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Author
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Topic: Troubling thoughts, please help! (long)
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njclary
unregistered
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posted
JUSTME!! Please hear me! PLEASE! there is great confusion, bitterness, misconceptions, hurt, and terrible sadness in your posts.
I needed to jump in here and plead with you, find help. Look for help near you. and please get in contact with Bearer. I Hope you have already, but if you haven't, please do.
I know about your condition more that you could know. I have faced it with some who were very close to me. At first I did not recognize the situation and I almost lost someone who is so dear to me. But I did finally see the tragedy happening , and was able to intervene. All is well now but it took professional intervention to set things on balance again.
PLEASE JUSTME! FIND SOME HELP< RIGHT NOW
God Bless you,
Joel
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Miguel
Advanced Member
Member # 47
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posted
Psa 42:1 As the hart panteth after the water brooks, So panteth my soul after thee, O God.
Psa 73:25 Whom have I in heaven but thee? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides thee.
Psa 119:10 With my whole heart have I sought thee: Oh let me not wander from thy commandments.
Psa 37:3 Trust in Jehovah, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on his faithfulness.
Psa 37:4 Delight thyself also in Jehovah; And he will give thee the desires of thy heart.
Psa 37:5 Commit thy way unto Jehovah; Trust also in him, and he will bring it to pass.
Psa 37:6 And he will make thy righteousness to go forth as the light, And thy justice as the noon-day.
Psa 37:7 Rest in Jehovah, and wait patiently for him: Fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, Because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.
Psa 37:8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: Fret not thyself, it tendeth only to evil-doing.
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Romans 9:11-24
Our Eschatology may vary even our Ecclesiology may be disputed among us but our Soteriology most assume a singularity and exclusivity which in biblical term is known as Quote; "The Narrow Way" and Quote!
Posts: 2792 | From: Stockton,Ca | Registered: Jun 2002
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Caretaker
Advanced Member
Member # 36
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posted
To justme;
Please know that you are so very precious, and so very much loved. No written words nor spoken thoughts can ever reveal the depths of God's love for each one of His children. Please know that though we only know you as a nick-name, and the words which you type, that with the love of God in our hearts we see a very precious child of God on the other end of the internet, and a truly precious one who is so in pain and wounded deep within their soul.
I am a grandpa, and there is nothing more precious to this old heart then to hear the patter of little feet, and to hear the word, pawpa coming from those little voices. If I who am so flawed, and imperfect can love my precious grandbabies without condition, and can take such overwhelming joy in their glorious little faces and joyous hearts, how much more joy can my Abba Father in Heaven feel towards His precious children, and how much greater is His perfect love?
Precious one please know that though we do not know the hurts you feel and the wounds which you have experienced, please know that you are in our hearts with love unconditional, and you are in our most fervent prayers. Your Brothers and Sisters are here for you.
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A Servant of Christ,
Drew
1 Tim. 3:
16: And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness: God was manifest in the flesh..
Posts: 3978 | From: Council Grove, KS USA | Registered: Jun 2002
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Sojourner
Advanced Member
Member # 19
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posted
First of all, I want you to know that I'm praying for you.
If I said I believe the world is flat - does that make it so?
You may believe that feelings have not affected your
rationality, but I know from personal experience with
deep depression that it does.
The devil can plant thoughts in a person's mind (John 13:2), although he is not omniscient (I Kings 8:39). But
he is the father of lies, and it sounds as though you've
been listening to him. Elijah, after a great triumph on
Mount Carmel, where he showed the prophets of Baal how great and powerful God was, fled from a queen
who threatened his life, sat under a juniper tree and
asked God to let him die. His feelings obviously colored his point of view.
May I suggest something? Can you try praying, "Lord
I feel like giving up, but I'm trusting just for today that
with Your help, I will make it through."?
A man named William Cowper was convinced in his
mind that he was eternally damned, although he had
a conversion experience and showed every sign of
having good doctrine. He attempted a number of times
to commit suicide, but each time, God prevented him
from being successful at it. For instance, he tried to
hang himself, but before he was totally assphyxiated,
the hanging implemention broke. God does watch out
over His own.
Do you truly love Him? You need to trust Him. He is
the only one trustworthy continuously. II Timothy 2:13:
"If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot
deny Himself." You need to take every thought captive
to the obedience of Christ. God's Word gives you the
kind of discernment you need to test your thoughts and feelings. (Hebrews 4:12).
What is the family trouble you spoke of? Do you have
a good pastor you can go to for counseling? Have you
considered getting professional help? Do you have any
close friends who can try to encourage you and also be there with you?
Posts: 276 | From: CA, U.S.A. | Registered: Jun 2002
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Daughter-of-The-King
Advanced Member
Member # 663
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posted
hey justme,
i'm sorry that i don't have a good verse to share or a word to say that you're not alone. by no means am i telling you this to say i undrestand. i know nothing about you out side of the fact that we have the same Dad. but you are only as alone as you make yourself. i have a story to share with you. i was saved at a very young age. when i got into high school my life at home was a reck. i ended up with a mind that wouldn't shut up. i always heard horrid things about me. to make it short, i scratched, carved, burned, and hated my body. to make my voices shut up i took hand fulls of pain killers at a time. i had sex with my boy friend because it was another way to hurt me, it brought pain to my heart and soul, the places my knife and lighter wouldn't reach. i daily wrote suicide notes, list of people with what things of mine they could have, why they would be better off if i wasn't here, and why it would be better if i was never born. i wouldn't talk to God because i didn't think He should want to talk to me. the night i had enough i smashed every thing in me room, carved a key phrase in my fore arm, took 21 pain killers, and cried harder than i ever had before. i just wanted to die. i didn't have the strength to swallow the 22nd pill and fell on my bed and cried for hours. when my best friend heard what i did she said, "you need help bad, oh! i have to tell you about the game i played last night!" i found that when you fall rock bottem, you fall on The Rock. i'm telling you this so you can see that you're not alone. i'm telling you this so you see God has a plan. He'll let you rip yourself apart so He can rebuild you. shortly after this He brought a man into my life. the only person i would listen to because he had scars like i did. justme, tell the demons to shut up. they have no rights to you but the ones you give them. fall on The Rock. your power in Christ is stronger than them. you just have to decide to take it back. bind the evil and bash it with the stick of God, you've been bought and these thoughts have no right in your mind. if God only wanted something to praise Him he would have stopped at the angels and would have saved Himself the trip down here. God wanted some thing to love that would love Him back. when Job cursed the day he was born he still trusted in God and he got back much for it. your life means some thing to the Body of Christ and to your Creater even if it means nothing to you. fall on The Rock. ![[Cross]](graemlins/cross.gif)
Posts: 29 | From: Texas | Registered: Nov 2002
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CRfan
Community Member
Member # 20
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posted
Hi,
I am sorry you are feeling discouraged and depressed.
I would ask you to re-examine your view of God and your relationship with Him.
If you truly have felt the peace and love and joy of God, then you would know that life is worth living because of Him no matter what misery you face. If I didn't have God, then I would feel that my life is worthless too. I have fibromyalgia, and I can't do a lot of things that I would like to do. Many things have happened in my family that are very stressful. I have felt depressed and discouraged, and yet I have a hope in God that is strong. He gives us grace and strength for one day at a time.
It is easy to feel sorry for myself, but God has given me the opportunity to be friends with and pray for many people on the internet. God makes life worthwhile for me...and He could for you as well.
Job could have ended his life when he faced numerous trials that I couldn't imagine facing. God many times has allowed His people to be tested, but that doesn't mean that He is heartless and doesn't care. When His children are tested, He definitely has a purpose. Job's faith grew stronger, and he also was blessed big time with more family and possessions. Joseph was tested big time. He was sold into slavery, put into prison for a crime he didn't commit, forgotten by the people he helped there. Maybe you feel like that.
But remember what God did for him. God was preparing Joseph to save the lives of his family and eventually a Savior would come from that family. God does not force love and obedience on people. He calls us to love and obedience. He is patient. That is not a bad thing. What would love and obedience from us mean if we had been robots? Yes, God does have ultimate control, but He has a design and a plan that you cannot see. People chose and choose evil, but He directs it to the ultimate good for those who love Him. Those of us who belong to Him will one be with Him in Heaven. I personally look forward to that. Murder is a wrong choice. Please seek counsel from a good pastor or Christian counselor. Are you going to a good church? Whatever you're going through, running away isn't the answer. If you know and love Christ, then start looking in His Word, seek help, and stop trying to play God. That is what you're doing. You are saying that you know better than God, and you want to be in control. There can only be one God. I love God so much that I want everyone to know and love Him that I come into contact with. Search your heart. Do you really know and belong to Him? Read the Psalms. God is our ever present help in time of trouble for sure.
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CRfan
Posts: 16 | From: CA, U.S.A. | Registered: Jun 2002
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Kindgo
Advanced Member
Member # 2
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posted
hey justme, please know I am praying for you!
Don't let satan have the victory over you, Jesus loves you, He will turn everything to the good for those who love Him. Before you do anything please talk to us here. There are mighty prayer warriors here. We can help you. Right now people all over the country are praying for you.
Whats so bad, that Jesus can't fix it?
One of these days you will be walking on streets of gold....don't give up. You are being attacked by satan, rebuke him, call on the Lord Jesus, He will fix it all!
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God bless,
Kindgo
Inside the will of God there is no failure. Outside the will of God there is no success.
Posts: 4320 | From: Sunny Florida | Registered: Jun 2002
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justme
Community Member
Member # 674
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posted
Thanks for the replies, but... well, where do I even start? My life is so messed up... mostly stemming from family problems. I have decided that I want to end it. I know life is the Lord's to give and to take away, but since I didn't even ask to be born, I feel that the least amount of free will that I should have a right to is death. God's always been there for me, and I'm thankful for that, but I'm sick of it all. Please don't tell me I can get through this stressful time or that there's light at the end of the tunnel. Actually, there is nothing in particular stressing me out right now, and I know there is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm not emotionally blinded. I've thought about this a long time and I just don't care for life anymore, even with Jesus. If I lose rewards in heaven, that's ok. If someone declines $100,000,000, isn't it their right to do so? What's so tragic about it, if they understand, and it's their choice?
And it won't help to tell me to think about all that he's done for me and how much he loves me, etc. Part of the point of my first post was that if he never created us in the first place, he would not have had to suffer and do all those things for us anyways.
In the case that God will take away my salvation, that's fine too b/c I'd rather not be with a God who would be so tyrannical. Yes, I'd rather burn in hell than be with a God who'd condemn me for not being able to stand my life. I just wish I were never born.
Posts: 11 | From: maryland | Registered: Nov 2002
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JCisGOD
Community Member
Member # 698
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posted
I just have one thing to say , the battle is in the mind. Please go in prayer ask the Lord God to show you who he really is and his purpose for your life. God bless. ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
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Romans 1:16 - For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.
salvation... is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory.
--2 Timothy 2:10
Posts: 14 | From: GLENDALE,CA | Registered: Nov 2002
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Miguel
Advanced Member
Member # 47
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posted
Welcome Justme
When all this come to mind give glory, if the enemy uses this thoughts to bring doubt, hey give glory. He only has but a little season and THEN HOME my brother HOME with the Lord.
Be patience and we will see that day whether dead or alive we will see it.
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Romans 9:11-24
Our Eschatology may vary even our Ecclesiology may be disputed among us but our Soteriology most assume a singularity and exclusivity which in biblical term is known as Quote; "The Narrow Way" and Quote!
Posts: 2792 | From: Stockton,Ca | Registered: Jun 2002
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Sojourner
Advanced Member
Member # 19
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posted
Hello justme and welcome to the board! I understand your frustration because I have had similar frustration myself. Just recently, I have been questioning the purpose of my life. I became disabled last year and am no longer able to handle the stress of a regular job. I have applied for social security as my state disability ran out and I find myself wondering- what is it I'm here for?
First of all God loves Himself- but He is the One most entitled to do so- wouldn't you agree? He's perfect in every way- flawless and beautiful, all-powerful and glorious.
Secondly, God is good- we need to believe that and not question His character- He wants our best & plans it. Jeremiah 29:11 He has determined all our days before there was one of them. Psalm 139:16 We are created for good works prepared for us to walk in. Ephesians 2:10 All things work together for good to those that love the Lord Romans 8:28 He Who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it. Phillipians 1:6 It is the Father's good pleasure to give us the Kingdom. Luke 12:32
Thirdly, we are loved with an everlasting love that we cannot be separated from. Romans 8:37-39 God will freely give us all things. Romans 8:32 We have been blessed in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. Ephesians 1:3 "In love He predestined us to adoption as sons throuh Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will," Ephesian 1:4b-5 See also John 17:25-26.
Fourthly, Christ desires that His joy will be made full in us- John 17:13, John 15:11
Fifthly, God guards us- John 17:12 and gives us eternal life and will not let any of His own be snatched out of His hand. John 10:28-29
Sixthly, The Holy Spirit is our Helper. John 14:26 God is our shelter from the storms of life Psalm 91, Isaiah 43:1-5
Seventhly, God gives us peace not as the world gives John 14:27 God is our Comforter and strengthens and protects us. II Thess. 2:16-17, II Thess. 3:3
Eightly, We should be glad God loves Himself so much that He wanted to portray the display of His love and mercy He did towards us. And He paid a big price for it too- Jesus agonized over it in the garden, He cried out on the cross when the Father, Whom He had been with from eternity past had to turn His back on Him for Christ became sin for us to accomplish the sacrifice and take the punishment necessary to appease the justice of a most Holy God. He did that for us, justme.
Ninthly, knowing all of this, how can we complain, murmuring about our lot in life? And we do have the choice to obey or not to obey- to live a joyous life or to live the life of a Christian miserable because of not obeying. Where would we be without God?
I recommend you check out this website:
http:www//desiringGod.org
Try the series on Christian hedonism.
Try the series entitled The Pleasures of God.
You'll be blessed if you listen with an open heart!
May God bless you,
Sojourner
Posts: 276 | From: CA, U.S.A. | Registered: Jun 2002
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justme
Community Member
Member # 674
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posted
I have no doubt about the fact that Christ is my savior. I have seen evidence in my life that God is a true and living God. I know the peace and joy that comes with being a child of God, and that this peace can’t be found anywhere else in the world. He has done many good things for me, and I’ve testified to my friends about these things. It was exciting, and while others searched for the meaning of life, I knew I had found it.
After a while, I started thinking about our existence. The reason that we are alive is to serve God and to enjoy our relationship with him. But this led to thoughts that God must be a narcissistic egomaniac. He created the universe to worship and obey him. The entire bible from Genesis to Revelations can be seen as a power-trip, ending in a climactic finale with him reigning over all. But surely he’s not a tyrant, because he gave us free will, but did he really? If we obey him, that’s good, but if we don’t, that’s sin. Because all sin has consequences, you have to either obey him or pay the price. I don’t think that true free will involves coercion. Also, regarding the omniscience of God... if he knows everything we’re going to do in our lives, doesn’t that essentially mean our lives are predestined? Even the bible refers to Judas and the antichrist of Revelations as “sons of perdition”, meaning doomed to destruction. They were doomed to their fate before they came into the world. I feel that we are all destined to our own fate. We are actors, playing roles that have been scripted by God. In the bible, there are times when God changes his mind about certain things, but being omniscient, he would have already known what was going to happen. He is himself playing the role as an actor in his own play. Perhaps by “changing his mind” when someone makes a request of him, he is encouraging his people to come to him in prayer.
Though I’ve previously mentioned God as appearing to be a narcissistic egomaniac, this only applies by human logic and standards, and these do not apply to him. Even if he were a God who created people only to torture them, it wouldn’t be wrong, because he is God and it’s his prerogative. Yet there is something unsettling about the infallibility of God and his justice, which is the fact that I exist. It is said that life is a gift from God, but I never asked to be born. I exist involuntarily. By having been created, this gift has been forced upon me, as I play my role in life. Regardless of how good life in Christ can be, I never asked to be created and it doesn't seem right that I am forced to live my existence.
Posts: 11 | From: maryland | Registered: Nov 2002
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