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Author
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Topic: How Do I Know Where I Stand?
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Weary
Community Member
Member # 5052
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posted
Dear BornAgain,
Thank-you so much for the suggestion. I will look for Watchman Nee's "The Normal Christian Life" in the bookstores.
God Bless ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Posts: 9 | Registered: Sep 2005
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Weary
Community Member
Member # 5052
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posted
Hi, Linda,
I have been thinking a lot about your last post and I am a little confused. Are you saying you don't think people should take medications to treat mental illnesses? Also, do you think we should not see mental health professionals?
I definitely agree with you that "the philosophies of modern psychology...are in many cases the antithesis of the Bible". When I initially started seeing a therapist, I ended up in a bad situation that changed my life. After that I was loathe to return to therapy--I didn't want to see another one of those folks again. But things became so bad that I knew I'd lose, at the very least, my job if I didn't get help. I was blessed to find a Christian therapist. A biblically wise, gentle woman who has been helping me. She did advise me that I will always have to take medication to control the mood swings associated with Bipolar Disorder. If I don't, I could --no, I definitely would return to irrational thinking, impulsivity, staying awake and pacing three nights straight with no sleep, paranoia, confusion and distractibility, etc...
It's a connundrum. What do you think?
Posts: 9 | Registered: Sep 2005
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BORN AGAIN
unregistered
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posted
Dear Weary, you may want to try reading a simple and easy-to-read paperback book that helped me tremendously, by Watchman Nee, called The Normal Christian Life.
Aside from that, your feelings have nothing to do with being saved or not saved. It appears to be very common for persons who have been abused or abandoned to feel very detached from any "Father" figure of any type, including God, although I have heard of cases, and on this BBS, Carmela said so, in which she was able to finally accept God the Father as the father she never had.
Indeed, Weary, I would say that your condition is simply an aggravated condition of all of our conditions, and that these are the very conditions for which Christ died.
There came a time in my Christian walk, as a result of reading Watchman Nee's book, that I gave up "trying to be good" because I realized that it to be a hopeless exercise to "try to be good" when "in my flesh dwells no good". Not only was it hopeless to try, it was tiring and didn't work.
Now I am whatever I am and have faith that the Holy Spirit will gradually lead me into cleaner and fresher pastures, and if not, that's okay too.
Indeed, I prefer to say about myself that "Christ did not die BECAUSE OF me but IN SPITE OF me."
For "God so loved the world that He sent His Only Begotten Son, that whosoever BELIEVES in Him, should not perish, but have everlasting life."
Note that the reception of everlasting life is NOT DEPENDENT on DOING, and is NOT dependent on FEELING, but ONLY ON BELIEVING.
Do you believe? Then you are saved, no matter what your DOING is doing and your FEELING is feeling as a result of your past.
"O wretched man that I am! Who will save me from this body of death?"
Answer: "I thank God through Jesus Christ."
If you think YOU have a body of death, according to Watchman Nee, the expression "body of death" came from an ancient practice of punishing murderers by tying the dead body of the person who he had killed onto his back and he was free to go, but always with that "body of death" on his back, until he himself died beneath his awful, smelly burden.
Try reading that paperback I mentioned above; it may set you free from doubt and guilt and wondering if you are saved. It saved me.
Watchman Nee's book will show you how you can die, so that you can live.
God bless, ![[Cross]](graemlins/cross.gif) BORN AGAIN
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helpforhomeschoolers
Advanced Member
Member # 15
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posted
Hi Weary: I have been incredibly busy too and I want to continue with the above post hopefully in the next day if you are interested in where I am going with this. But I wanted to comment on something you said in this past week:
quote:
I know that God cares more about the fruit of our lives than emotions, but doesn't some of that fruit result from emotions? What about love? We are told to love one another. I have a big problem even trusting people, let alone feeling love. Although, strangely enough I am able to feel compassion for someone else's suffering. What about joy? The Church is always telling us how we should have joy, and the church I used to attend made it abundantly clear that we have an obligation to be joyful. They always wanted to see smiles. I think all churches do. They don't want to know that you are in this psychological and emotional pain and that it WILL NOT GO AWAY. Wishful thinking doesn't do it. Counting my blessings doesn't do it. Acting "as if" doesn't do it. Sucking it up and having positive thoughts doesn't do it.
First I want to say that it is not true that God cares more about the fruit in our lives than in our emotions.
Your emotions are part of your soul and God cares a great deal for your soul. Further, look at the fruit of the Spirit... this is fruit that HIS spirit produces in us...
Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
If God goes about producing in us things like love and joy and peace, then certainly God is very concerned about our emotions.
I dont know about an obligation to be joyful! If Joy is HIS fruit in us then I am not sure that we could consider it obligatory. We should have joy; God desires us to have JOY; CHRIST IS OUR JOY; and our HOPE, and OUR PEACE. But I am not sure that we can attach obligatory to these things. And in reality these things are not either emotions... they are A PERSON in whom we rest, which is a hint of where I am going with the above discussion. So I am gonna stop here, but just to say that as you can see (I hope) from this discussion so far...we humans have a lot of "stinkin thinkin"
You are right about these things.... "Wishful thinking doesn't do it. Counting my blessings doesn't do it. Acting "as if" doesn't do it. Sucking it up and having positive thoughts doesn't do it." To these things I say Amen! You cannot get free of opression by any of these methods. You also cant get free from opression by wallowing in what is wrong in your life for an hour a week with a therapist or even three hours a week ... I know that there are some that will not like that comment, but I tell you that the philosophies of modern psychology and how to deal with most issues of "mental" illness are anything but Biblical, and in many cases they are the antithesis of Biblical. And whether we like it or not or want to believe it or not, the pharmaceutical industry has done nothing to end depression in spite of billions of dollars in research and advertisement to sell anti depressants and uptake inhibitors and Re-uptake Inhibitors depression continues to rise plaguing more and more people each and every year since 1915, killing more and more people, and costing more and more to our economy in lost productivity and more. The problem is that drugs deal with a symptom.... unbalanced levels of neurotransmitters in your body, calling them the cause and exchanging one affect (unspeakable despair) for another (apathy). Apathy does not = JOY or PEACE or HOPE and it is not good enough to have apathy.
No, You cant wish it away; you cant think yourself better; you cant **** it up and make it go away and you cant pretend it just is not there. But you can see it for what it is and deal with it scripturally and be free.
More on that thought to come...
PS.....
quote:
The Church is always telling us how we should have joy, and the church I used to attend made it abundantly clear that we have an obligation to be joyful. They always wanted to see smiles. I think all churches do. They don't want to know that you are in this psychological and emotional pain and that it WILL NOT GO AWAY
I am sincerely, sorry that this has been your experience. I am not surprised by it, but I am saddened by it. The trouble is that our view in the church has become so humanistic that we think that the JOY and PEACE and HOPE that the church of the Apostles had even while being persecuted, burned at the stake, languishing in prison, and worse is something that you can of your own power paint on, and when our brothers and sisters say that does not work, we want to run and hide and take an ignorance is bliss attitude because that allows us to ignore our own short comings, humanistic views, false paradigms, and failures at teaching what HE taught,making disciples, and living in our salvation and allows us to continue on with the staus quo.
Posts: 4684 | From: Southern Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: Jun 2002
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Weary
Community Member
Member # 5052
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posted
Hi, DaughterAnn,
Pleaseee do not think you've been in any way insensitive or that you've made me feel worse about my situation. On the contrary, you've helped. It helps to know that someone cares enough to take the time to think about my problem. It helps that you've promised to pray for me. And it especially helps that you helped me to consider the possibility that there is some real purpose to what I've endured--God's glory.
Thank-you so much, DaughterAnn. I'm sorry I was so frustrated it seemed that I was upset with you. I truly was not .
Anne
Posts: 9 | Registered: Sep 2005
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DaughterAnn
Advanced Member
Member # 2055
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posted
Weary,
I am sorry that you are in so much turmoil. And I'm even sorrier if I made you feel worse, or was not sensitive to your situation. That was not my intention at all. If I said anything wrong, please forgive me.
You said it was unfortunate that you didn't follow through with your plans to commit suicide. I am glad that you didn't. I understand that you may feel miserable and even hopeless, but suicide is never the answer (I have made plans like that in the past as well). Even though your health affects your family, your intentional death would effect them much greater, and not for the good.
I don't know why this happened to you. Why you were born like this. Maybe no one will ever know. It reminds me of a story in Luke where the disciples asked Jesus whose sin caused a certain man to be born blind. Jesus told them that it was no one's sin that was the reason, but that His own glory could be shown. Hold on to that. When His glory is shown in your life, it will be MAGNIFICENT.
Now, I know that doesn't help for right now. I'm afraid that I don't have anything better to say than what has already been said. But I will pray for you. It's not that I believe in prayer itself. But in the ONE to whom I pray. He is before all things, and in HIM all things consist. He formed you in your mother's womb and knows you intimately. He understands your synapses and your enzymes. He knows what is going on, physically, in your brain to cause you to feel (or not to feel) the way you do. He is the only ONE who can truly heal. So, I'll pray to HIM. ![[Prayer]](graemlins/prayer.gif)
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DaughterAnn †
"Isaiah 6:
5 Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts."
Posts: 60 | From: Lubbock, Texas | Registered: Sep 2003
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Weary
Community Member
Member # 5052
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posted
Hi, DaughterAnn:
In response to your questions, at present I am on medication to treat my bipolar disorder. I also take Buspar for anxiety. In fact, since my diagnosis, the docs have prescribed a number of medications for the BP, which has been very difficult to treat. One reason is the constant turmoil of my family situation.
Early this year I became very frustrated with the whole medication issue and their physical side effects, and I stopped taking all of them. I also stopped seeing my psychiatrist who my therapist thought was prescribing meds irresponsibly.That lasted for four months until I could find another psychiatrist. During that time, I still experienced the emotional detachment in between bouts of hypomania and severe depression. I'd actually formulated a well-thought out plan to commit suicide at that time. Unfortunately, I was too exhausted and apathetic to carry it through; I could barely get through keeping up personal hygiene. Then my appointment with the psych doc came and new meds, so that plan was shelved.
I know that God cares more about the fruit of our lives than emotions, but doesn't some of that fruit result from emotions? What about love? We are told to love one another. I have a big problem even trusting people, let alone feeling love. Although, strangely enough I am able to feel compassion for someone else's suffering. What about joy? The Church is always telling us how we should have joy, and the church I used to attend made it abundantly clear that we have an obligation to be joyful. They always wanted to see smiles. I think all churches do. They don't want to know that you are in this psychological and emotional pain and that it WILL NOT GO AWAY. Wishful thinking doesn't do it. Counting my blessings doesn't do it. Acting "as if" doesn't do it. Sucking it up and having positive thoughts doesn't do it.
I'm sorry, DaughterAnn. I don't understand why I am like this, why I have always been like this. What did I do so wrong as a young child to bring this on myself? I could understand that this is a result of my sin if it had started long after I knew what sin was. But I've been this way since I was a little girl. I feel as though I was born defective and deserve this, but I do not know why.
Posts: 9 | Registered: Sep 2005
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DaughterAnn
Advanced Member
Member # 2055
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posted
Hey Weary,
I have a question for you that may or may not bring about any answers. I, too, have had emotional / mental difficulties in my life. I spent MANY years clinically depressed. And have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks from childhood. So, that's why I have this question:
Are you on any medication?
For both depression and anxiety, I was on Prozac for many years. It was a great drug for me and I never had any bad side effects from it. But other people I knew who were on it complained that they never felt anything. No joy, no grief, no happiness or sadness. The drug helped with their bad emotions, but also took away just about all emotion.
If you are taking any medications, just be aware that you could be experiencing the effects of that drug and not necessarily a lack of feeling toward God.
One other thing. I know that we are emotional creatures and emotions are important to us. But remember that The Lord isn't looking for emotion in us, but fruit. Even though we may not feel like we are doing anything for or with Him, as long as we are obedient to His Word, we'll be on the right path. ![[thumbsup2]](graemlins/thumbsup2.gif)
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DaughterAnn †
"Isaiah 6:
5 Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts."
Posts: 60 | From: Lubbock, Texas | Registered: Sep 2003
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Weary
Community Member
Member # 5052
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posted
Hi, Everyone:
It's been a very long week and I have a lot on my plate this weekend with work that I brought home. But I have been thinking constantly about what you all have posted to me and I felt like I needed to be here this evening.
WhiteEagel, cpteach, and Evangelica, thank-you so much for your prayers for me and for reminding me that God loves me. Apprentice, thank-you for the links to sermons--they are most helpful. You are right about taking a vacation. I've never had a vacation before--never! I am very tired--physically, mentally, and emotionally, and I feel like I can't catch a breath. I work in the school system September through June, and then even during the summer. I know that getting too tired is like letting one's immune system run down: the germs come in and take over and then you are sick! Satan and his army do the same when they see vunerability in the Christian. I will try to get rested soon.
Linda, your last post was very intriguing, especially because I can see the truth of all you've written. So many times I have felt like Elijah--experiencing the despair and anguish of fear, since that is a central issue in my life.
I understand that the reasons we suffer are because of sin--ours, someone else's; or because our suffering is part of God's design for our lives. I understand that we are not living victorious lives in Christ in the here and now as God intends for us. I would like to understand why, and how that can change for me.
Thank-you so much for taking the time to help me. You cannot know what it means to me that you do this. I will wait to hear more from you.
Anne
Posts: 9 | Registered: Sep 2005
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Weary
Community Member
Member # 5052
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posted
Hello, Everyone:
Thank-you all again for your responses to my message. I am so grateful to find such kind and caring people on this site. I want to respond to your posts--especially yours, Linda--but I am overwhelmed by work that I've been bringing home every evening and am racing against deadlines. I feel like a hamster on its treadmill! I will post again in a couple of days.
Thank-you again, and God bless you all.
Posts: 9 | Registered: Sep 2005
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apprentice
Advanced Member
Member # 4944
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by Weary:
I'm a new member. I have so many questions, I don't know where to begin.
Weary, I'm not a fountain of spiritual information, but I can tell you that you need to take a long vacation, as in three or more weeks. You are mentally exhausted. The frustration you are experiencing can occur in many areas of life, including the spiritual area. When you are tired and weakened, Satan finds you as ready prey.
There is a sermon that I would suggest you listen to. It's available online here. Another particularly good one is here. The main page for the latest sermons is here.
Please don't disregard my suggestion. You must take a long vacation and DO NOTHING. Sit around and read, and not just the Bible (although that is a good thing to do.) Clear your mind. Let God work in your mind. If you have to save up the money to take a break, get a part time job, save the money, and DO IT!
We have probably all felt the pain you are feeling. Good luck with it, and let us follow along as your go through this journey. What you learn along the way will benefit others, if you choose to share.
Posts: 21 | Registered: Aug 2005
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helpforhomeschoolers
Advanced Member
Member # 15
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posted
Hi Weary: I have sent you my email and I do look forward to talkng to you more in private, but I want to talk about your situation here on the board too because it is not an uncommon one, many many Christians suffer and are opressed and in bondage and it is heartbreaking I am sure to our heavenly Father.
It's not your fault. I think that we....the church and body of Christ are sorely lacking in doing the work that Jesus commanded us to do and thus HIS people suffer needlessly.
When Jesus sent the Apoltels off to build HIS church, he sent them with instructions and they were specific instructions because man has a tendency to try and do things man's way. Here is Jesus.... way:
Matthew 28:19 19 Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:
20 Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.
You will note above that there are three steps here:
1. Teach all nations
2. Baptizing them in the NAME of Jesus
3. Teach them to observe ALL that HE commanded to the Apostles.
Few of us have come to Christ in this way. This does not mean that we are not saved; but it does mean that we do not live the victorious life that we should be living because it is ours... bought with the precious blood of Christ and delivered to us FREEly and given to us with no strings attached.
You wiill note that the first "teach" is specifically spoken to the nations... this is because the nations did not have the advantage of the oracles of God that the Hebrews had their entire lives. The Hebrews had the LAW to show them what sin looked like and to convict them of their inability apart from God to be HOLY and live HOLY. This was an advantage that the Jews had.... they knew that God was; they knew that he rewarded those who sought God; they knew that God does not tolerate evil, but hates it; they knew that in THIS LIFE we could have blessing or cursing.
Think about the OT for a moment and think about it in relationship to your depression, feelings of hopelessness, and a life out of control..
Really think on this and get a grasp of what advantage the Hebrews had in understanding life IN THIS LIFE. I say life in this life because they did not think about the life to come as we do. For them, they believed that the life to come was guaranteed them as the seed of Abraham and Issac, and Jacob, but they understood that this life and the quality thereof was directly related to their obedience and walk with God in their midst.
Still, they could see that Moses was at times depressed...
Moses was so burdened by his calling to deliver the people out of bondage that he cried out to God....."I can't bear this burden any longer...
Numbers 11:15 14 I am not able to bear all this people alone, because it is too heavy for me.
Jonah asked God to TAKE HIS LIFE!!! Jonah 4:3 & 8
"Therefore now, O LORD, take, I beseech thee, my life from me; for it is better for me to die than to live. Jonah, that he fainted, and wished in himself to die, and said, It is better for me to die than to live."
Have you ever felt like that? I can tell you that I have cried out to God those very words!!!
David, a man after God's own heart.....
Psalm 6:6-7 I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears. Mine eye is consumed because of grief; it waxeth old because of all mine enemies.
His eye... the way he sees his life is consumed with grief and tired because so many are against him.
Success does not keep us from despair... look here at Elijah... Elijah who was taken UP and did not see death. Elijah who walked with God in great, fantastic victory having slain 300 prophets of Baal and afterwards look at his condition......
Elijah in Beersheba beneath a tree. Jezebel has vowed to kill him, and the spirit of despair is upon him. Alone, tired, and hungry, he is consumed with anxiety and fear. He cries out to the Lord. “I have had enough, Lord. Take my life; I am no better off than my ancestors.”
Mighty men of God VEXED in the spirit. The Bible is full of examples.
The nations needed to understand the way things worked in this life. Things like in the story of Job, where great unspeakable loss and anguish came sometimes for no other reason than the devil was out for us, or like with Moses....sometimes anguish comes because our earthly burden is greater than we can bear alone, or like Elijah, sometimes anguish comes because we let fear take us over and consume us and we have for ourselves pity parties under the old oak tree, and sometimes like David the world is just full of enemies who want to hunt us down and do evil to us though we have nothing for them but good.
All of these things tell us one thing...
WE NEED GOD!! There is just too much that we cannot control. The day is evil; people are evil; life on this earth is drudge at times, sin vexes us even if we dont sin....look at Lot who was vexed VEXED by the evil in Sodom.
WE NEED GOD!!!
This is the first thing that a gentile needs to know. That God is and WE NEED HIM and we are apart from HIM because of Adam's sin. He calls us into HIS life where there is rest and freedom from bondage and provision for all our needs.
I am going to stop here for a moment.... I want you to think on this for a while and I am going to write the next part..
What I want you to see here is this:
1. you are not alone.
2. Many great men of God....heros of the faith have suffered anguish, overwhelming despair, been suicidal.
3. Sometimes these things come because of our sin, sometimes because sin is around us, sometimes because the devil opresses us, sometimes because God tests us and uses our lives to show the enemy that he is not God, sometimes because the spirit of fear consumes us, and sometimes they happen for no other reason than the fact that our burdens in this life cannot be beared alone by us.
4. I want you to know also that there is an unseen realm and it is real. We.... our lives are witnessed by angels Holy and unholy.
5. I want you to know that the Hebrews had advantage in that they understood that this life on this earth could be one of blessing or cursing. Jesus' plan for the preaching of the Gospel and the salvation of our souls is a plan that brings us to the place of blessing in this life and the one to come. We have to see why we (so many christians) do not live this life in blessing and victory and look only to the life to come. This is not God's way and it is not the salvation that is ours bought and paid for with the blood. But we have to see why it is this way. I hope to show you this.
I am going to leave you here for now, and I will return later with the next thing that I want to show you. Bear with me. This is a complicated issue, but there is freedom in the things that I want to show you. I hope that you will stay with me as it may take me a few posts to show you all of this, but I know that there is freedom, because PRAISE GOD I have lived it now for many many years and I too was abused, and I too was clinically depressed; and I too had messed up parents and I have lived below unvictoriously and by HIS Grace and mercy and blood I am today free and whom the SON sets free is free indeed, it is no lie. It is truth.
Posts: 4684 | From: Southern Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: Jun 2002
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Evangelica
New Member
Member # 5057
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posted
Dear Weary, You must stop the demons from attacking you-they use witches,wizards,and others all the time. How do I know because I have triumped over their evil with GOD, JESUS, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT praying through me. They tormented me and even gave me a death date. The devil is a liar. The blood of Jesus will cleanse you from your sins, I pray it covers you, your mind, and also your home. I had abuse also, I had to forgive them all and I also drank. Now I do not even watch TV, except for News. You need to find a ministry that heals,and throws out demons and the like. Do not let what happened to me fall onto you. Keep praying,read your bible,and have faith.
God will then talk to youJesus will intercede on your behalf. The Holy Spirit will renew in you energy and zeal. I tried doing this in half measures it doesn't work, you must do Gods will 100%. You will receive great insight and more.GOD BLESS
Posts: 2 | From: home | Registered: Sep 2005
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cpteach
New Member
Member # 4455
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posted
Greetings, Weary!
Linda has given you Truth from God's Word. I'm glad she will be in contact with you to help you. I'll pray for you to come to full assurance of your salvation and gain victory through Jesus Christ.
Guilt can weigh us down before and after we are saved, unless we sincerely confess the sin with the purpose to forsake it. I John 1:9 tells Christians, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (Note the word, "all".)
Here are four truths to meditate on and even memorize.
1. God's love for me is unchanging.
2. God's purpose for me is Christlikeness.
3. God's word to me is the final right answer.
4. God's grace for me is sufficient.
I'm praying that you will soon be able to change your name to "Weary-no-more"!
In Christ,
cpteach
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cpteach
Posts: 2 | From: Virginia | Registered: Mar 2005
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Weary
Community Member
Member # 5052
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posted
Thank-you,MySavingGrace, WhiteEagle, and helpforhomeschoolers for responding to my post. You cannot know what it means to me that someone cared enough to answer.
Linda, I very much want to reply to your post. You've asked so many questions that I scarcely know where to begin. That actually is good because it encourages me to examine more closely what I do believe.
I am very much aware that I am a sinner, and that is why I so desperately need the blood of Christ to cover my sins. I know that sin results in spiritual death and eternal separation from God, as well as separation from Him while we are on this earth. I know that forgiveness of sins and redemption of our souls is possible by God's grace, only through faith in Jesus Christ.
Initially, I had no doubts about Bible doctrine or my salvation. But little by little, they began to infiltrate my thinking. Whenever I heard someone on a radio program talk about people who thought they were saved, but really weren't, I'd think they were talking about me. Or when the pastor of a church I visited insisted that there were people who wouldn't "walk down the aisle to the altar" and admit they weren't saved because they were lying to themselves, I wondered whether that was me. Even though I had done that in another church, even though I had received Christ prior to becoming a member of my local church.
You ask whether I confess my sins to God. I used to, when I was able to pray, and when I believed He would forgive me and not be as sick of me as I am. It's been a long time since I've been able to pray.
I wonder, Linda, would you mind emailing me? I understand if you'd prefer not to, but if you will, my address is wearyoflife@yahoo.com
Posts: 9 | Registered: Sep 2005
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WhiteEagle
Advanced Member
Member # 3728
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posted
Dear Weary
I agree with Helpforhomeschoolers, that your suffering is not evidence of a lost soul, but a soul that is being oppressed by Satan.
If you have called on the Lord in Jesus name and repented of your sins, and have accepted Jesus as your Savior, your King, and your God of all, then you are saved.
Jesus came to set the captives free and bind up the broken-hearted. Luke 4:18-19
People who are victims of childhood abuse suffer from the "sins" of others on them. You may be holding on to shame and guilt that is not even your own. Shame is a mark of an abused person.
Plead the Blood of Jesus over your situation and ask the Lord to free you of shame and open your eyes to the things you may need to repent of and reclaim the ground that Satan is attempting to take away from you as a saint of God.
Jesus said " I have come that you might have life and have it more abundantly."
Satan is a thief and a robber who comes to steal, kill, and destroy even the Christian, if we don't have our armor on.
God loves you and God bless you.
Posts: 1392 | From: Maine | Registered: Aug 2004
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helpforhomeschoolers
Advanced Member
Member # 15
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posted
Hi Weary: I read your post yesterday and I wanted to pray about it before I answered. Your questions are complicated but the Bible has the answers.
quote:
What I need to know is are these feelings--or lack of-indicative of a lost soul?
NO! They are not. They are indicative of an opressed soul. I know this because I lived like this for 8 years before God delivered me from depression. I was saved at 8 years old.
Are you saved? I dont know but you do..... let me explain.
Romans 10:13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Do you know that you are a sinner? Do You know that sinners go to hell when they die? Do you know that sin separates us from God making us enemies in our mind with HIM?
Colossians 1:21 And you, that were sometime alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now hath he reconciled
DO you believe that GOD loves mankind and wants man to be reconcilled to HIM and thus HE has manifest HIMSELF in the flesh of Jesus who died and being sinless, paid the price of the sin of Adam that was in all men, and made it possible for God to extend grace to YOU and mercy, that if you would confess your own sins to HIM he would forgive those also?
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Do you confess your sins to God that HE may forgive them? You see this is important, because your confession says that you know that you are a sinner and you know that you need forgiveness and you know that God is the one who forgives. But you need to make sure that you understand that GOD is a just God and HE forgives because JESUS has paid the price of your sins. God cannot fail to forgive your sins if you trust that Jesus blood has paid for them because GOD has found JEsus' blood to be sufficient. God does not reject the sufficiecy of the blood of Jesus, if you believe in it and claim it for the forigiveness of your sins.
Do you believe that Jesus, who was God manifest in the flesh, died and was buried, was also risen, by the Spirit of God all mighty and is the hope of our also rising?
This is important too. Jesus had no sin and thus HE was not guilty - There was no sin in HIS flesh to separate Jesus from God in death and so God quickened his dead flesh with the SPirit of the Holy Ghost and raised his flesh from the grave.
Acts 13:37 But he, whom God raised again, saw no corruption.
This is our HOPE. Jesus is our HOPE of rising...Not our sinful flesh...we will leave that in the grave, but as the corruptible seed of our flesh and bones is sown in the ground, our spiritual bodies are raised and will ascend to HIM to be glorified.
1 Corinthians 15:42 So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown in corruption; it is raised in incorruption:
So, I ask you do YOU BELIEVE????
Do you believe the word of God is true?
Do you believe that GOD is... that HE exists and is a rewarder of those who seek HIM?
Do you believe that You need a savior?
Do you believe that whosovever shall call on the Name of the Lord Jesus shall be saved?
Do you Believe that God so loved the world that he sent HIS only begotten SON to die and pay the price of sin for you and not only you but for the world?
Do you believe that God accepted the sacrifice of Christ as sufficient?
Do you believe that because of the blood of Christ if you confess your sins they are forgiven?
Do you believe that Christ was raised from the dead bodily, received into heaven and glorified and is seated now at the right hand of the Father?
Do you believe that what the WORD of God says is true that Christ is the hope of our also rising for all that believe?
Did you believe this 7 years ago? Have you stopped believing this?
Weary, I have much more to say to you, some of which I think will help you understand what is happening to you, but I want to stop here and wait for your relpy....
DO you believe?.... not know in your head. But BELIEVE in your heart that these things are true. Also know that I am not asking you if you feel saved. This obviously is an issue we will deal with... but right now... DO you BELIEVE?
I will continue after you respond.
Love in Christ,
Linda
Posts: 4684 | From: Southern Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: Jun 2002
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Weary
Community Member
Member # 5052
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posted
I'm a new member. I have so many questions, I don't know where to begin. I don't even know whether anyone here has the answers I need.
I have been a Christian for several years; however, I do not feel like one and I wonder whether I am truly saved and if not, how I can be.
It's all so complicated, but I will try to explain as briefly as possible.
First, I've struggled with mental illness all my life. I was sexually molested as a young child, my father left my mother, sisters and me while we were very young, and our family life was exceedingly unstable and turbulent (I won't go into details). Although I was an adult when I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Disorder, the psychiatrist said I'd suffered with them as a child. For years, I've cut and burned my body to manage my emotions. Periodically, when things are really bad, I drink too much (wine) and take too many sleeping pills. I'm telling you all these things because to not mention them in light of my question would be leaving out parts of who I am as a person.
The problem is that when I first came to the Lord seven years ago, I was happy and so grateful. I believed wholeheartedly that I had a new life in Christ, that I was saved. I couldn't learn enough. Reading my Bible, attending and being involved in church..everything was a joy. But then I wasn't prepared for the old negative thoughts to return. I wasn't prepared for the crushing depression to come back, and the doubts and feelings of worthlessness, and needing to cope in those same ways again. I guess I'd thought that once saved, I'd be free from all that.
I was very self-crtical, and when I sinned by thinking badly about someone, being selfish, or telling a lie, I kept thinking that I "wasn't doing it right", that I "kept messing up", and maybe I wasn't saved. I tend toward an all-or-nothing pespective.
But the worst thing of all, which drives me here is the problems I have with feeling. Many times in the past, and increasingly so in the past couple of years, I have been unable to feel anything for God, for other people. Not love, not anger, nothing but a weary kind of detachment. While other people in church are praising God and are vey emotional, many times I am empty. I notice this also when I am overwhelmed by feelings of frustration, anxiety, fear or stress about a particular situation, after awhile, my feelings shut down. Thinking about my poor relationship with God used to torment me to the point of weeping constantly as I tried to pray. Now I haven't even that. I just feel tired and empty.
What I need to know is are these feelings--or lack of-indicative of a lost soul? I have prayed so many times for the Lord to quicken my heart and to make me the person He wants me to be. But the only thing I ever feel is guilt and shame for who I am and what I am not. I've never been able to feel His love, and He always seems so distant that I can't reach Him. How do I become saved? I'd thought that all I had to do was admit to the Lord that i'd been a sinner living in rebellion against Him, that Jesus--His Son- is the only atonement for sin, and admit my need for Him to be my Savior. How many times do I have to do that before I am truly a changed person? I won't pretend that I have lived a life without sin. In fact, I can understand why God would have no use for me, that I am a "vessel made to dishonour", and I have stopped trying to please Him. Not because I don't want to, but because I feel I am utterly incapable of it.
I'm sorry this is so long. There is no one to whom I can talk about this. I have so many other questions. Please respond. Thank-you.
Posts: 9 | Registered: Sep 2005
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