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Author
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Topic: Discouraged
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chestnutmare
Advanced Member
Member # 392
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posted
You are like a breath of fresh air. You cannot imagine how grateful I feel.
I haven't really settled into a church in this area. I have been drifting from one to another struggling with some of their teachings but there is one which even though I disagree with some of their doctrine, I have had perhaps more involvement with so, I just emailed the pastor and asked if there was something I could do, someone I could help since I am still unemployed and have some spare time. Praise the Lord. I feel like I have just lifted a controlling noose from my neck. I have no idea where it will lead but I am at least trying.
Posts: 79 | From: Swanzey, NH | Registered: Sep 2002
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helpforhomeschoolers
Advanced Member
Member # 15
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posted
You are in no way a burden here! It is our blessing to be able to encourage each other and hold each other up in times of trouble. The folks on this board have been a great source of encouragement and love and prayer in times of need.
Philippians 4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
Posts: 4684 | From: Southern Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: Jun 2002
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chestnutmare
Advanced Member
Member # 392
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posted
Dear Linda,
What wisdom! I hadn't considered that I might have alternative ways of tithing. My parents taught me to be a generous person but I had never considered it to be tithing. You are so right. There are a lot of things I could do. My husband may not approve but, he doesn't seem to approve of anything I do so what is the difference. I don't mean to be disrespectful of him its just the way it is. Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I hope that others may learn from it as well because I'm sure that I am not the only one who has had this idea. Of course during ancient times, agrarian societies gave of what they had to give. If not money then their goods. This is so strange, it has been staring me right in the face and I didn't even see it. Thank you for speaking truth to me.
As for my marriage. I do not seek divorce and it is very unsettling. I understand that the scriptures say that if the unbeliever chooses to leave the marriage, the believer is free. However, if he chooses to stay, he does receive benefit: he is sanctified by the believer. I would like to cast my burdens on Him, or find a way of escape from this turmoil. I am afraid that it is affecting my health as well. I have not given it over yet. I am faced daily with angry displays and they challenge me to respond in a godly fashion. Maybe this is a schooling for me, and I am quite eager for graduation day. Want out! But for now, you give me encouragement to endure. Thank you. I am sorry to be a burden for you by my complaints. I am not strong enough to do this on my own.
Posts: 79 | From: Swanzey, NH | Registered: Sep 2002
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helpforhomeschoolers
Advanced Member
Member # 15
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posted
quote:
Linda, I cannot even tithe except when I somehow sell something and get money.
We can always tithe, if God has not given you cash to tithe, what has he given you? Time, food, love what?
God does not need our cash, he desires our thanksgiving that realizing that ALL of what we do have is given by him and used to bless others in HIS name.
When my husband was out of work for more than a year, we had tough times; had it not been for our church we would have lost everything. We learned to be creative in what we gave. If we had two in the cupboard of anything we gave the second to someone else who had need. When a member of our church who is a foster mother of aproximately 10 kids at any given time, was sick and could not cook, I had nothing in the cupboard to give, so I went to the local grocery store and had a turkey donated. I gave the cooking and the time to care... it was all I had to give, but it was a blessing in HIS name to this woman and her family and also to me to see that we always have something to give. The reason we always have something to give is that we always HAVE something given to us FROM HIM and he always gives enough for us and enough to bless others.
My heart goes out to you in regard to the being unequally yoked situation. But it sounds like you have a good grasp on what you are to do and how you are to handle the situation. Maybe your unemployment is being allowed that the situation may come to a head so to speak. Maybe God is going to release you from this bond and maybe it will come because of your unemployment. Maybe you dont desire to be released. I again don't know, but I am sure that you should not be distressed over the unemployment, you can only do your part... to look in earnest and you have. But Jobs also come from God! Promotions come from God. We fool ourselves when we think that our gain in this world or our provision in this world comes from any place or anything that we can do, but it comes from God.
If you are seeking God's will and God's will is that you find a job you will and if it is not you wont... that sounds so simple that it is silly, but we have to learn when to say OK God; I have done all that I can do... the rest is in your hands and I am going to rest in knowing that you alone are in control.
I will be praying for you.
Linda
Posts: 4684 | From: Southern Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: Jun 2002
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chestnutmare
Advanced Member
Member # 392
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posted
Dear Linda:
You certainly have given me a lot to think about. Thank you for your very thoughtful response.
I am not sure how to answer. On the one hand, I see work as a form of our worship of God. It enables people to use the creative gifts imparted by their creator to fulfill the mandate given by God in Genesis 1:28. And at the same time, I feel that fulfilling Isaiah 58: 7–10 is essential to my christian expression therefore my desire is to be used in some way to help either by earning the money and giving so that others may fulfill this mandate or to be directly involved myself. Linda, I cannot even tithe except when I somehow sell something and get money.
The other side of the coin is that my husband barely speaks to me. I am being punished. He is angry and seems to be angling for a divorce. I don't think he has filed yet but, I don't know if I am coming or going. He works part-time as a music teacher but was trained as a classical pianist. He has been disappointed about his move to this country when we got married because he hasn't been having many performance opportunities. This is something that I am being blamed for. Actually, I think it is that because he isn't a christian, he hates me for my christianity and is essentially punishing me for it.
It is painful. I would like my home to be a haven but I am sleeping with the enemy. Wasn't that a movie or book? Well for me it is a reality. I can honestly say that while I don't like the hurting, God has been at work in my life and I am thankful for the changes that I have seen in my life.
One thing I want to be sure of is that if I am doing something or not doing something that I should, sins of omission or commission, I want to know what it is. Am I missing something? I have spent a lot of time examining God's word and my life. I have seen that I am a profane woman and that the hand of God is upon my life, sanctifying me and making me holy and this work will continue until I am taken home.
I don't desire divorce. I want to obey I Peter 3, and of course all of scripture but you see what I mean. I want to by my life, my faith, my decisions, my demeanor, all that I am, reflect the grace of God in my life and by so doing draw my husband to salvation. I recognize also that if he chooses to leave, he is free to leave. I Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
I do not seek to give any cause for him to be unhappy and leave. It is wrenching. I have made his life much better than it ever was. I won't say that I am a perfect wife but I have tried and will continue to try to be a godly wife to him. And at times, when I am so upset and angry at the way he behaves, I do whatever I can to "pour coals of fire on his head" hee hee Rom. 12:20 On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
I don't want to sound defeated by any means. I am in need of refreshment though as this trial has been very draining.
Posts: 79 | From: Swanzey, NH | Registered: Sep 2002
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helpforhomeschoolers
Advanced Member
Member # 15
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posted
Hi Chestnutmare:
It has been a long time since we have heard from you. I am sorry to hear about your current state of dispair and I will certainly pray with you.
But I wanted to offer this in hopes of encouraging you. Being without work can be very discouraging. But we have to keep our focus on HIM. My own experience has been that in my lifetime, I placed far too much importance on who I was a work. My work was a source of so many things... pride, self esteem, accomplishment, control, etc...
God is in control, sister, and God has a way of peeling the onion if you will, when there are things in our lives that we place on pedestals of importance that ONLY he should have.
In my own life, this understanding has come duriing a long period of un-employment, when it seemed that God had shut a door and no other would open. I was unemployed once for almost two years. Let me tell you my pride and self esteeem went in the toilet, and so did my lifestyle because of lack of finances. I was so desperate that I would have worked at McDonald's or scrubbing toilets at the local restaraunt, but even they would not hire me because I was overqualified.
I find that it is in these times when God shuts a door and we cant even find a window open, that he is holding us there, because we need to understand something before we move on.
Is there something God wants you to see?
You said this...
quote:
My husband has suggested that he will seek a divorce unless I am working and helping to support our household.
This might be part of it... Work, finances, etc... will not hold a marriage together. Only God can do that.
I dont know your situation, but I would emplore you to get down on your knees and ask God why you are stuck in this place, ask HIM, if there is something you need to see.
It sounds like you have been praying for relief, and relief isn't coming. HE is our provider and so, if it seems that he is not answering prayer right now, or not providing, or answering "No" then, perhaps what you are to see is that "HIS grace is sufficient."
Honestly, I dont know the answers, but HE does, and He will not withhold the answers from you sister, but sometimes we ask the wrong questions.
Is it possible that employment is not what HE wants you to have at this moment? Is it possible that employment will bring you no good at this moment or will postpone something he is trying to move you to deal with at this moment?
Maybe you need to stop looking; if what you are doing is not working; maybe that is the answer... NO.
I have learned that sometimes if we persist, God will allow us our hearts desire, but when we get it.. we then see that it was not HIS desire for us. I have thus learned to pray and accept HIS WILL ONLY... nothing more and nothing less. This sometimes also requires me to pray the grace to accept HIS will, because often it is not the same as mine ... or at least it doesnt look like I thought it should look, but when it is HIS will Alone, that I have sought, I can rest in knowing that HE is working all things for my good.
I pray that there is something here for you sister. I will keep you in my prayers. God bless you and comfort you and lead you along the path of HIS perfect will.
In Christ,
Linda
Posts: 4684 | From: Southern Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: Jun 2002
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chestnutmare
Advanced Member
Member # 392
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posted
I have been unable to secure employment. I have been beating the bush so to speak trying to find a job that I am qualified for. I continue to receive rejection after rejection and am really getting discouraged. My husband has suggested that he will seek a divorce unless I am working and helping to support our household. He is acting very angry towards me and I am left feeling more and more discouraged. I am exhausted. I just don't know what to do except keep trying and trusting God with the answer. I know that christians are supposed to work and I truly desire employment. Its just not happening and I don't know why not. ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
Posts: 79 | From: Swanzey, NH | Registered: Sep 2002
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