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Author
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Topic: my side of the story
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Caretaker
Advanced Member
Member # 36
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posted
Continuing in heart and prayer.
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A Servant of Christ,
Drew
1 Tim. 3:
16: And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness: God was manifest in the flesh..
Posts: 3978 | From: Council Grove, KS USA | Registered: Jun 2002
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MentorsRiddle
Advanced Member
Member # 2108
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posted
Oh, my....
I thought I was going through troubled times...
I'll pray for you and your family.
I just don't know what to say...
I'm so sorry.
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With you I rise,
In you I sleep,
kneeling down I kiss your feet,
Grace abounds upon me now,
I once was lost
but now I'm found.
The gift of God dwells within,
To this love I now give in.
Posts: 1337 | From: Arkansas | Registered: Sep 2003
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Carol Swenson
Admin
Member # 6929
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posted
honeybee4u
Dear one, my heart aches for you. You need to devote your thoughts and efforts to serving Christ, and let Him deal with your situation. Trust Him.
Posts: 6787 | From: Colorado | Registered: Dec 2007
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honeybee4u
New Member
Member # 8176
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posted
I am writing this letter not out of malice or anger towards Matthew because it has come to my attention that Matthew is giving a very biased one sided story to people regarding our family situation.
When Matthew asked for a divorce last year I never thought that I would be in this devastating and degrading position. I also never in my wildest dreams would ever have thought that I would have to forcibly be separated from my children. When Matthew asked for the divorce, shortly after this he was dismissed from his job, and soon after, we were evicted from our home. This in itself was very distressing as it left me with three very life changing and distressing decisions to make regarding myself and my children. Because of the longstanding abusive nature of our marriage it led me to sever depression and my doctor strongly advised me that I needed a two week break at least to recover otherwise I would have had a nervous breakdown. He did supply a doctors certificate to this effect.
Matthew implied and continues to claim that I "deserted" my children which I definitely did not do. I stayed with my parents for two weeks to recover. In the interim of those two weeks Matthew told me that he had found a place for himself and the children under the church's care and provision, not caring or asking where I would go. He wrongly assumed that I had made plans to go and live with my parents when in reality it was not an option at the time since they live in a very small 2 bedroom flat and only live on a state pension and cant afford to keep me let alone my 3 children and myself.
With no other option my children and I had to move in with my parents, as Matthew did not tell me exactly what his plans for accommodation regarding him and the children were. This was a very distressing financial time as the courts could not make a ruling to give me any kind of rehabilitative maintenance since Matthew kept saying he was unemployed and had no money . He did supply a few items of food in the beginning but has not given me a cent for personal items or food for the children saying we had a shared responsibility and that I had to find a job, which is fair enough but cant be done overnight as I had no access to a car or computer and no money, I was literally left destitute. From the date of eviction the 26th march 2010 to this day have not received any money from Matthew except in april when I received a grand total of R250 and havent received a single cent since, which is putting a tremendous financial burden on my parents.
Because Matthew was was not contributing any money at all I had to make the most heart wrenching and devastating choice that any mother should ever have to make and that was to let my kids go and live with their dad because he was being supported by friends and the church, and I had no support at all. I repeat that I at no time have i ever deserted my children or "dumped" them as Matthew likes to put it.
Through a friends compassion she let me have use of her laptop to update my CV and send it to various recruitment agencies and I have been for one interview with no success.
In reality my life has hit rock bottom I have lost my marriage, I have lost my home, Matthew has furniture in storage, and most devasting of all in a sense I have lost my children.
For seven years I was a good wife and a stay at home mother caring for my family and in a blink of an eye it has been taken away from me. The cruel part of this whole debacle is that because Matthew has assistance from the church and various friends and I unfortunately don't , this is the reason Matthew has the children and I don't and I cant see them as much as i would like to because of financial reasons.
I have asked Matthew on many occasions to supply food and treats so the children can spend a full day with me and their grandparents instead of just a few hours now and again when it suits him. As he mentions time and again the kids are a shared responsibility which is between him and I and not my parents responsibility. I have not had the luxury of assistance from anyone as Matthew has. It is heartbreaking to only have the kids for a couple of hours at a time because there simply are no treats or extras for my children, what Matthew can't seem to grasp is that a state pension which is all my parent get is a meagre R1000 a month with no extra income.
Once again this is not out of malice and spite but the truth and reality of my situation.
Posts: 4 | From: south africa | Registered: Jun 2010
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