|
Author
|
Topic: abuse in mariage
|
New_to_the_path
New Member
Member # 1065
|
posted
OK now I've read all the replys that other people have left you. You tried counseling...well if she refuses to go then obviously she doesn't want it to work. Coming from an abusive relationship, and a divorced family...its hard to say what you should do...Personally I wouldn't work to make the relationship last because she's not doing her part.
Border personality...thats funny because Borderlines do just the opposite of abuse...they try to please everyone because they are afraid of rejection. Here are a few links to Borderline personality ok, I could be wrong cause its been some time since I've done research into the topic.
BPD
Border Line Personality Disorder
Internet Mental Disorders (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Research Foundation On Borderline Personality Disorder
these are just a few so...remember everyone has something different to say about one topic..so get all the info for yourself and draw your own conclusion...your in my prayers.
--------------------
Remember to testify about the Lord everyday...and when ya have to..use words
Posts: 4 | From: Missouri | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged | 
|
|
New_to_the_path
New Member
Member # 1065
|
posted
I want to pick my words carefully because I don't know the whole story and thats always a dangerous thing to do...to talk about something when you don't know the whole story..but thats just me. First off...I'm 19 years old...and I've been in an abusive relationship before...so I know how you feel. First off, in Marriage God says it is a 50 50 relationship. Which means that for as much as you love her, she should love you..you should respect each other and treat each other the same. God doesn't want any of his children in an abusive relationship.
I am reading the Student's Life Application Bible from the New Living Translation and here is what I found.
Proverbs 5: 15-21 Read it...it is directed to the husband but it should go both ways.
*cringes* and this is where I get mad at my bible. I tried to look up Abuse in the index...and it had nothing... Well. Personally sweety God doesn't want anyone to stay in an abusive relationship. If this woman is God fearing...and loves you as much as you love her...then she will seek help and you guys can work through it. But be careful because many people will talk the talk but wont walk the walk. No one deserves to be treated so badly by the person that is suppose to love them. The wife should obey the husband and the husband should obey the wife, giving unto each other that which is due. Its a give and take, you should know that, but love does make you semi blind *remembers Jason and chris* those were my two abusers. You'll find the bible is one sided in this issue because its normally the man who does the abusing...not the woman...but that isn't to say its not possible. I wish you the best of luck and I hope I helped out a little...My heart was in the right place. I'll be praying for you my dear.
--------------------
Remember to testify about the Lord everyday...and when ya have to..use words
Posts: 4 | From: Missouri | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
Chesed
New Member
Member # 1045
|
posted
"Reasons for the abuse? was she raised in an abusive home? How could allow the abuse?
I am against any abusive situation, but there has to be reasons for it.Did you know or get the sense before you were married, that she was abusive? Children? are they in danger from this abuse?
Some major counselling is in order here, and should be sought before any ideas of divorce are entertained. Seek help and possibly help for the children, and seek in prayer.
Talk to your Church pastor, if you have one. If you don't find a Church.
God Bless you
Joel"
Joel,
Reasons for abuse? I don't know if there's a reason for abuse. But I think I know what you mean.
I believe she's been throught hyper trauma in her past since she was a child. I've tried to get her to counseling, but she's refused strongly. Cutting to the quick, I have read that her symptoms are similar to Borderline Personality Disorder. It almost describes her behavior to a "T". I don't think the children are in danger. I would have acted on that immediately if I felt that way.
Posts: 5 | From: Ohio | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
Chesed
New Member
Member # 1045
|
posted
Thank you for your reply. Is there any Scriptural reference on what your pastor said? I would like to study it. Thanks again!
Posts: 5 | From: Ohio | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
njclary
unregistered
|
posted
Chesed; please note a reply on the prayer board, it was placed there by my mistake.[ I guess] It was meant for you, here.
I am concerned for you and your situation, and pray that some fruit will be bourne through our ministrations.
God Bless
Joel
IP: Logged |
|
|
TEXASGRANDMA
Advanced Member
Member # 847
|
posted
My pastor says that divorce is allowed for abuse.
He says that God does not expect a person to live in abusive suitution. I have not lived in that but my sister did and I told her to get out before he killed her. Remember women kill husband just like men kill women. I am not telling to get a divorce but don't let anyone make you put your life in danger by making you feel you have to go back.
--------------------
Luk 21:28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.
http://www.indieheaven.com/artists/mm (son-in-law)http://www.myspace.com/mireles
Posts: 4985 | From: Washington State | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
Chesed
New Member
Member # 1045
|
posted
Thank you for your reply. No, I am not making any moves as far as a divorce is concerned. Although she has expressed that she would be seeking a divorce. I also know that all things are possible through Christ. So the difference between what she says and what God says are infinite. Now I also know she needs to be willing and no one can make her do anything. Knowing all this, I'm just waiting. It's in God's Hands, that's all I know.
Resting in His Peace,
Che'sed
Posts: 5 | From: Ohio | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
Sojourner
Advanced Member
Member # 19
|
posted
As long as your wife doesn't divorce you, there is a chance of reconciliation. God can change your wife. Meanwhile, you can do things to show her you still love her, heaping coals of fire on her head. You can pray for her and the situation. You know the Bible does not say you can divorce for the reason of physical/mental abuse, only adultery or if a non-Christian wants to leave to let them leave. However, if you are endangered by being with her, separation, I think, is right where you should be.
Posts: 276 | From: CA, U.S.A. | Registered: Jun 2002
| IP: Logged |
|
|
Chesed
New Member
Member # 1045
|
posted
Thank you for your reply and prayers, Grandma
I would like to continue to hear from the Body. Thanks a bunch!
In Christ,
Che-sed
Posts: 5 | From: Ohio | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
TEXASGRANDMA
Advanced Member
Member # 847
|
posted
I do not believe that God intents for anyone to be in abusive marriage, whether that person is male or female. If your wife will not change or cannot change then I believe that you are allowed to end your marriage and begin again. But you should seek God's guidance before you end your marriage. But I would not move back in the house unless God tells you to. I will pray for you and your wife. God Bless you.
--------------------
Luk 21:28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.
http://www.indieheaven.com/artists/mm (son-in-law)http://www.myspace.com/mireles
Posts: 4985 | From: Washington State | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
Chesed
New Member
Member # 1045
|
posted
I am in a situation right now where my wife and I are separated. I left the home after five years of an abusive relation both mental and physical. I am at the point where I don't want to return to the house until I am sure things have changed there. There was no cheating on my part involved or any of the common things that men leave their wives for.
I knonw what the Bible says about marriage and my role as a husband. However, what about abuse in the relation? Do I stay and take it? I doubt that God would have me do that...I need some insight from the Body on this issue. Thank you in advanced.
Posts: 5 | From: Ohio | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
Printer-friendly view of this topic
