member # 2929) on :

A four year difference is not that bad... when you're older (ironically, TexasGrandma, you *must* have some sort of inside info ^_^. My husband and I are 30 and 26, respectively ^_~ ). But consider that she has *just* become a teen, and has quite a bit of maturing to do (not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well) whereas you are nearly an adult, with little maturing left.

Anything that would merely hurt a girl that is your peer (say, such as an arguement or a break-up) might be scarring to a girl that's much your junior.

As you get older, age differences matter less, especially when both are adults. But while you are yet youths, it does matter, quite a bit. I wish to bring up my grandparents, for an example. Had they have met as children, my grandma would have been in 5th or 6th grade the day my grandpa was born, and she'd have been 2 years out of High School when he was in 5th grade. Yet, during their marriage, it mattered less, and became a non-issue as they aged. It sounds freaky for a ten-year old to date a newborn, doesn't it? What about a 15 year old to date a 5 year old? A little less weird (but still severely pushing the limits) for a 20 year old to date a 10 year old... but an 80 year old married to a 70 year old becomes a non-issue.

If you really like this girl, try again several years from now. She will be more mature, and the playing field will be more level (ie she won't be fighting the urge to braid doll's hair while you're working on your car).