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Author
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Topic: Dreams of old girlfriend
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Waterdog
Advanced Member
Member # 24
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posted
Has your wife always been this way, or is this something new, that she's not being physically affectionate now?
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So let us go forth to Him outside the camp (Heb 13:11-14)
 
Posts: 374 | From: Austin, TX | Registered: Jun 2002
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Miguel
Advanced Member
Member # 47
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posted
Student of Christ, remember that is not of you to change ones life even do that is our nature to do so. God never fails to His promises and if He said in His word that the righteous shall live “BY” “FAITH” (Christ) you shall live. I know is not easy one side only giving love but remember that He is faithful (Christ) to purify you and to take you from glory to glory..
![[Cross]](graemlins/cross.gif)
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Romans 9:11-24
Our Eschatology may vary even our Ecclesiology may be disputed among us but our Soteriology most assume a singularity and exclusivity which in biblical term is known as Quote; "The Narrow Way" and Quote!
Posts: 2792 | From: Stockton,Ca | Registered: Jun 2002
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StudentofChrist
New Member
Member # 574
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posted
Thank everyone very much for their insight!
One problem. Since I have taken the advice and put the old girlfriend behind me (as much as I can). I still have to deal with the wife's attitude toward me. This is where I stand.
My wife fails to show me any type of affection at all. When I try to kiss her she pushes away. This weekend we had the 4-5 year olds at Church. We took them to the playground and I sat on a bench. She came and sat at the other end of the bench. She never begins affections toward me. Never! We have had many discussions about this together. I have told her that I need this. We watch movies which show couples in love and I just get sick to my stomach! She doesn't understand what real love is! I just figured that out! I have been in love with her this whole time, but I think she considers this a marrige of convenience. I love my children very much and love everything about my life except my wife's love for me.
I honestly am at my wits end. I just can't see her and I growing old together. Am I just suppose to live in this loveless marriage forever?
I guess that's why I have been having these dreams about my highschool sweetheart recently. I want the type of love we had together once again.
I have prayed and prayed about it. I sometimes understand how God feels about our love for him. I just doesn't feel right forcing someone to love you. It has to be real. Does anyone out there understand my situation?
I just want to be in love again! With the other person contributing the other 50%!
God bless you all and thank you for your prayers!
Posts: 2 | Registered: Oct 2002
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Bryce
New Member
Member # 1522
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posted
I have experienced many a dream of an old girlfriend. I wasn't really saved until after college and there are a lot of memories from that period that Satan loves to throw in my face. My advice...when you awake from such a dream - PRAY IMMEDIATELY! I have spent too many days being drawn into cyclical thought patterns over some dream the night before. I give them to God now and I can handle the temptation to fantasize.
Remember these are just dreams. They can be powerful but you must choose your reality. Don't let the misty world of your REM sllep dictate your life's path.
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"It is not as a child that I believe and confess in Jesus Christ. My belief is born out of the furnace of doubt." - Fyodor Dostoevski
Posts: 5 | From: USA | Registered: May 2003
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chappy
Community Member
Member # 1469
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posted
hey i gotta say my two cents ha ha ha.....
the Holy Scriptures says: husbands, love your wives, even as christ also loved the church and gave himself for it EPHESIANS 5:25
AND FIRST PETER SAYS: LIKEWISE, YE HUSBANDS,DWELL WITH THEM ACCORDING TO KNOWLEDGE, GIVING HONOUR UNTO THE WIFE, AS UNTO THE WEAKER VESSEL, AND AS BEING HEIRS TOGETHER OF THE GRACE OF LIFE; THAT YOUR PRAYERS BE NOT HENDERED < >1 PETER 3:7
So you see not only is the devil trying to destory your marriage he is trying to steal your crown of life eternal and hender your prayers. this is the work of satan and he needs to be dealt with. even satan tried to tempt Jesus and what did Jesus say?..GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN FOR IT IS WRITTEN,... PRAISE GOD!!!! IT WAS ALREADY WRITTEN AND THE DEVIL KNEW THIS/
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IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS CHRIST, FATHER GOD, I COME AGAINST THE DEVIL BECAUSE IT IS WRITTEN: THOUGH I WALK IN THE MIDST OF TROUBLE, THOU WILT REVIVE ME, THOU SHALT STRETCH FORTH THINE HAND AGAINST THE WRATH OF MINE ENEMIES, AND THY RIGHT HAND SHALL SAVE ME. LORD I ASK THAT YOU KEEP THIS BROTHER FROM THE WILDS OF SATAN, KEEP HIS MIND CLEAN AND HIS THOUGHTS PURE AND YOUR HOLY SCRIPTURE IN HIS HEART THAT HE MIGHT NOT SIN AGANST THEE. GUARD HIS MIND, WHILE HE SLEEPS MINISTER TO HIM NIGHT AND DAY. THAT HE WILL SEE THE LOVE HE ![[angel3]](graemlins/angel3.gif) HAS FOR HIS FAMILY AND HIS WIFE BLOOM AS YOU INTENTED, FOR YOUR GLORY, IN JESUS NAME I THANK YOU AND GIVE YOU THE HONOUR AND PRAISE,... AMEN
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A caring heart,a listening ear,A thoughtful word,a gentle tear,Will help to lift the heavy load, Of weary souls along life's road.
Posts: 20 | From: ohio | Registered: May 2003
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my savior leads me
Advanced Member
Member # 1439
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posted
there was one thing that i neglected to mention yesterday that i noticed today. you said that you were convicted about it. conviction in most cases is the leading of the Holy Spirit. and if He is causing you to feel guilty or uncomfortable about it, need i say anything more.
Here is the scripture:
"Let not sin reignin your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof.
Neither yeild ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin:but yeild yourselves unto God as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God." Rom 6:12-13
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"For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord" Romans 6:23
Posts: 80 | From: usa | Registered: Apr 2003
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Gary
Advanced Member
Member # 523
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posted
My Savior Leads Me wrote:
quote:
the Lord would never give you thoughts that would cause you to be drawn away from your wife in any way shape or form. So you know where those thoughts are originating from.
You really hit the nail on the head!
Flee from the immorality!
BTW, I'm a grandpa, too. Our son and his wife presented us with a beautiful little granddaughter just over two years ago.
Gary
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"For the wages of sin is death,
but the free gift of God is eternal life
in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 6:23 NASB
Posts: 436 | From: Mankato, Minnesota | Registered: Oct 2002
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my savior leads me
Advanced Member
Member # 1439
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posted
If you are a married believer in the Lord Jesus Christ:
"So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church;
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh."Eph 6:28-31
Brother, i fear the adversary is decieving you in your dreams. pray that the Lord give you strength to be able to put these evil thoughts from your mind. the Lord would never give you thoughts that would cause you to be drawn away from your wife in any way shape or form. So you know where those thoughts are originating from.
Phil 2:5-8
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"For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord" Romans 6:23
Posts: 80 | From: usa | Registered: Apr 2003
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Herschel
Community Member
Member # 1480
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posted
I am retired military. Spent three years in Washington State at Fort Lewis in the Tacoma area. My Granddaughters Dad was born there. Washington State is the most beautiful place. I wanted to retire there, but it never worked out. (didn't have a job there) Guess I could have worked it out though.
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Opportunity is the doorway to success. Action (work)is the key that unlocks the door.
Posts: 16 | From: Monterey, LA | Registered: May 2003
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TEXASGRANDMA
Advanced Member
Member # 847
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posted
Nice to meet you Herschel. We are neighbors.
We have our house for sale and if it is God's will we plan to move to Washington State. Our son is already there. ![[biglaugha]](graemlins/biglaugha.gif)
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Luk 21:28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.
http://www.indieheaven.com/artists/mm (son-in-law)http://www.myspace.com/mireles
Posts: 4985 | From: Washington State | Registered: Jan 2003
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Herschel
Community Member
Member # 1480
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posted
TexasGrandma,
I am a Louisiana Grandpa. (My wife is also a TexasGrandma) how bout that.
A college education has nothing to do with wisdom. College is nothing but book learning. Wisdom is given of God. I would trade all the college degrees in the world for one teaspoon of Gods wisdom. Lets give God all the praise for his goodness. everybody clap your hands. ![[clap2]](graemlins/clap2.gif)
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Opportunity is the doorway to success. Action (work)is the key that unlocks the door.
Posts: 16 | From: Monterey, LA | Registered: May 2003
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Herschel
Community Member
Member # 1480
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posted
So many times, we think that just a little meeting, email, or lunch. It'll do no harm. She's an old friend whom I haven't seen for two, or, twenty years. (makes no difference) One thing leads to another and destruction sets in. Satan comes as an angel of light. Something beautiful, something wonderfully seductive, (and I don't necessarily mean sexual), sets his trap or snare and waits for us to stick our own foot in it. Our biggest problem is that we are so gullible. So "innocent" and trusting we don't see the trap.
But the key to avoiding these traps is knowing the Word of God. How can we know to "try the spirits to see if they be of God", when we don't even know the bible says to do that. We have to know that love is not some emotion, but is doing what is right for someone no matter how much we hate to do it. Love is not a funny feeling or "goose bumps" when we see that special someone. Love is an act we do for the good of someone else, or for ourself. If we give in to these lusts, rather than doing what we know to be right we are messing up big time.
If what we are about to do doesn't line up with what the Word would have you do, then do like Texas Grandma says and run as fast as you can.
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Opportunity is the doorway to success. Action (work)is the key that unlocks the door.
Posts: 16 | From: Monterey, LA | Registered: May 2003
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Miguel
Advanced Member
Member # 47
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by StudentofChrist:
I have recently been having dreams of my high school sweetheart. We are now both remarried and have children of our own. I keep thinking of her and dreaming almost nightly about her. I almost feel that she's thinking of me also. It's not a normal thought or dream. It's almost like a guiding thing. Really wierd! I have located her email address and am wondering if I should write her. I feel very convicted about this though since with both have other lives now. This could have to do with the fact my wife's love has left our relationship in my humble view. I'm praying for a solution, but as I do I think of her even more? Is this just in my head? Some biblical advice would be much appreciated.
quote:
Is this just in my head?
NO!
It is not in your head is in your heart and your heart is lusting again to fulfill the lust there off!
(Gen 6:5) And Jehovah saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.
(Pro 6:14) perversity is in his heart; he is always planning mischief; he causes fighting.
(Pro 6:18) a heart that plots wicked plans, feet hurrying to run to evil,
(Ecc 8:11) Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil.
(Ecc 9:3) This is an evil among all things that are done under the sun, that there is one event to all. Yea, also the heart of the sons of men is full of evil, and madness is in their heart while they live, and after that they go to the dead.
Jer 4:18 Your way and your doings have brought these things on you; this is your evil, because it is bitter, because it reaches to your heart.
Jer 17:5 So says Jehovah, Cursed is the man who trusts in man, and makes flesh his arm, and whose heart departs from Jehovah..
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Romans 9:11-24
Our Eschatology may vary even our Ecclesiology may be disputed among us but our Soteriology most assume a singularity and exclusivity which in biblical term is known as Quote; "The Narrow Way" and Quote!
Posts: 2792 | From: Stockton,Ca | Registered: Jun 2002
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TEXASGRANDMA
Advanced Member
Member # 847
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posted
Thanks Gary. I don't feel very smart. I have had only a little college. So your remarks, made me feel good.
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Luk 21:28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.
http://www.indieheaven.com/artists/mm (son-in-law)http://www.myspace.com/mireles
Posts: 4985 | From: Washington State | Registered: Jan 2003
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Gary
Advanced Member
Member # 523
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posted
Student,
WOW!
You've got to make like Joseph and RUN just as fast as you can away from this old sweetheart.
You've gotten GREAT advice from Lost and TexasGrandma. Nothing good can come from what you are doing. I know. I've been there. Abandon it.
TexasGrandma - That was beautiful! So much wisdom in so few words.
In Christ,
Gary
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"For the wages of sin is death,
but the free gift of God is eternal life
in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 6:23 NASB
Posts: 436 | From: Mankato, Minnesota | Registered: Oct 2002
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TEXASGRANDMA
Advanced Member
Member # 847
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posted
Sorry, one more thing. ALso pray that God will help your wife to fall in love with you also. He can bring a special healing and wonderous love to your home. ![[spiny]](graemlins/spiny.gif)
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Luk 21:28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.
http://www.indieheaven.com/artists/mm (son-in-law)http://www.myspace.com/mireles
Posts: 4985 | From: Washington State | Registered: Jan 2003
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TEXASGRANDMA
Advanced Member
Member # 847
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posted
I would pray that God will help you stop having dreams about this girl. Remember God would never lead you to leave your wife for someone else. God can also help you to fall in love with your wife all over again. ![[Cool]](cool.gif)
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Luk 21:28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.
http://www.indieheaven.com/artists/mm (son-in-law)http://www.myspace.com/mireles
Posts: 4985 | From: Washington State | Registered: Jan 2003
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Lost
Advanced Member
Member # 343
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posted
my advice... do not contact her!! in my opinion nothing good can come of this except heartache for either you, the ex, or the wife. and if you have kids then really don't even pursue this line of reasoning any longer. if you feel as if the love in your marriage has left, then do the responsible thing and focus on your wife and work to save your marriage instead of fantasizing about what may have been. frankly, it's too late for that. please remember that marriage is a lot of work. it's not all about feelings of love but fulfilling a commitment that you've made to your spouse to love her forever through sickness and through health and through the whole nine yards.
read 2 Samuel 11. realize that i'm sure david did not intend that night to commit adultery nor intend that night to commit murder. but how did it start? in the time when kings should have gone out to war, david stayed at home. and he went up to walk around on his roof. and david saw a woman bathing. i don't believe david, a man after God's own heart, just saw her and that was it. i'm sure he probably looked away initially, but as he entertained the thought in his mind, that's when he went back for that second look... and third... and finally he asks one of his men who she was. they told him that she was married to uriah the hittite, but at that point david, the king, had entertained the thought for so long that he was set on this path for destruction no matter what warning flags God put in his way (i.e. she's married chief so technically that's adultery... one of the big ten!!). so david went and did the deed anyway thinking no one would find out. but bathsheeba got pregnant. then david tried to cover it up but his plans failed and he had her husband killed. this ended up destroying the lives of his children as we subsequently read through the life of david. the take home message here is that if he had done what he was supposed to have done (i.e. gone to battle) and also if he had not entertained the thought, then potentially all this harm to his family and hers could have been spared.
we were going through the life of david study in our men's ministry. one of the guys in our group really identified with that passage. the love, in his opinion, had gone out of his marriage and he was complaining about it to a female colleague who felt the same way. as the thought was entertained and as time passed, he ended up committing adultery with this colleague. his wife divorced him, the colleague got divorced from her husband, it ruined the lives of his colleagues' kids. there were no winners. just like with david. so brother, please put those thoughts to rest now and don't pursue it any longer. and don't think that you can just be friends or that it won't happen to you. "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?" (Jer 17:9). this is just a warning from a brother who has never been there, but have talked to many who have.
Proverbs 5:15-23
"Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well. Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be only your own, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love. For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, and be embraced in the arms of a seductress? For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and He ponders all his paths. His own iniquities entrap the wicked man, and he is caught in the cords of his sin. He shall die for lack of instruction, and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray."
i know it's not easy, but doing the right thing usually isn't. it's part of living in a sin-cursed world. please be strong my brother. i will be supporting you through prayer.
lost
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The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!" And let him who hears say, "Come!" Whoever is thirsty, let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life. - Rev 22:17
Posts: 115 | From: Los Angeles/San Diego, CA | Registered: Aug 2002
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StudentofChrist
New Member
Member # 574
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posted
I have recently been having dreams of my high school sweetheart. We are now both remarried and have children of our own. I keep thinking of her and dreaming almost nightly about her. I almost feel that she's thinking of me also. It's not a normal thought or dream. It's almost like a guiding thing. Really wierd! I have located her email address and am wondering if I should write her. I feel very convicted about this though since with both have other lives now. This could have to do with the fact my wife's love has left our relationship in my humble view. I'm praying for a solution, but as I do I think of her even more? Is this just in my head? Some biblical advice would be much appreciated.
Posts: 2 | Registered: Oct 2002
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