Christian Message Boards: Why does God hate divorce? (Malachi 2:16)

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Posted by arunangelo (Member # 4981) on :

Marriage covenant is a covenant of love. Since God is love (1 John4:8), it is a covenant of God. No one therefore, can put aside the covenant (Matt 19:6). Divorce therefore, goes directly against God; and those who remarry after divorce commit adultery (Luke 16:18). God is therefore, not pleased with the offering of those who divorce their spouse (Malachi 2: 13-14).

God always stays faithful to His covenant with us. When we were unfaithful to Him, He brought us healing by sacrificing His own life. As believers, we are called to love our spouse just as Christ loves us (Eph 5:25). The Lord told Hosea (Hosea 3:1), "Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes." We therefore, have to be faithful to our covenant with our spouse, even when there is unfaithfulness and hurt; and bring healing to our spouse by our prayers, sacrifices and support.

Divorce is absolutely prohibited by the Gospels (Mk 10:11-12, Luke 6:18; Matthew 5: 31-32). In Matthew’s gospel the exception is for unlawful marriages. The exception in the Greek text is porneia (which means incest or fornication), and not moiceia (which means adultery). The exception is for marriages between close relatives, which according to Mosaic Law (Lv 18:6-18) were unlawful, because, they were considered as incest. According to some authors it also refers to Jewish betrothal process, in which, prior to the marriage, if it was discovered that the bride was not a virgin (had committed fornication), the groom could back out. Such was the case when Joseph had planned to back out, when he found out that Mary was pregnant with Jesus.

Posted by shadowmaker (Member # 3696) on :

So you re saying that God wants people to stay in abusive relationships, with spouse that commit adultery, drug abusers, molesters, etc.?

So what youre saying is I wasnt suppose to divorce my first wife for committing adultery?

Matt 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication....

Are you saying that even if that wasnt what happened, God wont forgive someone of this sin?

What if someone was married 10 times but wasnt saved during any of these marriages? Is that person doomed?

Posted by saved1948 (Member # 5391) on :

I do not think God wants us to live in abusive relationships.God wants peace for us.Adultery is a Biblical divorce.God wants a husband and a wife to come to him and pray to him together.That doesn't always happen.God wants a husband to love his wife like God loves the Church. That doesn't always happen.God wants a wife to love and respect her husband and turn to him as a Godly leader in the household.That doesn't always happen.<><

Posted by BORN AGAIN (Member # 5) on :

Divorce? How about marriage first?

I haven't been in a good, healthy Christian relationsip YET. Thus far that whole great warm marriage thing has been elusive to me in my life.

My current longterm girlfriend has problems with crack and alcohol so I can't marry her and we have to live apart, like a Nile village wife with the kids while the husband works in Cairo; but I care for her as a friend and wish it could me more, but that may never happen.

She has Hepatitis C from a blood transfusion she got 20+ years ago before blood began to be screened.

She will probably die not long from now, unless the LORD answers my prayer for a long life together.

Maybe after that, I will have a good, warm Christian wife? Maybe then I can talk about divorce. [Big Grin]

God bless, [Cross]

BORN AGAIN
"what am I without You?"

Posted by helpforhomeschoolers (Member # 15) on :

BA: I so pray that God grants you a wonderful godly wife some day and that divorce is a word thet never enters either of your vocabularies. We continue to pray for Cathy. [hug]

Posted by Pleasemaranatha (Member # 5150) on :

BornAgain we will be praying for you and your girlfriend too. Everyone needs God's help for the right spouse. Hang in there. I have faith God will answer your prayers and ours.

God Bless you and yours

Posted by Chaplain Bob (Member # 5019) on :

quote:
Originally posted by shadowmaker:
So you re saying that God wants people to stay in abusive relationships, with spouse that commit adultery, drug abusers, molesters, etc.?

So what youre saying is I wasnt suppose to divorce my first wife for committing adultery?

Matt 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication....

Are you saying that even if that wasnt what happened, God wont forgive someone of this sin?

What if someone was married 10 times but wasnt saved during any of these marriages? Is that person doomed?

The reason the divorce rate is as high in the Christian community as it is in the rest of society is because many (if not most) Christians fail to consult God BEFORE they marry but instead run to the altar and ask God to bless THEIR choice.

In His teaching about divorce Jesus was not talking to married men but to men we would call "engaged" today. If a man learned his fiancee' had sex with another man before they consumated their marriage he could give her a bill of divorcement and not have to marry her. Check the story of Joseph (Mary's husband). In that culture the couple was considered husband and wife when they were "engaged".

There are no Scriptural grounds for divorce. (That's based on the assumption a marriage is ordained by God.) When the Bible says "God hates divorce" it's talking about marriages GOD has put together. IMO marriages where God was not consulted are outside His guidelines.

Posted by shadowmaker (Member # 3696) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Chaplain Bob:

quote:
Originally posted by shadowmaker:
So you re saying that God wants people to stay in abusive relationships, with spouse that commit adultery, drug abusers, molesters, etc.?

So what youre saying is I wasnt suppose to divorce my first wife for committing adultery?

Matt 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication....

Are you saying that even if that wasnt what happened, God wont forgive someone of this sin?

What if someone was married 10 times but wasnt saved during any of these marriages? Is that person doomed?
The reason the divorce rate is as high in the Christian community as it is in the rest of society is because many (if not most) Christians fail to consult God BEFORE they marry but instead run to the altar and ask God to bless THEIR choice.

In His teaching about divorce Jesus was not talking to married men but to men we would call "engaged" today. If a man learned his fiancee' had sex with another man before they consumated their marriage he could give her a bill of divorcement and not have to marry her. Check the story of Joseph (Mary's husband). In that culture the couple was considered husband and wife when they were "engaged".

There are no Scriptural grounds for divorce. (That's based on the assumption a marriage is ordained by God.) When the Bible says "God hates divorce" it's talking about marriages GOD has put together. IMO marriages where God was not consulted are outside His guidelines.

I agree with part of that but disagree too. WHat if one commited adultery? Even if 2 truly saved people that God put together, if one stumbles and commits adultery, you re saying its ok and that divorce isnt justified?

Where in the Bible does it say 2 people have to go in front of a pastor or justice of the peace or whatever? How come now, 2 people "engaged" still arent considered married?

Posted by timberwolf (Member # 5510) on :

If one was to look at what Paul said about divorce in 1 Cor. 7:15 "But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace." As far as the sinning part goes, When we ask for forgiveness of our sin God remembers them no more, Is. 43:25.

If we truley believe in Jesus and our heart is right with him, when we repent we are forever forgiven our sins. My belief in marriage with no divorce starts when we truly know the word of God. Divorce is sin along with everthing else that we have done in our live before we came to Jesus and was born again. As Christians we have no desire to commit sins of any kind. As long as we live on earth we will transgress and sin, no mater how hard we try not to. This is why we ask for forgiveness each and every day if not several times a day. And the promise that we have from God is that when we repent from our hearts then he will not remember any of our sins, ever.

Posted by Chaplain Bob (Member # 5019) on :

[/QUOTE]I agree with part of that but disagree too. WHat if one commited adultery? Even if 2 truly saved people that God put together, if one stumbles and commits adultery, you re saying its ok and that divorce isnt justified?

Where in the Bible does it say 2 people have to go in front of a pastor or justice of the peace or whatever? How come now, 2 people "engaged" still arent considered married? [/QB][/QUOTE]

I never said adultry is OK. I said it is not grounds for divorce in a marriage GOD has put together. Forgiveness and healing come into play here. Twenty years into our marriage my wife left and was gone for 15 months. During that time she had affairs with five different men. When she returned (she said because God told her to) she asked my forgiveness and I granted it. She brought an STD with her. To this day her sex with these other men has not bothered me. She is now my best friend and last month we celebrated our 36th anniversary.

Too often one or the other partner in a marriage wants to bail when adultry has been committed. I believe they are looking for an excuse in the first place. Of course, as I said, the main problem is too few ask GOD if the marriage should be.

The Bible does not say that a couple needs to go before a minister or justice of the peace (only State law does). I believe what makes a couple "Biblically" married is when they have sexual intercourse. IMO that's why Jesus warned about having multiple sex partners (committing "fornication").

Posted by shadowmaker (Member # 3696) on :

Again, I agree and disagree. I was in the same situation as you. Sadly, I couldnt forget what she did. I forgave her long ago. And I admire you for being able to work thru your problems and move on. But I couldnt.

Am I wrong for divorcing her? no. I wasnt looking for an excuse to bail. It absolutely tore me up and she did come back. But the trust was gone. I tried and it just wasnt the same.

Did God put our marriage together? I dont know. But I do know that neither of us were saved at the time.

I do know that God put me and my wife now together. Shes wonderful and I love her with all my heart. But if she ever committed adultery, I dont think I would stay.

Again, I admire you for being able to do what I couldnt.

Posted by Steven (Member # 5217) on :

I think God hates devorce because of what it does to us and our families.I just put it in all the other catagories that He does.---Sin---

Posted by saved1948 (Member # 5391) on :

quote:
The reason the divorce rate is as high in the Christian community as it is in the rest of society is because many (if not most) Christians fail to consult God BEFORE they marry but instead run to the altar and ask God to bless THEIR choice.

Boy!Is that ever the truth!<><

Posted by HisGrace (Member # 3438) on :

I believe God hates divorce because when he makes a covenant with us it is a binding solemn vow and he would never break it. Equally, when we make a solemn vow with our spouse, God expects us, through His strength, to uphold and nurture that covenant with the same honour He values a covenant. However, as humans, one of the parties may commit adultery, and that vow has been put asunder by becoming shattered and broken.

We may argue that the Bible only says that we can 'divorce' if we are engaged, but God is also compassionate enough to allow us to let our husband/wife leave if they decide to go.

It is obvious that the following scripture is talking about marriage because it mentions children.

1 Cor. 7: 14-15 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

Posted by Steven (Member # 5217) on :

[

quote:

Equally, when we make a solemn vow with our spouse, God expects us, through His strength, to uphold and nurture that covenant with the same honour He values a covenant. However, as humans, one of the parties may commit adultery, and that vow has been put asunder by becoming shattered and broken.

We may argue that the Bible only says that we can 'divorce' if we are engaged, but God is also compassionate enough to allow us to let our husband/wife leave if they decide to go.

It is obvious that the following scripture is talking about marriage because it mentions children.

1 Cor. 7: 14-15 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. [/QB][/QUOTE]
I am kinda new and I have a question.Does not covenant mean agreement and we have a Old Covenant and a New Covenant?It appears to me that God did change his agreement.Just a question!

Posted by Pleasemaranatha (Member # 5150) on :

I think marriage is very important. Ours is a triangle between God, my husband, and myself. God has been the glue that has kept us together these 35 plus years. We need glue to keep us together every single day.

There has been problems along the way. All marriages have difficult times. But we didn't want to throw years away because of sin and temptation. Sin is sin. Gossip is as bad as
cheating on a spouse. With God's help it is possible to forgive and forget; especially when God lets us see through HIS eyes.

I don't think divorce is terrible or worse than any other sin. I don't know if it is really a sin in all cases. I leave it up to God to judge. He knows we blow it and mess up. He knows also how to mend our lives back to be whole again. I am glad he loves us all. I am really glad God has a sense of humor. [Smile]