|
Author
|
Topic: Where is the fellowship???
|
wparr
Advanced Member
Member # 891
|
posted
I've been trying but I feel like I'm banging my head against a very very thick brick wall ![[1zhelp]](graemlins/1zhelp.gif)
Posts: 1203 | From: Eagle Nest, NM | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged | 
|
|
db1boat
Community Member
Member # 2140
|
posted
![[type]](graemlins/type.gif)
Hello Salti
words of wisdom ![[spiny]](graemlins/spiny.gif)
Posts: 12 | From: Mo | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
Salti
unregistered
|
posted
Often the person who sees a problem in their church is the one who is gifted to fix it. The Lord is opening their eyes to what He wants them to do. I have done surveys of believers and have found that what they see lacking in their churches generally corresponds to their giftings.
Amazing isnt it? How the Lord places people together like pieces of a puzzle to so uniquely fit together. But it is very easy for a misplaced piece to notice the empty space and wonder why no one is filling it.
If the Lords is showing you something that needs done, perhaps it is because He desires for YOU to do it!
IP: Logged |
|
|
TEXASGRANDMA
Advanced Member
Member # 847
|
posted
Our home Church has about 100 on Sunday morning. But on Wednesday night it is about 20. We have Bible Study anyway. Our Church does not have Sunday night service. Our Pastor is not paid. He works a full time job and he is 75, so he needs to rest on Sunday night for Monday work. What husband and I do, is go to the Church down the road on Sunday night. We ended up making new friends and now on Wednesday night we go to our Church from 6-7 and then go down the road about a block and go to the other Church from 7-8. So we are doubly bless.
--------------------
Luk 21:28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.
http://www.indieheaven.com/artists/mm (son-in-law)http://www.myspace.com/mireles
Posts: 4985 | From: Washington State | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
wonderful_sky
Advanced Member
Member # 1808
|
posted
I attend what would be considered a small church, less that 100 attend most Sundays. I joined this church in January and know that this is where God wants me to be. I am somewhat frustrated with our "fellowship" though. We have this great Wednesday night service that includes a meal, which is followed by classes for the children, to my amazement, when May ended, so did the Wednesday night service. I was told that attendance was horrible in the summer and that it was best just not to have sevice at all. We were welcome to start a share group and could even host it at the church. There are no Sunday night services at our church, which actually works well for me, for I cannot always attend on Sunday night. But I still could not help but think of the people that can and those that might be led on Sunday or Wednesday night to go to church. I shared with the minister how I felt and he agreed that something needs to be done. As far as starting a share group, I would love to be a part of one, but starting one was something that I never felt led to do. We had no choir and I have volunteered to lead the choir, because I truely felt that God wanted me to be a part of the music ministry. I am 33 years old and have found that there very few members in my age group. Most of the people are in their early 50s and up. We have a large youth group, but some of them attend without parents. It is frustrating!!! I have prayed for our church many times, have volunteered when I felt led to. What has happened to the big churches on my youth? Where entire families went to church together? What can we do? I try to catch anyone that I see visting before they get out the door...not because I am always in the mood to, but because God shows me them and leds me to talk to them. God is alive in our church, but I think sometimes we turn out the lights and shut the door before HE is finished!!
In His continual service,
Sky ![[dance]](graemlins/dance1.gif)
--------------------
He who kneels down to God, can stand up to anything ![[Prayer]](graemlins/prayer.gif)
Posts: 220 | From: Missouri | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
SmileyD
Advanced Member
Member # 1743
|
posted
Rach...I agree with you. I sometimes let Satan allow me to have a "pity party" because maybe someone didn't say hi to me at church, or ask my family over some night for fellowship, or sometimes feel like I want to stay home from church just to see how many people ask where I was or why I wasn't there. That's sad. I really feel that is being selfish. Church should be where we fellowship with other believers, listen to what the Holy Spirit would have us learn, and see where we can minister to others. It is truly better to give than receive. I need to reach out to others. God has compassion on me over and over. I need to share that compassion with others. I think we as humans are looking for a perfect church and there is none!! There will always be someone or something that rubs us the wrong way. That's not why I attend church. Sure, there are times when I'd rather stay home and not fellowship or see what new little tidbit the Lord would have me learn about Him, but what would that do to help me? Nothing. Satan wants us to avoid church, fellowship with other believers at any time, not just church services...whether in a home or church building. I hope others that are reading this will not let Satan get the victory here. God is my strength. He's the one that helps us day in and day out as we face life's challenges. Other people can be a blessing to us as we fellowship together. Sorry for rambling on.
Posts: 24 | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
Rach
Advanced Member
Member # 1386
|
posted
I used to think like that- that it was the responsibility of the other people of the church to check in with me. That they should talk to me, invite me out- and show me in more than words that I meant something. Then I realized, that I wasn't doing that myself. Even though I am an introverted person, I took the time to call people, invite them to dinner- make sure I was one of the people I was looking for. Amazingly enough I found what I was looking for. Our church is only 3 years old. It has grown to over 400 people in those 3 years- we have days where attendence is greater than that. The people there have given me so much, including a piece of myself I had lost.
If you are leaving every Sunday, rushing and avoiding people, then maybe you need to be the one to reach out your hand, and make those calls. If you have tried that and it still isn't coming back to you, then maybe you haven't found your home.
Don't complain about it, do something about it. Find a place, and make it what you want it to be.
Posts: 41 | From: NC | Registered: Apr 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
TeachMe_Lord
Community Member
Member # 1581
|
posted
Knowhim,
Are you speaking of a home church that is part of an organization or not a part?
Or are you speaking of the House Church movement?
One has to be careful of the doctrine that is being taught.
http://www.cephasministry.com/houe_church_movement.html
--------------------
_ _ __________ _ _
Psalm 25
5 Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.
Posts: 8 | Registered: Jun 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
knowHim
Admin
Member # 8
|
posted
I have felt the same way and the below is a good article:
Why Do People Home Church?
---------------------------
by David M. Hebden
The reasons that people "home church" are as diverse as the people who make up the gatherings. This is not an exhaustive explanation and will no doubt evolve as time goes on. These thoughts originated from responses to this question on HCDL.
Some of us simply came to the conclusion that home church is the pattern as revealed in the scripture for the church to meet and were metaphorically dragged from the traditional "church" kicking and screaming by our conscience and understanding of the scripture.
We found that we could no longer support being part of an organizational structure that was not supported in the scriptures. For instance there is no biblical support for the one pastor/minister denominations that we see all around us where believers gather once or twice a week generally on a Sunday, face forward as in a cinema, and watch what amounts to a performance which they might be privileged to have a small part in. This just does not exist in the New Testament, where believers gathered in homes in smallish groups and shared their life and faith with one another face to face.
Not all of those who are lumped in with the "home church" label gather in a home. Some groups are a bit large for the average living room and so gather in a hall or some such. They don't call the building a church, however. Generally though we have in few if any paid "ministers" and no one person takes a central position in our meetings. All are free, and encouraged to take part in the proceedings. This leads to another reason some of us are in home churches.
Many of us over the years found that the established churches simply could not offer us real relationships and connectedness with other believers. (How can you fellowship with the back of someone's head whilst listening to someone up front conduct the service?) At best we found the relationships we were able to have (developed after the "service") to be superficial. We thirsted for more, but it was not to be found within the controlled structure of the "service." (Just who was being "served" by whom anyway?)
If we had something to share we were told to be quiet, and if we were actually permitted to share and it did not fit with the agenda of the minister or leaders we were in some cases simply ignored and in others all but destroyed by the attacks we endured in the name of "truth and unity" or whatever. All this because we simply wanted the opportunity to share with our brothers and sisters something of what the Lord was showing us or doing in our lives. We sadly, painfully left and have now found the delight of meeting face to face in homes or halls and sharing something of our lives and more especially His Life together.
Imagine our delight when we found that this was not only real but scriptural too. (We had been taught that the Sunday morning service was "church" and, that if we neglected this "gathering together" we were in dire spiritual trouble.) We found that gathering together a pile of building materials in one place does not make a building, rather they need to be fitted together and joined one to another. Even neat structured piles cannot be lived in, at best they offer temporary protection.
This leads us to another reason some of us gather in this way in homes. There is ample reason to do so basing our rationale on the scripture alone, for many this is sufficient reason alone and so it should be.
For myself and many others this is not the reason that we stay. It is not that we are not convinced that it is scriptural, of this we are in no doubt. It is the fellowship and life that keeps us. Nowhere else have we found the safety and simple freedom to share our lives in our Lord with others.
It is not always peaches and cream. Nothing ever is where sinful human beings are concerned. Indeed the organized traditional churches actually do a good job of protecting their adherents from one another simply because of the structure and the lack of opportunity for them to interrelate. This is not so in the home churches. We are eyeball to eyeball with one another. It can be very scary for the average person to find out that there is nowhere to hide. Yet we find out that while there is nowhere to hide, there is no need to do so because we are loved. Instead of defending ourselves from one another we learn to welcome each other into our hearts and in doing so become something more than a pile of building materials.
We do not lose our individuality but rather our love binds us together as we recognize it and accept one another as His gift to each other. We are given the divine privilege of loving and caring for one another. The barriers of pain and hurt take time to come down, but as they do, we find healing and strength in Him as He gives us to each other and in the midst of it all, Himself.
Here are a few Bible references to help along the way:
All of us minister, not just a particular person, and all are "priests": 1Cor. 14:26-33, 1Pe. 2.4-10, Rev. 1:6.
God has given multiple gifts and ministries: 1Cor. 12:7-31, Eph. 4:7-13.
We meet in homes, or wherever it's convenient: Col. 4:15, Rom. 16:3-5 and 1Co. 16:19 (same church), Philemon 2, Acts 2:46 (a convenient place that they could all get together until they were kicked out), Acts 4:31 (the place was just that, a place; the church was the people).
http://www.home-church.org/why-hc.html
--------------------
Plow on, plow on...
David Campbell
Posts: 426 | From: Charlestown, IN | Registered: Jun 2002
| IP: Logged |
|
|
Demonexecutor
Advanced Member
Member # 1516
|
posted
I'm sorry to hear that. I posted a copy of the thread on a couple other message boards to see if I was in the minority here. On both boards people are saying just about the same things that you guys are. I am really feeling blessed now that I realize that not all churches have the type of fellowship that mine has.
Marcia
Posts: 22 | Registered: May 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
TeachMe_Lord
Community Member
Member # 1581
|
posted
quote:
Originally posted by wparr:
James 2:
14 My brothers and sisters, what good does it do if someone claims to have faith but doesn't do any good things? Can this kind of faith save him?
15 Suppose a believer, whether a man or a woman, needs clothes or food
16 and one of you tells that person, "God be with you! Stay warm, and make sure you eat enough." If you don't provide for that person's physical needs, what good does it do?
17 In the same way, faith by itself is dead if it doesn't cause you to do any good things.
I agree with this verse, but should we complain about those who don't follow it? None of us are ever good enough. Do you do the good things you want others to do? Are you starving for fellowship? Do you have even one close friend who could help you figure out if there's anything about yourself or your spouse that really annoys people?
Proverbs 18:24
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly.
--------------------
_ _ __________ _ _
Psalm 25
5 Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.
Posts: 8 | Registered: Jun 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
wparr
Advanced Member
Member # 891
|
posted
James 2:
14 My brothers and sisters, what good does it do if someone claims to have faith but doesn't do any good things? Can this kind of faith save him?
15 Suppose a believer, whether a man or a woman, needs clothes or food
16 and one of you tells that person, "God be with you! Stay warm, and make sure you eat enough." If you don't provide for that person's physical needs, what good does it do?
17 In the same way, faith by itself is dead if it doesn't cause you to do any good things.
Posts: 1203 | From: Eagle Nest, NM | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
Primoa1970
Advanced Member
Member # 1016
|
posted
![[wiggle7]](graemlins/wiggle7.gif) My personal favorite is when you see whole families arguing in their car....and then they come inside and greet everyone with that "trying-to-smile-through-grinding-teeth" kind of look. But seriously, I think overall that people have good intentions when they say kind words to fellow christians in times of need or comfort. However it's one thing to say something, as opposed to actually doing it. We, as christians always want the truth from everybody we come into contact with. But sometimes I think that certain things are better left un-said. Would you rather lie to a person's face and say "So good to see you again" or maybe tell them the truth like "Oh....it's you again. I was glad when you left the church the 1st time. Why did you bother coming back?" Just a thought.
--------------------
1 John 1
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Posts: 639 | From: Orlando, FL | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
Praise Adonai
Community Member
Member # 1501
|
posted
One of the things that always makes me laugh is...and I am sure some of you have experienced this. Ever notice that how when you are in church everybody is loving and nice, but as soon as you get into the parking lot they are in such a hurry they cut you off, almost run you over, etc...Thats funny
--------------------
I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me.
Phil. 4:13
Posts: 11 | From: Texas, USA | Registered: May 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
TeachMe_Lord
Community Member
Member # 1581
|
posted
Marcia, small groups didn't help my husband and me.
--------------------
_ _ __________ _ _
Psalm 25
5 Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.
Posts: 8 | Registered: Jun 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
TeachMe_Lord
Community Member
Member # 1581
|
posted
I hear you, Mr. Parr. My husband and I experience the same. Could you invite someone to lunch and set a date? See if they take you up on it.
--------------------
_ _ __________ _ _
Psalm 25
5 Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.
Posts: 8 | Registered: Jun 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
Demonexecutor
Advanced Member
Member # 1516
|
posted
Are you guys involved in any small groups at your respective churches? I used to feel the same way. Then I came to realize that when a church has a regular attendance of over 700 a weekend, not to mention visitors, you most likely aren't going to make any deep connections. However, my small groups have been a different story. I am involved in two of them and am really good friends with the people in both groups. It is easier to build relationships in the more inimate setting of a small group.
As an example of how this has worked to make friends, take yesterday. After church I got to talking to a couple of people that are in my Sunday afternoon small group. It's a group for anyone in their 20's. We ended up going to the apartment of one of them and hanging out for a little while. Then we seperated just long enough to go grab our stuff for the bible study that we have at 2:00. When it was over around 3:00 we went over to a coffee shop that is close by and didn't leave there until we were kicked out when they closed at 5:00. We then walked back over to the church and were talking for another 15 or 20 minutes before I finally had to head for bowling.
As you can see, it is really easy to form close friendships in small groups because we are open and share our trials as well as our joys.
Marcia
Posts: 22 | Registered: May 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
art
unregistered
|
posted
Good post wparr,
And very sad indeed. I feel exactly they way you do. I get more fellowship from this board than from anyone at our little church. "How are you Art and Vicki ? We must get together sometime for lunch". We then say "sure, when?" And we get the old answer "We'll let you know" , but they never get back to us.
I was at a funeral for a member of the family and all our relatives were there. At least 7 or 8 of them stated" We want to keep in touch with you more, may we have your address?" So I give them my address, phone no. and email addy and say to them " I'll be looking forward to hearing from you".
Well a year has past and not one wrote or phoned, nothing.
But what it is , is plain old selfishness, too wrapped up in self to drop a note to a relative.
We are in the last days and the love of many shall wax cold. Church life generally has become a routine and we have lost the "JOY" of our salvation.
But praise the Lord for this board.There are some very sincere people here and I thank the Lord for them. Too bad they are not in our churches.
One other point. We have a christian website. We have asked our local christian friends to have a look at it and give us some feedback so we can make improvements if need be. Well, not one has even mentioned anything in a year and a half. And the ironic part is that an unbeliever from work heard we had a website and went in to it , spent much time in it, signed our guestbook and gave us some feedback on how it was laid out, but obviously said not too much about the gospel part, being not a christian.
So, I'm with you, my friend.
IP: Logged |
|
|
wparr
Advanced Member
Member # 891
|
posted
I read in the Bible how we are to love one another, to think of others more than self, to encourage and build up other fo the faith.
I hear so many Pastor preach about fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ. I hear them talk about "reaching out" to other.
I see writen in Church bulletins that they value fellowship and bringing in new people to their "circle"
Why do I, time after time, fail to see this materialize?
Why do I people come up to my wife and I in church and say "good to see you" or "I've been thinking about you" yet they never call, invite us over, or ask us out to dinner?
Why is it when you walk out of the church building, you are forgotten quicker than the door closes?
Why do I feel like such an outsider within the body of Christ?
Why do I have to come to the internet and post to total strangers to get any kind of fellowship?
Posts: 1203 | From: Eagle Nest, NM | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged |
|
|
|
Printer-friendly view of this topic
