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Author
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Topic: Please pray for me - boyfriend problems
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Betty Louise
Advanced Member
Member # 7175
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posted
I don't think it is unfair of you to ask for him to tell you whether he is serious or not. You should be free to date others if he is not able to commit to a relationship. If you spend some time apart, he may realize how important you are to him. If he doesn't then you are better off knowing now instead of tying up years to someone who may never be able to commit.
I will gladly pray for God to guide you both.
betty
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Luk 21:28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.
Posts: 5051 | From: Houston, Texas | Registered: May 2008
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dianajune
New Member
Member # 7542
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posted
I am fairly new to this board and this will be my second post. I'm born again and have been doing my best to follow the Lord, and while I have been making progress in some areas, I'm having problems in others.
Trust has always been a big issue for me because I've been burned so many times over the years. Not only regarding family, but friends and others as well. My boyfriend Bob is a good example of this.
Bob is a decent, kind, loving, God-fearing man. I've seen him at church many times over the past several months and we started dating in the fall after we both volunteered for a special project at church.
We have grown closer over the past several months and he hasn't even kissed me yet. Not a problem, as I am willing to wait. I'm blessed in that Bob hasn't attempted to rush into a physical relationship, which is good as there's a time and a place for that. We have held hands and hugged. We've been doing alot together - attending church, having meals together, going shopping, etc. I've gotten to know his father and other members of his family, and he's gotten to know my dad and several of my relatives.
The other day I said to Bob it feels like we're getting closer than ever, which he acknowledged was true. Not long after we started dating he told me that he didn't want to rush our relationship, but when he reached the point where he could say "I love you" I could take it to the bank. In other words, that he'd mean it.
I'm wondering if he really does. Bob has told me three times during this past week that he loves me. However, a couple of days ago we had a disagreement over the possibility of his ex-girlfriend spending at least part of this past weekend in his apartment (along with their son, who is 17). This is someone that he knew prior to his salvation. One of Bob's other sons from a previous marriage informed him that he may have company. Bob wasn't very pleased about this unexpected intrusion, and thought that they were originally only coming for Christmas dinner. I drove Bob back to his house after we got the news and he was speculating as to where they'd be staying. He seemed resigned to the possibility that they would have to stay at his place but in a different room.
Anyway, I was very upset and told him I didn't think it was appropriate for her to be staying at his place, even if it was in a different room. I left his house feeling quite angry. So, I emailed my Pastor about this.
Before church yesterday my Pastor and I happened to arrive at the same time and I asked him if he saw my email. Well, my Pastor was under the impression that my email was about a talk that he had with Bob. Pastor hasn't had a chance to check his email for awhile, and I didn't call because oftentimes I can't get through that way.
Bob apparently called the Pastor with concerns about our relationship after this incident. The day after that incident, I went back to Bob's house and apologized for feeling angry and jealous, although I still believe it would have been inappropriate for that woman to stay at his place, under the circumstances. She ended up going home the same night and didn't stay for long.
Bob didn't tell me about the talk he had with our Pastor. I understand the need to seek Godly advice, but why is Bob contradicting himself? According to our Pastor, Bob thinks we're going too fast and that my feelings for him are stronger than his are for me.
Does Bob love me or doesn't he??? Why didn't he say anything about his conversation with our Pastor??? I'm beginning to think that this is just another guy after all who is into mind games. I just don't need it, with all of my health and financial problems I've been having as of late. After my last relationship, I asked the Lord to take away my desire for another companion if I couldn't get a decent, God-fearing man who knows how to treat women.
I'd rather stay alone than to go through this torment. I don't know where I stand with Bob. I haven't heard from him since I talked with him a few days ago. He never showed up for church yesterday. I'm hurt, angry and don't know what to do. I'm reluctant to return to church as I don't want to be hurt all over again. What should I do? Why would he say "I love you" and then turn around and say such things to our Pastor?
I would appreciate any prayers about this matter. Thank you!
Posts: 2 | From: Pulaski, NY | Registered: Dec 2008
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