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Author
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Topic: So confused
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Michael Harrison
Advanced Member
Member # 6801
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posted
1Co 7:8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
And wyldb said it in the post about being made an eunich (although that would not apply in the same way to you).
I know exactly what you are experiencing. I got saved in '72, and floated on pillowy clouds after the baptism in the Holy Spirit. But it didn't occur to me to let go of my girlfriend. It wasn't going to happen and I connivingly contrived to cling to her immorally. But the devil took her away. (It wasn't a very smart move to do what I did!)
I really went through trauma over the falling apart, and her turning against me (and getting strung out on meth). I wanted her most out of life. And believing that God would 'reunite' us, I perservered for years, praying that it would be.
I believed that "Whatsoever God hath joined together is one flesh, and therefore let not man put asunder what HE hath joined together." To me this means that whatsoever God has joined together, man can create a paper for, therefore to be apart, but he cannot separate the two from being one flesh. Therefore if the estranged partner, either partner, were to remarry, he or she would commit adultry.
The last way that I ever thought that I would see myself as, is single. And over the years there were opportunities, and temptations, but I endure today (sometimes embarrasingly) as a single man after 36 years.
I do not have to be single. But I came to a crossroads a few years after I lost all that I would have clung to feverishly, for as long as I were able. It was at the point that I became willing to surrender to what I knew about scripture concerning marrage, that God met me with something that I would not have found out otherwise. For love of the world is emnity against God.
Since that time there has been a peaceful undercurrent anchoring me and encouraging me in the faith. It is not to be done without!
It isn't easy to listen to something that seems to go against our hopes and desires, for that for years myself, even after finding the peace of God, I tried to budge God. I tried to see the restoration of what I 'took' outside of His grace, and wisdom, and clung to while wanting also to be HIS. But God is looking for that commitment! He is looking for us to let His soverign will be done.
What does that mean for you? I have no wisdom, no word of prophecy, but if you are willing to let it be it will be better for you. HE is not impotent. He is not on vacation from giving you His attention. He is not out to 'discipline' you by 'witholding' what you desire the most. But I assure you that if you give it up, let go and let God, He will either provide that which you desire, or lead you in peace that is well beyond. But it will be His will. And HE can do nothing if you insist on clinging to hope. But I understand that, with a smile!
I know better than to take a step in that direction without it coming from Him. Now it has been 36 years and I am well resigned to being single (though a little embarrased). That doesn't mean that it is out of the question necessarily. But I have been able to relate to a group of people whom I would not have otherwise, by way of my own choices, and that is the group that through no choice of their own, is stuck with being single. It is painful sometimes, because married's stick with married's. And singles are best with singles. But you get isolated when you are in that condition, and you get older. I haven't been able to 'mix', so I have enjoyed my solitude. And I do! I don't know if I could abandon it now.
Besides, (backtracking a little bit) I don't know how to 'choose'. It would have to be His choice. So I can drop it and let Him, whichever way it goes, and it isn't over yet. But this life is so short that it doesn't matter.
But the point is, what is more important to you, your hopes fulfilled, or HIS? There is not much more that I can say.
Posts: 3273 | From: Charlotte N.C. | Registered: Sep 2007
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Zeena
Advanced Member
Member # 7223
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by happychristian98:
The last two posts had verses straight from the source and as I read them I sensed that I will get married. But you know, that might JUST be wishful thinking....
Psalm 37:4
Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
quote:
I sense that when I focus on the world or the things around me, I sense that I will never marry. It might have to do with the fallen world we live in, Satan up to his tricks..
Romans 16:20
And the God of peace shall bruise Satan under your feet shortly. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Amen.
quote:
Who knows right? All I know is that when I read the verses I sensed that God has a plan for me and that does include a good marriage (one that glorifies His name - i.e. reflects Christ's future wedding with His Church).
O yes He does!!! ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) ![[clap2]](graemlins/clap2.gif)
quote:
I'll keep praying - thanks bros and sisters.
Praise God!!! ![[Kiss]](graemlins/Kiss.gif)
quote:
P.S. As for the biological children thing, I know it's painful I may never have kids of my own but to me, that just means God wants me to adopt. I think I have enough love (or rather Jesus gives me that love) to care and adore children born to other parents.
This is a promise our Father gave me upon finding myself barren -->
Galatians 4:27
For it is written, Rejoice, thou barren that bearest not; break forth and cry, thou that travailest not: for the desolate hath many more children than she which hath an husband.
I'm now teaching sunday school, praise God!
I'm helping to lead teens through some tough times in an online RPG [GuildWars]. ![[updown]](graemlins/updown.gif)
And I'm waiting for MORE blessing of our Father upon my head!!! ![[hug]](graemlins/hug.gif)
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Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?
But I trust that ye shall know that we are not reprobates.
Posts: 749 | From: Toronto, Canada-EH! | Registered: Jun 2008
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apilgrim2
Advanced Member
Member # 7182
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by happychristian98:
I need help. I think I might be called to be single.
I'm turning 30 soon and can feel my biological ticking (I really want a baby - but would never do it on my own).
I've been a Christian for seven years but committed for the last two. I've been praying for a partner for about four years but received anything but.
When I have been praying lately I sense God tells me there is no guy for me. This isn't really a 'new' feeling, I kind of felt it all along.
I would at first resist it and then I would accept it but always it is accompanied with feelings of melancholy and sadness. I try really hard to accept it with gladness but I just can't.
please help, I'm confused if this is my calling or just confusion.
Peace is near, happychristian98. God is not the author of confusion.
The flesh (the old man, the old nature) is designed to carry our certain mandates that were set in motion long ago. We are naturally driven to fulfill various fore-ordained purposes of God.
I have had to contend with the very same issue in my own life, and when I came to realize that the Lord had something very special in His Perfect Heart for me . . . I felt so close, and it was as if I was drawn to His very feet, and that I was called to a closer walk with Him.
This does not mean that I don't have to contend with "those feelings", but I came to realize that HE KNOWS the struggles we face.
Compared to His struggles in flesh upon this earth, mine are but a (very) light affliction.
His comfort is yours . . . receive it, and never refuse it.
Phl 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
In Christ,
-apilgrim2
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"Relativity applies to physics, NOT ethics." - A. Einstein
Posts: 49 | From: Sacramento California | Registered: May 2008
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Billy
Advanced Member
Member # 7193
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posted
We talked about this in my Bible study, a couple of years ago. There are definitely pros and cons to being married and being single. Say you felt the calling to become a missionary, but your husband wasn't listening to the Lord on that particular matter. You would have to submit to your husband, because that is what the Lord has called you to do in scripture. However, you would know that he was not leading you in the right direction. Singleness certainly frees you up to do a lot for the Lord.
I would submit that, perhaps if you were more busy serving the Lord (not that you're not already), you would be too busy to think about these things. Then, when the desire is not as pervasive in your mind, the Lord may send just the right person your way. Regardless, our hope is not in wives and husbands, but in the coming of our Lord and the vendication of His name. Our hope is that we will spend eternity with Him, forever, and anything that we suffer through, on this earth, will only add to the treasure that we receive in glory.
Have you checked out Way of the Master ministries? In my opinion, they provide the best example of how we can spend our time glorifying God. After checking it out, you might want to find out if there are any churches in your area that have street evangelism teams. Getting involved in these types of activities reeps great rewards in your walk with Christ. Think about it.
In Christ,
Billy.
Posts: 217 | From: overseas | Registered: Jun 2008
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Aaron
unregistered
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by happychristian98:
The last two posts had verses straight from the source and as I read them I sensed that I will get married. But you know, that might JUST be wishful thinking....
I sense that when I focus on the world or the things around me, I sense that I will never marry. It might have to do with the fallen world we live in, Satan up to his tricks..
Who knows right? All I know is that when I read the verses I sensed that God has a plan for me and that does include a good marriage (one that glorifies His name - i.e. reflects Christ's future wedding with His Church).
I'll keep praying - thanks bros and sisters.
P.S. As for the biological children thing, I know it's painful I may never have kids of my own but to me, that just means God wants me to adopt. I think I have enough love (or rather Jesus gives me that love) to care and adore children born to other parents.
One of my good friends was first married at the ripe age of 33.
Bless you,
Aaron
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happychristian98
New Member
Member # 7289
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posted
The last two posts had verses straight from the source and as I read them I sensed that I will get married. But you know, that might JUST be wishful thinking....
I sense that when I focus on the world or the things around me, I sense that I will never marry. It might have to do with the fallen world we live in, Satan up to his tricks..
Who knows right? All I know is that when I read the verses I sensed that God has a plan for me and that does include a good marriage (one that glorifies His name - i.e. reflects Christ's future wedding with His Church).
I'll keep praying - thanks bros and sisters.
P.S. As for the biological children thing, I know it's painful I may never have kids of my own but to me, that just means God wants me to adopt. I think I have enough love (or rather Jesus gives me that love) to care and adore children born to other parents.
Posts: 2 | Registered: Aug 2008
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WildB
Moderator
Member # 2917
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posted
1 cor 7
[28] But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
[29] But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;
[30] And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;
[31] And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.
[32] But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
[33] But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
[34] There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
[35] And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
and
Matthew 19:12
For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
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That is all.....
Posts: 8775 | From: USA, MICHIGAN | Registered: Mar 2004
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Zeena
Advanced Member
Member # 7223
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by WildB:
1 cor 7
[28] But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
[29] But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;
[30] And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;
[31] And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.
[32] But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
[33] But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
[34] There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
[35] And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
Matthew 19:12
For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
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Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?
But I trust that ye shall know that we are not reprobates.
Posts: 749 | From: Toronto, Canada-EH! | Registered: Jun 2008
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Zeena
Advanced Member
Member # 7223
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by happychristian98:
I've been a Christian for seven years but committed for the last two. I've been praying for a partner for about four years but received anything but.
It is evident God has used this for His Glory. For You've been committed for two years now, after praying for four.. ![[cool_shades]](graemlins/cool_shades.gif)
Trust, rest, abide precious Saint.
Revelation 22:12
And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be.
Your not alone, I too would have liked to have children but was denied, to the Glory of God.
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Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?
But I trust that ye shall know that we are not reprobates.
Posts: 749 | From: Toronto, Canada-EH! | Registered: Jun 2008
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Zeena
Advanced Member
Member # 7223
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posted
When you let go of your hopes and dreams, your Heavenly Father will return them to you after HIS image. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Ecclesiastes 11:1
Cast thy bread upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many days.
Psalm 55:22
Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.
1 Peter 5:7
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Hebrews 6:19
Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil;
Proverbs 24:14
So shall the knowledge of wisdom be unto thy soul: when thou hast found it, then there shall be a reward, and thy expectation shall not be cut off.
Your Heavenly Father has something for your hands, but you must first empty them. ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
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Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?
But I trust that ye shall know that we are not reprobates.
Posts: 749 | From: Toronto, Canada-EH! | Registered: Jun 2008
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Betty Louise
Advanced Member
Member # 7175
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posted
I honestly do not know what God has planed for you, but I can tell you that I have noticed with friends when they stop looking and focus on God, He often brings into their path someone just for them.
Sometimes, God just wants us to be willing to accept His will for our lives whatever it is. Then when we have made peace with His will, He will often give us what we had desired all along.
No matter what, you want God's will because the wrong man can be a disaster.
Keep trusting God.
betty
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Luk 21:28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.
Posts: 5051 | From: Houston, Texas | Registered: May 2008
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happychristian98
New Member
Member # 7289
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posted
I need help. I think I might be called to be single.
I'm turning 30 soon and can feel my biological ticking (I really want a baby - but would never do it on my own).
I've been a Christian for seven years but committed for the last two. I've been praying for a partner for about four years but received anything but.
When I have been praying lately I sense God tells me there is no guy for me. This isn't really a 'new' feeling, I kind of felt it all along.
I would at first resist it and then I would accept it but always it is accompanied with feelings of melancholy and sadness. I try really hard to accept it with gladness but I just can't.
please help, I'm confused if this is my calling or just confusion.
Posts: 2 | Registered: Aug 2008
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