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Author
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Topic: Sex before marriage
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psalm119
Community Member
Member # 4056
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posted
Hi!I know I'm new here, and just trying to jump in..
I, too, believe sex outside of marriage is wrong. Something interesting to think about. Jesus shed His blood for us, we are His bride. (and I don't mean to get graphic here) When a virgin first has sex, there's the shedding of the blood, and that joins her to the man she is having sex with (I believe someone mentioned they become one). That is a bond, and is spiritual. That is indeed why it is so difficult when one gets divorced even. The very soul of them is being torn apart and ripped away. That is where the term "soul ties" comes from. God never intended divorce, and certainly meant sex for marriage. I know there was not an official paper ceremony in the OT, but they still had their marriages.
Just my thoughts on this early Saturday morning ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
God bless.
Psalm119
Posts: 7 | Registered: Nov 2004
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helpforhomeschoolers
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Member # 15
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posted
TexasGrandma: I love You! Your crack me up! ![[roll on floor]](graemlins/6.gif)
![[hug]](graemlins/hug.gif) TexasGrandma & Brother Dale Agree!
![[clap2]](graemlins/clap2.gif) This is indeed a day that the Lord hath made, eyh?
![[wiggle7]](graemlins/wiggle7.gif) Let us be glad and rejoice in it!
Posts: 4684 | From: Southern Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: Jun 2002
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Favor Minded
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The Old Testament prescribes severe punishment for those who disdainfully regard marriage's privileges and responsibilities.
One of the Ten Commandments states, number seven states "You shall not commit adultery" Exodus 20:14, and the law required that those convicted of adultery receive the death penalty (Leviticus 20:10).
The New Testament does not require capital punishment for adultery, but assures that "God will judge" those who are not married who indulge in that sexuality which God has reserved for marriage
Hebrews 13
4Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral..
Sexual impropriety resulted in expulsion from the church
1 Corinthians 5
1It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that does not occur even among pagans: A man has his father's wife. 2And you are proud! Shouldn't you rather have been filled with grief and have put out of your fellowship the man who did this?
And Paul warned of those who, with empty words, led others into immorality
Ephesians 5
5For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person--such a man is an idolater--has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.[1] 6Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient.
Eternal judgment awaits those who practice immorality and fail to repent
Revelation
14"Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city. 15Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.
God's positive plan for marriage instructs, "Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord," and "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her"
Ephesians 5 Wives and Husbands
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
Notice that the relationship between husband and wife is patterned after the eternal relationship of God to His people, and not merely after the social customs of the ancient world. Adherence to God's instructions brings such blessedness and depth that all deviations from His plan appear revolting indeed.
Christians must admit that there are numerous customs relating to both weddings and marriages that have no Scriptural support, but have arisen from cultural or religious traditions. The existence of such customs, however, does not warrant abandonment of the standards that the Bible does set.
Also, since governments have realized that a nation's families are one of its greatest resources, most all have laws regulating marriage and divorce. In the Biblical record, marriage was considered a family function, before the Lord, and the involvement of government was either nonexistent or not significant. As long as government regulations do not force believers to violate Biblical standards, believers MUST continue to comply with them for the sake of their testimonies and to honor God in civil / local laws (i.e., marriage license laws).
Titus 3 (A letter from Paul to a young pastor of the churches of Crete)
Doing What is Good
1Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities (Magistrates), to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, 2to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.
3At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. 4But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, 5he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, 6whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. 8This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.
9But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. 10Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. 11You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.
Again - Hebrews 13
4Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. 5Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."[1] 6So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"[2] 7 Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. 8Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
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LaurieFL
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posted
The Bible is definitely very clear on this. The words fornication, immorality, and adultery both refer to any sexual relations that take place outside the context of marriage. It is easy to do a word search on it to learn more.
The reasons for the mandate are not to take away our "fun" though. It is because committing the act outside the bonds of marriage can cause such destruction in your life and the life of others, and also because the act within the confines of marriage is so sweet and special that God does not want you to miss out on that blessing.
Posts: 700 | Registered: Aug 2004
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TEXASGRANDMA
Advanced Member
Member # 847
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posted
you will need to sit down for this. I too do not believe in sex outside the marriage bed.
BHL we actually agree on something. ![[Razz]](tongue.gif) ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
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Luk 21:28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.
http://www.indieheaven.com/artists/mm (son-in-law)http://www.myspace.com/mireles
Posts: 4985 | From: Washington State | Registered: Jan 2003
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becauseHElives
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Member # 87
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posted
No I said burn in hell and I meant burn in hell!
Easy Beleivism is sending multitudes to an eternal hell.
Matthew 5:28-30
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast [it] from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not [that] thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast [it] from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not [that] thy whole body should be cast into hell.
Mat 18:9 And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast [it] from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.
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Mar 9:47 And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire:
1 Corinthians 7:9--In reference to the unmarried and widowed Paul said, "If they cannot have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn." If someone has a problem with sexual self-control and they has a strong desire to get married, he or she ought to get married and not claim to have the gift of singleness.
While enkrateia refers to sexual self-control, porneia, its antonym, refers to a lack of sexual self-control.
Its usage
Porneia refers to sexual behavior that goes beyond the limits God sets. The term encompasses any kind of sexual sin, and can refer to adultery, premarital sex, homosexuality, bestiality, pedophilia (sex with children), prostitution, and anything else that exhibits a lack of sexual self-control. The Greek word graphe, which means "to write," combined with porneia gives us the English word pornography.
There's no place for any of those sins in the life of a Christian. Paul said, "Let [them] not be once named among you, as becometh saints" (Eph. 5:3). Paul said to the Corinthian church, "It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you" (1 Cor. 5:1). Instead of being broken about it, they were "puffed up, and have not rather mourned" (v. 2). Then he said, "Your glorying is not good.... I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one, no, not to eat" (vv. 6, 11). Fornicators are to be put out of the church because they don't walk as children of God. Instead they are spots and blemishes on the assembly (2 Pet. 2:12-14).
"Uncleanness"
The Greek word translated "uncleanness" (akatharsia) is used eleven times in the New Testament. Jesus used it to refer to the vile, rotten stench that occurs when a body decays (Matt. 23:27). The other ten times it is connected with sexual evil--the vile, rotten stench that accompanies sexual sin. It refers to immoral acts, thoughts, passions, and ideas. The world may view their immorality as love, but Paul accurately defined it "uncleanness."
Sexual Immorality in the Church?
http://www.biblebb.com/files/MAC/sg1932.htm
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Strive to enter in at the strait gate:for many, I say unto you will seek to enter in, and shall not be able. ( Luke 13:24 )
Posts: 4578 | From: Southeast Texas | Registered: Jun 2002
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helpforhomeschoolers
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Member # 15
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posted
Sex outside of marriage is the sin of fornication. The scripture says this about fornicators:
1 Corinthians 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
But fornication can be repented of and for those who are IN Christ, forgiveness can be asked of GOD and will be given to those who ask in HIS Name.
But I think it is important to know that sex outside of marriage is not forbidden because sex is bad. Sex is a gift of God intended for a man and his wife. GOD created woman out of man. He opened the side of man and took out of him the things that GOD used to fashion woman. Then he presented Eve to Adam, the perfect gift, a help meet.
He designed them that they would then come together and be ONE flesh through sexual union. THis and marriage are a flesh or earthly picture of a spiritual relationship. THe relationship of Christ and HIS church bride. Spiritually, we are in HIM and HE is IN us. We are one body with Christ who is our head.
Marriage and all that comes with it including sex is supposed to be a glorious thing...a covenant thing, and earthly institution that speaks of a HEavenly relatioship.
In our physical design differences, GOD created us with the ability through sex to make a blood covenant with the person that is to become our mate for this life.
When we give our virginity away to someone that we have not chosen for marriage we also give away something very precious that was intended for this blood covenant.
So you see that marriage and sex are very sacred things. THey are gifts from GOD.
THis is why the enemy that is Satan desires to pervert them with lust and through lust to trick us into squandering the precious GOD given gift that they are.
I noticed that you are 17. I hope that you have not already given away the gift of virginity that GOD intends you to give to your wife someday. If you have not, I pray that you will keep it and treasure it and save it for her. I hope that you will find the wisdom to love her who you may not have met yet enough to want to give to her this precious gift that GOD intrusted you with.
If you did not know these things about marriage and sex, and you have given this gift away, then I pray that you will as GOD earnestly to forgive your ignorance and your sin and that you will now that you know it is sin, repent from it and not sin again. If you will do these things, then through whom ALL things are possible will wash clean your sin and remember it no more. And restore to you the gift that you once had, so that you can enter someday a covenant marriage and experience all the glory that is found there and that GOD intends you to have.
There is no sex that can be had outside of marriage that can compare with the gloriousness of sex as God intended it in a covenant marriage. Do not sell yourself or your furture wife short of the greatness of what God desires for you.
Posts: 4684 | From: Southern Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: Jun 2002
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HisGrace
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quote:
Originally posted by becauseHElives:
Paul said it is better to get married than to burn in hell for eternity.
I hope you don't mind but I am going to correct this one thing that you said.
The scriptures say:
I Cor. 7:9 But if they can't control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It's better to marry than to burn with lust (not in hell as you said.)
That would be a pretty harsh sentence for a dedicated believer, especially since it would be done in the heart and not in the actual flesh. The Bible says that whatever is left undone, will be purified in a twinkling of an eye on death or during the Rapture. Sin is sin, and there are many other day-to-day sins like resentment and pride that born-again Christians commit, and have to be constantly purified, and we wouldn't burn in hell for them.
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becauseHElives
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Member # 87
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redkermit,
Jesus said to just look on a woman to lust after her is sin. He has already commited adultery in his heart.
and Adulterers shall not inherit "eternal life"
Paul said it is better to get married than to burn in hell for eternity.
There are many people that think you can play with sin and still be part of God Kingdom.
I tell you all, they are deceived and have not the Spirit of Christ.
Sex before marriage is a sin, and sex after marriage with anyone other than the one that one have been made one flesh with by God is sin.
To repent is to stop the sin whatever it is and not to return to it.
Jesus said to the woman caught in adultery, I forgive you, go and sin no more.
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Strive to enter in at the strait gate:for many, I say unto you will seek to enter in, and shall not be able. ( Luke 13:24 )
Posts: 4578 | From: Southeast Texas | Registered: Jun 2002
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HisGrace
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quote:
Originally posted by redkermit:
I was recently speaking with someone about this very issue. She told me that someone she works with, who happens to be a minister, said that it is a "personal issue between you and God".
Doesn't this woman realize that they become as one flesh? ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
Genesis 2:24
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Mark 10:8
and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one.
They are as good as married in God's eyes. I think that is why a lot of couples who live together have such a hard time breaking up, if it doesn't work. They have formed a very strong bond. They think they can just walk away if there is no little piece of paper, but it looks very difficult from what I have seen.
Another eye opener -
Corinthians 6:16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."
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redkermit
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Member # 4059
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posted
I was recently speaking with someone about this very issue. She told me that someone she works with, who happens to be a minister, said that it is a "personal issue between you and God". I found this astounding, and did a little researching. I found much of the scripture referring to sexual immorality in general, but nothing specifically speaking to pre-marital sex. If someone has more scripture than what is referenced previously, please post! Thanks.
And, as to the subject of the thread, I believe it is a no-no for many reasons, but am looking for more scripture to back it up.
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I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. (Ps. 84:10b)
1 John 2:6
Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.
Listen Online:
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Posts: 604 | From: Michigan | Registered: Nov 2004
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LaurieFL
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Member # 3794
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posted
I encourage you to endeavor to remain pure. The effects of sexual immorality are far-reaching, through the many years of your life. The potential physical effects are well-knwon of course, disease, pregnancy, fatal illness even.
I believe the more profound effects are spiritual, mental,, and emotional. The more immorality you have participated in before marriage, the more likely it is that your marriage will be sexually unfulfilling and that you will have problems even showing normal, non-sexual physical affection toward your spouse (hugging, kissing, cuddling).
My pastor said one time that basically you are destroying your soul every time you give that piece of yourself to someone who is not your spouse. He leads my church to step out and not allow dating amongst the unmarried teens, so that we cna help them to avoid the destruction caused in lves as a result of falling for this temptation. (I am not certain how he thinks we should handle unmarried adults who are 25+, but I know he doesn't think a man and a woman should be alone together unless married to each other).
Believe me, I know how hard it is to refrain from fornication. I speak to you and implore you as one who still suffers the effects of my unwillingness to follow this mandate of the Lord. I know hat now I am forgiven, as I did repent and ask forgiveness for the sins, but as I said - the effects are far-reaching.
I pray for you and hope you will lean on God to help you face and defeat ALL the temptations you have to deal with as a young person in this Godless and immoral society in which we must live.
Posts: 700 | Registered: Aug 2004
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Crusader
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Member # 4035
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posted
**** . . . Thats some pretty good evidence WhiteEagle. ****
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Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner, and unless you save me I am lost forever. I thank you for dying for me at Calvary. I come to you now, Lord the best way I know how, and ask you to save me. I now receive you as my Savior. In Jesus Christ Name, Amen.
Posts: 19 | From: Tallahassee | Registered: Nov 2004
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Ripp
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 ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
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WhiteEagle
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Member # 3728
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quote:
Originally posted by Crusader:
What does the Bible say on this? Is it ok or is it a no no?
The Bible directly teaches that all sex outside of marriage is wrong.
Paul addresses sexual immorality in 1 Corinthians 6:12-20. It continues in 1 Corinthians 7 the entire chapter gives guidance regarding sex outside of marriage and about marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:9 "But if they can not exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
The Bible uses the word "fornication" to describe sexual acts outside of marriage. Paul warns against this as sin, and in 1 Cor.6:18:
"Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a person does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body."
I will be the first to state that this is very very difficult to follow when one is in their teens and twenties and thirties, and perhaps even forties. Usually most people who will marry seem to get married by the time they are in their late 20's.
In the movie, The Patriot" there was a scene that showed Gabriel (Mel Gibson's son in the movie) going to "call" on a young woman he liked. The couple met privately in a room of her parent's home, but not before the mother of the young woman had sewn Gabriel up in a sack, so only his head was out. He couldn't move his arms or legs or do anything "improper" while calling.
Evidently this was a custom in colonial times.
While that seems extreme, it really isn't, as we all know how difficult the temptation IS.
Posts: 1392 | From: Maine | Registered: Aug 2004
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Crusader
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Member # 4035
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What does the Bible say on this? Is it ok or is it a no no?
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Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner, and unless you save me I am lost forever. I thank you for dying for me at Calvary. I come to you now, Lord the best way I know how, and ask you to save me. I now receive you as my Savior. In Jesus Christ Name, Amen.
Posts: 19 | From: Tallahassee | Registered: Nov 2004
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