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Author
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Topic: Need a fresh start.
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helpforhomeschoolers
Advanced Member
Member # 15
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posted
Praise God! What wonderful news. I am so glad you are feeling better. I think if I had been smart enough to have had God for a business partner, I might still be in business. For years, I tried to keep God in a box. I learned that he must be a part of every nook and crany of you life. Please keep us posted; We will keep praying and for your brother too.
Posts: 4684 | From: Southern Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: Jun 2002
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Back for more
Community Member
Member # 857
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posted
Hi Linda,
I liked your comment "What God leads us to... He also leads us through." Actually, I know this sounds cliche' but, I feel that I have taken on a new business partner, The Lord, and he certainly has broader shoulders and more clout than anyone else I could pick. I know its only been a couple of days since I first seeked advice here, but I truly feel that a large weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I think I was trying to gain control of way too many things outside my grasp.
On a positive note, my brother appears to have strung a few decent days in a row together and seams alot more upbeat than usual, and I happened to run into a developer yesterday and he encouraged me to bid on a project he was expanding. I also closed a couple of sales I have been working on for a few weeks. I have also been able to let the bad news roll off my back like nothing ( My business insurance carrier, dropped me after 6+ years and only 2 claims, both under $2000 dollars for being in the homebuilding/construction industry and for frequency of claims(unbelievable) and my accountant sold his business and left town without a peep to any of his clients.) Anyway I trust the Lord will see us through all these things, and if things don't work out, I am sure it is only because He has bigger and better things in mind. I really appreciate everyones prayers and kind thoughts.
God Bless
Randy
Posts: 10 | Registered: Jan 2003
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helpforhomeschoolers
Advanced Member
Member # 15
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posted
Hi Randy:
I am so glad you joined us. I hope you'll stay a while. As I read your story; I thought of Moses and how he was so burdened by the responsibility of the Israelites, that he asked God why he asked God to take his very life (now that is distress!!!)
Numbers11:11 And Moses said unto the LORD, Wherefore hast thou afflicted thy servant? and wherefore have I not found favour in thy sight, that thou layest the burden of all this people upon me?
12 Have I conceived all this people? have I begotten them, that thou shouldest say unto me, Carry them in thy bosom, as a nursing father beareth the sucking child, unto the land which thou swarest unto their fathers?
13 Whence should I have flesh to give unto all this people? for they weep unto me, saying, Give us flesh, that we may eat.
14 I am not able to bear all this people alone, because it is too heavy for me.
15 And if thou deal thus with me, kill me, I pray thee, out of hand, if I have found favour in thy sight; and let me not see my wretchedness.
But God did not leave him in this distress; he distributed the burden among 70 others.
What God leads us to... He also leads us through. We dont have to walk alone or bear our burdens alone. If God has lead you to be your brothers keeper you will find all you need to do this in HIM; if God is leading you to give your brother a tough kind of love, you will also find all you need to do this in HIM.
I also wanted to say to you that sometimes the most loving thing we can do with an alcoholic loved one is stop carrying them. Sometimes rock bottom is where God needs them to be so that all they have to hang on to is Him.
I dont know your situation, but it occured to me that perhaps your distress is not without reason; perhaps you need this distress to make you miserable enough to stop carrying your brother. Perhaps your brother needs to sink or swim of his own accord.
I think this time is a time when God is working very ferverantly to bring his lost sheep home because the time is short. Maybe this is what is happening with you and your brother.
May God bless you and keep you and may he make His will and your path clear!
With much love,
Linda
Posts: 4684 | From: Southern Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: Jun 2002
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njclary
unregistered
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posted
Randy; Sounds like you are getting a handle on this. Let Prayer and God work those wonders in your life.
As for your Brother, there is a fine line between support and enabling. Sometimes trying to protect and offer support, can be more damaging, than letting someone who has fallen into the alcoholic pit, get themselves out. It sounds like you need to help your brother by finding counselling for him, instead of cushioning his fall. I don't mean to sound harsh, but in a way I've been there.
God Bless you
Joel
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Back for more
Community Member
Member # 857
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posted
Thank you for your words of encouragement. My family and I will be attending church on Sunday, and I have decided to let my faith in the Lord, handle my personal and professional problems and let the chips fall where they may. I am not sure how my brother feels about the Lord, though since we are not that close anymore. We started growing apart about 5 years ago when I met my wife and quit hanging in bars as a social activity.
From this point on I have rewritten my post because it has started to feel like a novel, and a sob story novel at that. To answer your question Joel, I guess in a way i am in charge, at least in my destiny. To be sure, my brother has had a few setbacks, and it is really sad to see what alcohol can do to otherwise bright and energetic person. He has made progress towards controlling his drinking but the apathy and low self esteem remain. Money is not an issue thankfully in this equation, we will all be alright if we go our seperate ways, but my dad and I feel that my brother would go into a deep depression and resume the heavy drinking again if he did not have the safety blanket of the pseudo "job" to go to. We both feel he would otherwise be unemployable, and that trapped feeling I get when I feel like he is more of my responsibility than my parents, gets under my skin.
Like I said earlier, I am going to put it all in the Lords hands now because the potential positives and negatives of my actions are more than I can quantify. The Lord knows I have tried my best to help our situation, now I need to let HIM do what HE does best.
God Bless
Randy
PS. Thank you for your prayers. I will update you all if there is any encouraging news.
Posts: 10 | Registered: Jan 2003
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Lost
Advanced Member
Member # 343
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posted
sent you a pm. click the 'my profile' button at top of screen.
lost
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The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!" And let him who hears say, "Come!" Whoever is thirsty, let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life. - Rev 22:17
Posts: 115 | From: Los Angeles/San Diego, CA | Registered: Aug 2002
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njclary
unregistered
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posted
to BackforMore: I will pray for your situation; and for your regrowth in the Lord. As you learn to place your life in God's hands, place your Family and job situation in God's hands also. YOU pray for yue brother, pray that he will come to se some truths in his life. Pray for the Lord to act positively in your brothers life.
Having my own business, I can understand some of the problems. But who's in charge? you or your brother? if Dad is so far away, leave him out of it. and deal with things on your own. but at the same time allowing the Lord to affect decision making.
God Bless
Joel
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Back for more
Community Member
Member # 857
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posted
Hi everybody,
This is my first post here after stumbling onto your website last night. As a frequent peruser of the Yahoo stock message boards for the last 4 odd years or so, I have grown increasingly tired of the mean spiritedness I have encountered there. I did a search on Google and stumbled upon this site and I wanted to check it out mostly to get a more upbeat outlook from the participants, but a interesting thing happened. First of all, I am starting to realize how I have been spinning my wheels spiritually and otherwise for the last 6 years or so, and that it is high time that i do something about it. I have had mixed feelings in the past regarding my relationship with Christ, mostly blaming him for my circumstances if I chose to give him any credit at all for that matter. My wife, adopted son and myself have attended a local church a few times, but I would think in the back of my mind that the only reason I am here is that I was not strong enough to find joy and happiness and good fortune on my own. Well, I was obviously forgetting salvation because that is more than enough reason to go to church by itself.
Anyways, other than my spiritual life that I defineately have to put on the mend, I am (the opposite of blessed) with a business partnership with my brother and father that is causing me great stress and anguish and is affecting my home life with my wife and son. My brother is an alcoholic, and a lazy one at that. He has been for ten years or better I am starting to realize. He is such a selfish person he will virtually not go out of his way for anyone for anything. He does not seem to have a problem with me working 7 days a week 10 or 12 hr days to keep the company afloat while he will "work" 25 or 30 hrs a week and in reality really only contributing diddly. He says "that's your problem if you feel you need to work so hard". My father does not have the ability to affect the situation much being 2000 miles away, and he is fed up with my complaining and does not want to hear it. My wife and I want to have a child of our own but I tell her I am unsure if I can put up with all the stress and a newborn too.
I could go on with more, but I will spare you all. If anyone is willing to offer any advice, words of encouragement, or prayer, I will wholeheatedly accept it. I have tried to pray for my brother in the past, but I am so angry and bitter now that I mostly just hope he gets locked up with another DWI or drinks himself to death.
Signed
emotionally drained.
Posts: 10 | Registered: Jan 2003
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