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Author
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Topic: Why did God make me unattractive?
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Trafield
unregistered
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posted
Dev, it is not about us...it is about Him.
As it has been posted above, God sees you as beautiful, and he created you for a definate reason and purpose. If you feel you do not have a beautiful exterior, then thank God! For we are called to be humble, not conceited, proud and arrogant. Those that have what the world perceives as exterior beauty can become conceited. They can spend their lives living in the flesh and living for the world instead of coming out of the world and being seperate as we are commanded. Where the Scriptures tell us not to become conceited with our wealth, it can also apply to our own physical appearance.
So we should all take our focus off of our own beauty, or lack thereof, and focus on the beauty and the glory of our loving Father, who gave his own Son for us that we might have eternal life.
Galatians 5:22-26
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
24Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
25If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.
26Let us not become boastful, challenging one another, envying one another.
1 Timothy 6:12-19
12Fight the good fight of faith; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called, and you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.
13I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Christ Jesus, who testified the good confession before Pontius Pilate,
14that you keep the commandment without stain or reproach until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ,
15which He will bring about at the proper time—He who is the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords,
16who alone possesses immortality and dwells in unapproachable light, whom no man has seen or can see. To Him be honor and eternal dominion! Amen.
17Instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy.
18Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share,
19storing up for themselves the treasure of a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is life indeed.
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Chuck_Slotter
unregistered
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posted
There are a lot of single people at my church which is a phenomenon in itself. Some of them just haven't found the right person and some don't want to accept just anybody.
Sometimes it is easier to get struck by lightning than to walk down the street and match any two people together. I think this is why there are single people at my church still.
If you make your own happiness and want to serve the Lord, I would suggest not to get married. Being married means that you have little time for yourself and you have to think of others.
It is also easier to be single and want to be married than to be married and want to be single.
You also have to learn to walk together with other people, if you are married.
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Rach
Advanced Member
Member # 1386
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posted
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"
I am not sure your question is a fair one to ask, because I seriously doubt God thinks you are unattractive. Maybe you think so, and maybe aspects of society have made you believe this to be true.
For a very long time I felt the same way. I was very eager to listen to the outside world, which didn't hesitate to tell me what was wrong with me. I could very easily tell you every little thing about myself, inside and out, that is unattractive.
I wanted to know why God would make a person like me. Then one day I realzied that God made a person like me, to do exactly one thing. To be me! I finally figured out that until I could accept me for who I am, that no one else would either. I had to stop listening to society's rules for who I should be, and just be who God intened for me to be.
After I accepted this, and believe me it was no over night feat, the people around me began to accept it as well. My appearence hasn't changed, but my inner appearence had. I had a new confidence in myself, and a direction.
That's not to say that I just completly ignored all of society's conventions. Sure, I still try to dress to certain standards, and I wash everyday... but I learned to be comfortable in my own skin.
Posts: 41 | From: NC | Registered: Apr 2003
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Chuck_Slotter
unregistered
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posted
Dev,
If having the right equipment was important then everyone in Hollywood wouldn't be divorced. And not all men look like superman and we all don't look good in tights.
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain but the woman who fears the Lord will be praised. Proverbs 31:30
I have taken a few "beautiful" women to lunch and dinner. What I can tell you is that sometimes good people come in bad packages and some bad people come in good packages.
What you need to do is to be a good dresser. Having expensive clothes isn't necessary. You want to wear deodorant even though you get a shower.
You want to say,'Hi' to every woman you meet. This gives you a greater chance at sparking up a conversation. You want to continue the conversation. You want to be friendly and polite but you have to learn to talk to people.. You have to listen to them and it is your job to smile so they feel comfortable. Women often shy away from men because they are scared of them. A lot of women are single by choice and a lot of women don't actively associate with men because men are outside of their circle of women friends.
Married men and women attract single people all of the time because they aren't threatening to a lot of people. Single people feel safe because they act content, happy, and not needy. That is attractive to single people whereas a single person who is hungry for love doesn't seem content or attractive.
I'd rather meet a Christian (II Cor. 6:14) than a barbie in hollywood anyday.
Walk around in the mall. Sit on the bench. Observe the married couples. Not all of them are good looking and they made it in marriage.
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becauseHElives
Advanced Member
Member # 87
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posted
About the man Linda referred to......
http://www.daveroever.net/v_main.html
Dave Roever was a young soldier in Vietnam when over forty percent of his skin was burned off by a grenade exploding in his hand. He instantly went blind in his right eye and deaf in his right ear. Roever's amazing testimony about not only his physical recovery, but his emotional and spiritual healing is one of the most dramatic you may ever hear or see.
http://www.christianvideoetc.com/217/325.htm?904
One thing I remember when hearing Dave give his testimony, was how scared he was when his wife was going to see him for the first time after the accident. He thought there was no way she would still love him, he was go grotesque looking, but praise God for real love. She embraced him and told him she loved him not the way he looked.
Gospel_Syntax , amen
Hello Dev,
I remember one other testimony that might encourage you. A young boy that had been raised in a Christian home, when he was about 12 years old was in a bad fire that disfigured his face severely. The doctor’s tried plastic surgery many times but the grafts would not take. This young boy became very bitter with God, his mother and dad were very worried about his over all outlook on life. They brought him to a “Youths in Conflicts” seminar, the preacher spoke on the importance of self acceptance. God's individual design for life for each person.
Things we have no control over.
After the meeting was over, the young man and his parent went to talk with the speaker.
The young man lashed out the preacher, he said that stuff is all well and good for some but look at me, I can not go anywhere without people talking about me.
The preach ask the boy if he would try something for him and see if it did not change his attitude about life. The boy after a time of talking, agreed to try what the preacher ask.
The preacher ask the boy to every morning, before he did anything else, to thank God for life, to praise God for loving him and caring about everything that happens in his life.
The young man did as the preacher ask, one morning (I think it was about a year later) after his time with God , the boy went to the bathroom to do the usual morning stuff. When he went to wash his face, he began to scream, his mother and dad came running to his room wanting to know what the problem was. He said look at my face, look. His scares were completely gone, he had been healed by the Lord in a moment.
But many miss the point, to his healing and the circumstances that caused the scares.
What we fail to understand a lot of the time is what Yahweh is doing in our life.
He can change every circumstance of our life in the twinkle of an eye.
But all things are for His glory, not ours.
Yahweh is changing us, if we are His children, into the image of His dear Son.
HEB 5:8 Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;
HEB 5:9 And being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him;
I have been unable to do anything for three years now because of a back injury.
We are at the point of bankruptcy, I don't understand the whys,
why did the ladder collapse?
why was there a X under me?
why doesn't Yahweh heal me?
the whys are endless
but I know He loves me and all things work together for the good of those that love Him and are called according to His purposes.
Take courage in HIM and know He loves you and is changing you to the image of Yashua
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Strive to enter in at the strait gate:for many, I say unto you will seek to enter in, and shall not be able. ( Luke 13:24 )
Posts: 4578 | From: Southeast Texas | Registered: Jun 2002
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helpforhomeschoolers
Advanced Member
Member # 15
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posted
Hi Dev:
Well first of all a greasy mop you can change with little effort. The weight you can probably change too, but with considerably more effort. God doesn't make us fat and God doesn't make our hair look greasy.
But some of us are born with asymmetrical features that the human eye doesn't find as attractive as symmetrical ones. This is true. Some of us don't have glowing clear skin or bright beautiful eyes. Some of us have drab hair color or unruly curls. ( I can certainly relate.)
Some are even born with disfiguring birth defects and serious physical limitations. Still others suffer disease and accident and tragedy in this life that changes our appearance and our physical ability. But the fact is that none of that changes the fact that God has a plan and a ministry for each of us.
God uses the events of our lives and even the physical attribute or lack there of that we have to bring blessing to others.
There us a black woman on TV, I cant think of her name, but she has a pretty disfigured face that is frankly difficult to look at, and yet God is using her to teach and to share the Gospel on national TV.
What about the guy who was burned. I used to see him when I used to watch TBN (I don't watch TBN anymore for lots of doctrinal reasons) but none the less this man is fat and he is terribly disfigured and he has a ministry that speaks to many who are less attractive than societies picture of attractive and says... "You are a child of God and HE can and will use you for his glory." By the way, I think he might also be married.
I have a friend who is a quad. She was born with an inability to process protein and it left her in a wheel chair, she has to be carried she has never stood on her own two legs or lifted her own cup to her mouth, but she is a wonderful witness for Christ and we tell anyone who will listen about HIS saving grace.
God doesn't make everyone physically beautiful, because if he did there would be none that could relate to and encourage and minister to those that become less than beautiful physically though sickness or tragedy in this life.
There has to be someone who understands how cruel kids can be, someone who understands loneliness, someone who witnesses that God can use even the most unlikely.
Our beauty doesn't come from our bodies or our perfectly symmetrical faces or our shiny white teeth and perfectly tame hair. It comes from HIS light that shines from inside us and makes us glow with the love of Christ for the sick and the hurting and the dying and the bound and the poor.
My advice is that you wash you hair, brush your teeth, put on a nice pair of well fitting pants and a shirt and go out and see ho you can bless. Visit a hospice and read the Bible to a person dying of cancer; go visit someone who feels life is without hope because they are stuck in jail; go find a nursing home with an elderly person who is alone and without family. Go find a special needs classroom that has young people who need to know that the teasing will end with maturity. GO PREACH the Gospel of Jesus Christ!
You just might find the wife that God has saved just for you in the process. But that my friend will be the serendipitous icing on the cake and not the cake. The cake is seeking HIS kingdom first. He knows all else that you need. And that includes earthly human friendship, acceptance and love.
Posts: 4684 | From: Southern Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: Jun 2002
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Gospel_Syntax
Advanced Member
Member # 2252
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posted
Greetings!
First let me say that the imagery you see on paintings is not what the real Jesus Christ looked like. According to Isaiah, Christ was homely!
"For He comes up before Him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground; He has no form nor majesty that we should see Him, nor an appearance that we should desire Him. He is despised and rejected of men; a Man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as it were a hiding of faces from Him, He being despised, and we esteemed Him not. Surely He has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted."
(Isa 53:2-4)
Not a very flattering description of the coming messiah, was it? He had no good looks with which to attract followers. The message Christ brought, his gospel, is what attracted the followers. Paintings done of Christ are all of fantasy, not reality. Few are accurate in detail. It is like watching the movie "The Ten Commandments" instead of reading the Bible to learn about it. Entertaining yes, but it has no truth.
Your post sounds like you've been alone for many years. I was 37 when I got married eleven years ago. Don't be impatient and rush into it. God will raise each of us up with his blessings when we least expect it. You claim to be one of his children as a Christian and he will provide what you need if you believe when you ask him in prayer. If you are just cruising then you may be alone or get together with the wrong person and have a miserable life. Your expectations of what you want in a spouse may not be realistic for someone to achieve. Reconsider your demands of people and see if you are too strict with others.
Looks alone are not what makes up the man. Women love us in spite of our looks and receding hair lines. Some gals like guys with alot of body hair and others think a pot-belly is cute! Go figure! What women really like in a guy is how well is his head together inside his mind. They can handle ugly, they can't handle ugly beating the stuffings out of them. Look at Charles Bronson's profile. That was one homely man but he made a career out of his rough and tough looks. What I'm getting to is this: If you treat yourself like you are too ugly, others will also. If you treat yourself the way you want to be treated, others will follow that line also. Improve your dress and visual lifestyle (that is, how you dress, comb your hair--your physical appearance to others). Make improvements to better yourself and you may see changes in how people address you.
![[thumbsup2]](graemlins/thumbsup2.gif)
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Gospel_Syntax
Posts: 21 | From: Wyoming | Registered: Oct 2003
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Dev
First Post
Member # 2243
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posted
First, let me say that I am a big fan of this site. Since becoming a Christian I have met with a lot of abuse from my 'normal' friends, and the intelligent debate and brotherly (and sisterly!) support I have read here has given me great strength.
Perhaps it's because I am somewhat a 'newbie' (I was not raised Christian, for which I do not blame my parents, even though they had plenty of chances to convert), but I have a question that I cannot answer. I'm sure The Bible addresses this topic, but I would appreciate being pointed in the right direction.
Let me explain.
I am not an attractive man. This is not an opinion, it is a fact. All my life I've been ridiculed for my weight, my greasy mop of curly hair and my misshapen and discolored teeth. At school I was called 'fugly Dev' which made me shed many a tear. Women do not take my advances seriously, even the plain ones, and I fear I will never sire an heir.
Why did God make me this way? Is my suffering part of His Great Plan? Or is my unappealing appearance Satan's doing?
I admit to the sin of pride. Sometimes I ridicule people who earn less than me, which isn't nice. But I feel very guilty about it later and often spend hour after hour berating myself in my online diary, sometimes with tears streaming down my crimson cheeks.
I've seen pictures of Jesus and he looks pretty handsome (not that I'm gay, no way). I can't help but think that if he'd have been more of a 'minger' he might never have had the self-confidence to accept he was the Son Of God. It's just not fair.
Do any other Christians have any similar worries? I've seen healers such as Benny Hinn cure people of throat cancer and leg-pains and I wonder if I could get some of that? Or should I just accept my 'fright-mask' face? Advice please.
Posts: 1 | From: new york | Registered: Oct 2003
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