Christian Message Boards: Question For The Couples

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Posted by J4Jesus (Member # 1367) on :

Man i thought i'd ask this here because maybe some of you have dealt with this too.

Do you and your significant other keep a conversation going? Is it awkward all the time?
Or is it awesome?

Because i'm having a terrible time with this and i don't know why. I've been dating her for over a month now and it's always the same.

[Confused]

Posted by NLP (Member # 5870) on :

I never feel ackward talking to my husband, but dating I may have felt it a time or two I can't really remember though.

If you've only been dating her a month, you might just be trying too hard to avoid any subject that she might not find interesting enough. So the result is you're not saying anything at all and you sit in silence, which can be very ackward.
It probably has a lot to do w/your personality, but just try not to think about it too much.

You'll know in a short period of time if she is the one for you.

I think one our short comings as Christians is that we always give our concerns to the Lord and then we turn right around and begin worrying how WE are going to solve it.

Pray to the Lord about it and if the ackwardness changes then she might be the one, if not; the Lord may be telling you through the silence that she is not the one and the situation won't change.

If you have Faith the Lord will let you know. [Prayer]

I hope this helps,
Nina [Smile]

Posted by J4Jesus (Member # 1367) on :

hey thanks for the advice.

Yea it's all about God's will and i just don't know if it is.

I mean, i've recently told her we should just be friends. I also did it one other time but she freaked out and didn't like that idea of Breaking It Off. So i went with it, maybe hoping it would be awesome.

Naw dude, it's terrible. Sitting in the car, eating out together is a DISASTER!! She hates it when i'm quiet. I really don't care but for the sake of the relationship i wish i could talk more but i have NO CLUE WHAT TO SAY EVER!!

And it's just gotten on my nerves too long now.

Posted by Primoa1970 (Member # 1016) on :

My wife and I are approaching 5 years this Friday.....we never run out of things to chat about. My advice to you (and I'm not a professional by any stretch)......focus the conversation on her. Ask her about her day....ask her how she's feeling....make her feel like the most important person in the world (or at least in the room).
Just my humble advice.....
Primo

Posted by ahar (Member # 5810) on :

From what I remember, those first few dates are always a bit difficult and sometimes conversation isn't always forthcoming. The key is to relax - if you're relaxed then conversation flows more freely. I seem to remember I used to start talking about serious things like politics if the conversation dried up. My wife liked the discussion then - she tends to throw cutlery at me now if I witter on too much [Smile]

Don't be afraid to break it off if it doesn't feel right - in the long run it'll be better for both of you no matter how difficult it is.

Posted by Eduardo Grequi (Member # 3984) on :

Fear of Saying the wrong thing, because the fow will jet on you!

I remember dating its been longer than time, I guess 25 years or so. But my biggest fear is rejection. Rejection is better before the "I do's" then afterwards. Have you asked yourself, important questions!

"Do you trust her?" remeber loving someone is not the same as trusting someone. God loves us their is no doubt, but he definitely does not trust us. We must earn this trust.

Is your girlfrend bornagain and if so- Do you and her share they same faith? The bible does says,
'ACCEPT TWO WALK TOGETHER, HOW CAN THEY AGREE?"
If my thoughts are right it is in the book of the Ecclesiates.

It is okay to be together, and not say a word. A good smile or just holding one another, is okay,

My wife always insisted there must be some type of talking going on to be right. I told her you know it is better to be quite because that is health too.

Too much talking shows neverousness, a good quality sentence with 5 words is better then an hour of nothingness words. You probably couldn't remember.

Finally better to pray to the Lord, and read the Book of Ruth. I am by the way hopeless romantic!!! [wiggle7]

Posted by J4Jesus (Member # 1367) on :

man, i sent her the break up email but she now tells me she never even got it so she doesn't even know.

now i don't wanna send it.

Could it be God doesn't want us to be together? Is He creating a Stumbling block? Is it because of my Spiritual Immaturity?

Am I Supposed to stay single? Cause i don't seem to be functioning well in this thing with her.

Maybe we should have been friends first. I basically asked her to be my girlfriend over the internet and NOW we're in it, and our expectations are way too extreme too soon, ya know?

Or does that have anything to do with it?

[Confused]

Posted by TEXASGRANDMA (Member # 847) on :

I think the best relationships start out with friendship. Maybe you took this relationship to far too fast. Maybe you should back track to friendship and see how it goes.
betty

Posted by Jazzee (Member # 6040) on :

Are you in love with her? I mean truly like "I can't think of anything else than her I want to be with her aaaalll the time" kinda love?

If not, she probably ain't the right one. You sound kinda lukewarm about the relationship. If she is not the one that knocks your shoes off, then wait for the one who does. Getting married too fast and to the wrong person is disasterous...trust me, I've been there!

Posted by helpforhomeschoolers (Member # 15) on :

Yeah like graduating from High School first is kinda a good idea. [updown]

Posted by J4Jesus (Member # 1367) on :

we're getting there, thanks.