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Author
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Topic: Sex before marriage
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Chaplain Bob
Advanced Member
Member # 5019
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by lambouths:
I'm looking for some encourgement from a true christian standpoint. I am a 30 year old divorced women with one child and I have decided to follow God. All my life I have had sex before marriage. Now I want God to choose my mate and I want to do things the right way. It is very hard. I've never been so rejected in the dating scene. I'm a very attractive women and I get approached all the time, but it is amazing how many men run away from a christian women who is adament about not having sex until marriage. I pray to God to give me strength but the more rejection I receive, the worst I feel inside. Now I'm afraid to date because I fear the same outcome.
Stick to your principles Sister. And know it is not YOU who is being rejected. You don't want to be dating men who are just after your body. Ask God to send the man He has chosen for you and don't be anxious to date. If He wants you to marry He will make the arrangements.
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In His Service,
Bob Allen
Posts: 209 | From: Checotah, Oklahoma | Registered: Aug 2005
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BrazilianMommy
Advanced Member
Member # 4787
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posted
I am witu you Eduardo. Congratulations on your grandchild ![[Smile]](smile.gif) Sorry haven't replied to you. Just overly busy these past weeks
Sister, please read my story:
I was engaged before in Brazil and we broke up. It was really upseting time. A little after I met Jesus and then my life changed. I asked for a husband all the time, it was my main concern should I say.
I saw some girls at the church that were single and they were way past the age of getting married. I then thought: "If God doesn't not want me to get married? If this is not my call?". I accepted that as an option and focused myself on His works. I got involved on several things at the church, I was truly commited with the kindom.
One day, I installed internet on my house (I worked with computing I thought I should have it hehe - I also wanted to practice English since I was taking English classes). I got in a chat room and met a guy from U.S.
We exchanged emails and he told me that he was Christian, 35 years old (I was 27), he was single and never been married. We talked about many things. We KNOW that is was God's work because after 45 days I came to the US to visit him and we are now married for 8 years and have 2 kids. We are sooo happy together and we tell our story as a testimony that God will fullfil the desires of your heart if you follow and trust him.
I learned that his thoughts are higher than ours. When I accepted whatever He had reserved for me was when he gave me what I wanted. Like He wanted me to understand something. My husband was probably ready, but I wasn't.
Pray not only for your future husband, pray for your real purpose whatever that will be. Seek the kindom and all will be added. Maintain firm on your faith and your beliefs. In another words: Pray that the Lord prepares you.
Much love,
Roberta
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Jesus loves you
Posts: 83 | From: United States | Registered: Jun 2005
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yahsway
Advanced Member
Member # 3738
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posted
Good points EG, I like what you said. Shabbat Shalom.
Posts: 1238 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Aug 2004
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Eduardo Grequi
Advanced Member
Member # 3984
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posted
Sex is too over rated. However, sex before marriage is a sin and so is adultery. I personally would like to go back before I was married and stay committed to God only. Believe it or not I am separated from my wife, but we as a couple came to realize that sex when taken out of its context becomes a god unto its self. It is interesting to know that the nation of Israel was founded on polygamy. One Man and four ladies. No wonder, the middle east is so messed up. The four women that built the nation of Israel are LEAH, RACHEL, ZILPAH, AND BIHAH.
Imagine if Abraham would concretely stood by God's Providence and not have sex with the maid.-Isreal would have been better off.
If you haven't taken time to read the book of Genesis-you should.
Ladies and Men serve God, Serve Him, He will bring you to marriage.
What I come to realize, if a man or woman pressures someone to have sex, I QUESTION THEIR FAITH AND TRUST IN JESUS THE CHRIST. If your beau doesn't respect your no to sex- then that person is not the person for you. God has written the blue print, we just need to pray to Him, serve Him and obey his word.
I would rather have four good friends then one messed up relationship.
Also remember, love has nothing to do with trust.
God loves us, truly He does, but does not trust us- because of sin and our ability to do it so well. IF GOD WOULD HAD TRUSTED ADAM AND EVE, then He would have left the tree of life in the Garden. His omniscience saw man's inability to follow.
TRUST IS SOMETHING THAT MUST BE EARNED AND NOT ASSUMED.
I LOVE MY WIFE, AND IT HAS TAKEN MANY YEARS OF GIVE AND TAKE AND SERVENTHOOD FOR ME TO TRUST HER, WITH MY LIFE AND VICE VERSA. IF YOUR BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND IS NOT A BELIEVER OF THE SAME CHURCH OR JUST OUT RIGHT AETHIST, DO NOT BE YOKED TOGETHER. IT IS HELL! I know , I AM THERE! AND BOY WHAT I HAD TO PAY, FOR THIS JUMPING INTO THIS SITUATION. IN TIME WE AGREE TO DISAGREE, I AM CHRISTIAN-JEW AND SHE IS CATHOLIC.
CATHOLICS ARE JUST AS BOUND TO TRADITION AS THE JEWS, AND ISLAMICS ETC..
I BELIEVE IN "SOLA SCRIPTURA"!!!!
WHAT IS MORE DANGEROUS? THE TONGUE OR THE HEART!
WHAT IS MORE FRAGILE? THE HEART? THE TONGUE OR THE SPIRIT (ZEAL)?
lOVE IS PATIENT AND KIND, BUT MAN LACK THE ABILITY TO LOVE THE WAY GOD HAS DEMOSTRATED.
Posts: 771 | From: Belvidere, IL | Registered: Oct 2004
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Pleasemaranatha
Advanced Member
Member # 5150
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posted
LADIES keep praying for the christian man to come into your life soon that will honor your vows. I will add my prayers to yours. There is hope.
3 months ago after my son prayed for days in a very sincere manner....God brought a christian woman who will not have sex before marriage either. She has 3 kids from other marriages and is 30 like my son. My son has never been married or had any children but he loves hers so much and is ready to ask her to marry him. He respects her choice and admires her more than anything for waiting.
God has christian men out there for you and will bless your obedience.
Praise God for what HE is about to do for you both. Just keep the faith. ![[thumbsup2]](graemlins/thumbsup2.gif)
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My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning. Psalms 130 verse 6
Joyce
Posts: 308 | From: Missouri | Registered: Oct 2005
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saved1948
Advanced Member
Member # 5391
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posted
Keep saying "No". It will be worth it in the future. For Christ,you and your daughter.<><
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John 3:16+6\[/p..................For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son,that whoever believed in Him should not perish but have everlasting life
Posts: 52 | Registered: Dec 2005
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je_suis_aimee723
Community Member
Member # 5583
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posted
God has someone picked out for you and you are doing God's will so I am sure that you will find the person you are supposed to be with. Just don't be shy. Hold your head up high and stick to your principles that is the only way you will find someone who loves you for who you truly are and someone who respects your faith and beliefs.
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"We are what we pretend to be so be careful what you pretend to be" -Kurt Vonnegut
Posts: 10 | From: Boulder, Colorado | Registered: Mar 2006
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cici420
Community Member
Member # 4925
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posted
My name is Cindy and I am 39. I too have made a vow not to have sex again until I am married. I have lived with guys in the past but have never gotten married.
I have always believed in God but I did not act Christ-like. I started looking at other people's marriages and relationships and I thought I want something different. I want to do it God's way.
Marriage is one of the most important things you can do in life but most don't put that much thought into it nor do they pray about it.
I believe God will bring me a mate but I must have myself in order and I must also pray for my mate and it will happen in God's time.
Take this time to work on yourself and your relationship with Jesus and the rest will come. God knows the true desires of your heart.
I bought myself two rings. One looks like a wedding ring and the other says purity. The wedding ring is my commitment to God and the other is to keep me pure in thought and to keep my vow.
I think waiting to have sex until your wedding night is a beautiful thought.
Be patient and pray...
Posts: 16 | From: Ft. Myers | Registered: Aug 2005
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lambouths
New Member
Member # 4917
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posted
Shadowmaker,
We are far apart.
Posts: 4 | From: Michigan | Registered: Jul 2005
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lambouths
New Member
Member # 4917
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posted
Seraph,
Thanks for sharing. I think the both of us are getting impatient and making bad choices. I should expect this behavior from non-christian men but even the so-called christian men have put pressure on me, making all kinds of excuses to justify the situation. I will try to keep in my mind that God's timing is perfect and I must wait on him. Take care.
Lisa
Posts: 4 | From: Michigan | Registered: Jul 2005
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shadowmaker
Advanced Member
Member # 3696
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posted
Are you 2 close to one another? And no, I m not being funny.
Posts: 272 | Registered: Jul 2004
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Seraph
Advanced Member
Member # 3906
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posted
Lambouths,
I'm facing a simliar situation to yours as a guy. The non-christian girls I have dated just don't see things the way I do as a christian (A guy who doesn't want to have sex..they say!!!). However, I know that there is a women out there for me who is my perfect partner...a true women of God! I must admit I sometimes get impatient in waiting for her, but then I always tell myself...God's timing is perfect.
God Bless ya!
Posts: 62 | From: Ireland | Registered: Sep 2004
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Carmela
Advanced Member
Member # 4817
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posted
Lisa you are an encouragement to others that feel that as you do. You may touch more people's lives then you even realize by sharing your story here. I appreciate your honesty and being so open.
God says that your body is a temple. His temple. So you are right, we should be treating out body as a sacred temple, not something to just pass around from one person to the next.
I heard someone tell a story on the Christian radio a while back. He was saying how he and his wife have raised their daughter telling her that she is a precious stone. Her mother and father have spent years trying to raise her right and help her become a polished, precious stone. They would like to see her marry a man that isn't going to tarnish that stone but to help polish any other rough edges so she will continue to shine.
I see this for you. God is polishing you and working away rough edges and I'm sure that the man God has for you will be a man that will continue to help you shine. Sometimes it isn't easy waiting for God, but I can guarantee you that it's worth the wait.
When I was praying for a mate I asked God prepare his heart for me and to prepare my heart for him. God will bring you together when you are both fully prepared for each other.
You are precious to HIM! Lean on him and don't trust in your own understanding. Sometimes it seems like God just isn't hearing us, but usually that is because we don't want to wait any longer.
You are a precious jewel and as God polishes you or maybe adds pressure sometimes so you will shine more, you will start to see this.
Don't settle for less. God has someone that He is already preparing for you.
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www.pinecrest.org
Posts: 646 | From: Central New York | Registered: Jun 2005
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lambouths
New Member
Member # 4917
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posted
Thanks Betty for the words of encourgement. I tell men right away that I am not into premarital sex and I am a christian. It's obvious I'm not a virgin but I have now decided to respect my body in the way God intended. Men start off pretending to be O.K. with it but when they see that I am not going to cave in, they disappear. I go to a very small church and a lot of these issues just don't get addressed. The world sees nothing wrong with premarital sex and I see a lot of churches turning a blind eye to it. I would love to meet a guy who would like to wait until marraige. Where are they? But like you said, I need to wait on God and not be looking for a mate.
Lisa
Posts: 4 | From: Michigan | Registered: Jul 2005
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TEXASGRANDMA
Advanced Member
Member # 847
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posted
You would be surprised the number of letters Ann Landers get from men who want to wait until marriage for sex and are pressured by women. So, hang in there God has the right person for you. Don't go looking for a mate, but pray that God will bring him to you. OF course you need to be in suitations where you will meet people. Go to Church, become invovled with Church activites. Does your Church have a singles class? But don't give up. God will bring that special person. Like I tell my son. There is a single woman out there praying for him and he doesn't even know her yet. He is 29 by the way. (LOL) When you date, date only Christians. God does not want un-equally yoked Christians.
betty
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Luk 21:28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.
http://www.indieheaven.com/artists/mm (son-in-law)http://www.myspace.com/mireles
Posts: 4985 | From: Washington State | Registered: Jan 2003
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lambouths
New Member
Member # 4917
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posted
I'm looking for some encourgement from a true christian standpoint. I am a 30 year old divorced women with one child and I have decided to follow God. All my life I have had sex before marriage. Now I want God to choose my mate and I want to do things the right way. It is very hard. I've never been so rejected in the dating scene. I'm a very attractive women and I get approached all the time, but it is amazing how many men run away from a christian women who is adament about not having sex until marriage. I pray to God to give me strength but the more rejection I receive, the worst I feel inside. Now I'm afraid to date because I fear the same outcome.
Posts: 4 | From: Michigan | Registered: Jul 2005
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