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Author
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Topic: Disapline
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Paula
Advanced Member
Member # 551
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posted
This is a very sensitive subject with no easy answers. Although I did vote in favor of parents being able to spank their children as a form of discipline, I do have some serious reservations. Sadly, I've personally seen parents with anger management problems fly out of control and really hurt their children, physically as well as emotionally. Some of them even wound up losing custody of their children.
Belts, straps, broomsticks, tools, and other implements should never, ever be used as they can raise welts on a child and result in permanent scarring, broken bones, etc. I've seen these kinds of injuries many times; they're often used as legal grounds in child custody battles in divorce cases. Even one's hands can do serious damage to a child. Most judges don't view this kind of punishment very favorably, and are inclined to award custody to the parent who does not inflict it. Of course, if the injuries are serious enough, criminal charges can also be filed. Spankings are quite different than beatings, and the two shouldn't be confused. People with short fuses should keep their hands off children altogether.
Personally, I've always favored other forms of discipline whenever possible with my own kids when they were younger, such as grounding, withholding of privileges, etc., before resorting to spanking. I also developed what I call "the look," which often worked for me, LoL.
With the alarming upsurge in domestic violence and child abuse cases these days, fathers should set a good example for their sons and show restraint when disciplining their daughters. This type of discipline is best done by the mother, as men sometimes don't know their own strength and can inflict more injury than they intended. When a male child sees his father hitting his sister, he may get the message that it's okay for boys to hit girls, and possibly even do the same thing someday, perhaps to his own wife or girlfriend.
Posts: 90 | From: Arizona | Registered: Oct 2002
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wonderful_sky
Advanced Member
Member # 1808
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posted
I firmly believe in spanking children. Our baby will be 1 this week. He has had his behind smacked (wearing a diaper) since he started walking and getting into things. He is told no and his hand is smacked when no doesn't work. His behind is smacked when the first two actions don't work. I believe that children crave discipline. We no longer spank out 8 year old, it does not work anymore. Grounding and taking away privileges works best for her. The older three are 12, 14 and 15. They are too big to spank, they are bigger than me. But we ground them, make them do chores that they dislike and talk to them. I have raised all my children with using spanking as discipline. I do know that Missouri Family Services divisions frown on using anything other than the hand. Because of the inability to control the selected item. My mom was a caseworker and saw many children injured by belts, straps, and other items that were loose and really uncontrollable.
I do not believe in spanking in the schools and my children each have a letter in their records at school stating that they are not to recieve any kind of physical discipline. I know of children injured at school by teachers that were fed up with the child and took the frustrations out on their behind.
I think that in todays society there are too many people that think spanking leads to violence. Spanking leads to people thinking about the consequences of their actions.
Sky ![[dance]](graemlins/dance1.gif)
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He who kneels down to God, can stand up to anything ![[Prayer]](graemlins/prayer.gif)
Posts: 220 | From: Missouri | Registered: Jul 2003
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Chuck_Slotter
unregistered
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posted
I think that the early Jews memorized the book of Deuteronomy and it was the requirement of a King to write out the book of the law by hand before the king could rule.
I think that a lot of parents are tired and discipline out of anger or because they are tired. I also see parents who let their kids watch R-Rated movies and think it is alright.
I think there should be some measurement of righteousness in the parents and not some measure of self-righteousness before they discipline because this generation is clearly going to the dogs.
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helpforhomeschoolers
Advanced Member
Member # 15
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posted
BHL:
quote:
At what age are they to old ?
Most scholars agree that by 12 or 13 a child's social behavior is established, but a child is never to old to be corrected if the corrector is able to administer the correction. (case in point for me) when I was 17 I cursed my dad, he put his fist in my face, loosened all my front teeth (if I had not had braces I would have lost my teeth), tore my lips and bloodied my nose and informed me that if I was not happy with my home to hit the road. From that day to this, I have the greatest love and respect for my dad. “Sometimes the Heavenly Father administers harsh discipline to those HE loves”
Today, your dad would be arrested and you removed from the home for this.
I had a similar experience when I was about 14; I cursed my mother. My father was not around. My mother had me on the floor, her fist in my face and her knee in my chest so fast it made my head spin. She never hit me. She didn't need to. I had the message loud and clear and to this day I have respected her for doing that.
We do not today have the freedom to do this.
Posts: 4684 | From: Southern Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: Jun 2002
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capecodmom4
Community Member
Member # 2224
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posted
This is a subject that I have some problems with. Do I believe in spanking Yes, but not as a first resort. I do believe that grounding/timeout is the first thing that should be done. Even at a young age if the child is moving around, ie crawling, they can be told no if they are doing something wrong and be moved into a different area as a punishment. Spanking shouldn't be something that should be the first thing done.
Do I believe in using my hand to spank, I try, but because I have an injury in my hand I have no power to spank my oldest children without something else. I have used a wooden spoon because of this problem, but I use my non-domonate hand to inflict this type of punishment because that way I know I am not going to hurt them to much. I mainly want to get my point across to them.
As for a male spanking a girl and vice versa for a women when I lived with my husband he "disaplined" the children no matter which sex they were and I was expected to do the same. As long as he didn't pull down their pants I was not going to really argue with him about the fact that he over "disaplined" the children.
Spanking in school was taken out because of the abuse that some children were recieving from the adult in charge. Also some parents felt that the school was taking away some of their parental rights by disaplining their child. I don't want the teachers to have this responsiblity over my children. I do feel though that there are other ways for a child to be punished for their transgression in school rather than them just sitting in a classroom. Perhaps putting them to work with the janitor cleaning bathrooms or classrooms. What happened to a child having to clean the chalk boards and erasers as punishment. This is what I would rather my child get as a punishment for their doing wrong.
Posts: 18 | From: Cape Cod, MA | Registered: Oct 2003
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cynthia2003
Advanced Member
Member # 2470
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posted
I think that spanking is okay. I was spanked as a kid and it worked. I think spaking should be stopped at about 8 years though, because after that, it probably isn't going to work very well. I am 18 and the last time I was spanked was when I was about 8. I think it can be started at about any age, with exceptions. For instance babies. Like if a 1 and a half year old does some thing it isn't supposed to, you wouldn't hit it hard, but maybe a quick pop in the wrist(if he or she is touching something they aren't supposed to).
As for spanking in school, I am both for and against it. I think it depends on what the kid did. In school, I think they should make the parent fill out a form of what they believe their kid should be punished with a spanking. For example they can say if they want their kids spanked for cheating, fighting, ect. I say this because ther are some things a school would spank the kid for, that I wouldn't spank the kid for it.
Posts: 26 | From: USA | Registered: Dec 2003
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becauseHElives
Advanced Member
Member # 87
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posted
A quote from my son-in-law “ The trouble is to many parents are raising children, I am not raising children, I am raising children to be adults.”
The best book I have read on child training out side the Bible is
“What the Bible says about …. Child Training” by J. Richard Fugate
This is a great topic for a poll. I hope that everyone will participate. God Bless the Children.
At what age should you start spanking ?
When a child is old enough to understand the words yes and no, they are old enough to receive the rod of correction. You want them to understand yes and no so they do not hurt themselves, such as with a heater or some other dangers that little ones can get into. Start them early understanding you love them.
At what age are they to old ?
Most scholars agree that by 12 or 13 a child's social behavior is established, but a child is never to old to be corrected if the corrector is able to administer the correction. (case in point for me) when I was 17 I cursed my dad, he put his fist in my face, loosened all my front teeth (if I had not had braces I would have lost my teeth), tore my lips and bloodied my nose and informed me that if I was not happy with my home to hit the road. From that day to this, I have the greatest love and respect for my dad. “Sometimes the Heavenly Father administers harsh discipline to those HE loves”
should spanking be allowed in schools ?
I personally do not believe anyone except the parent or legal guardian should discipline a child.
It is one of the reasons I oppose public education, training of children was given to parents. In the case of orphans , the Church is responsible but they gave up that right to the “state” many years ago. But GOD still holds the Church responsible for the widow and the orphan.
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Strive to enter in at the strait gate:for many, I say unto you will seek to enter in, and shall not be able. ( Luke 13:24 )
Posts: 4578 | From: Southeast Texas | Registered: Jun 2002
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totall
Advanced Member
Member # 9
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by faithbuilders:
Do you think spanking is a proper form of disapline?[/QB/
Yes,(Prov 19:18 KJV) Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.
(Prov 13:24 KJV) He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
quote:
[QB]
If so, at what age do you start
at what age are they to old to spank
Do you belive in useing your hand
Do you belive male can spank girls, and female can spank boys
Do you think spanking should be alowed in schools
The first time they stiffin their back and cry because they are mad, mine son was about 6 months old when he go his first swat on the diaper, not hard but it sounded loud and he felt it. Disipline only works if administered at the onset and consistantly.
When using another disipline works better. My son now enjoys hunting and riding our atv, so grounding works well now.
I hardly ever use my hand because of the injury I could inflict a belt works good and it doesn't hurt my hand. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
I believe in Dads disiplining the kids, male or female and if I am not home I expect my wife to do the same. In school I don't care who spanks my kid as long as they deserve it and the person spanking is fair toward all.
One of our biggest mistakes was to take spanking out of our schools, at least then students were taught respect for their elders.
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totall
(Titus 3:9 KJV) But avoid foolish questions, and genealogies, and contentions, and strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and vain.
Posts: 54 | From: missouri | Registered: Jun 2002
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njclary
unregistered
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posted
the best reading on discipline I have ever read is from Dr. James Dobson, and I wish I had it when my children were small----would have saved a lot of mistakes.
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AhmaBeliever
Advanced Member
Member # 43
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posted
is useing disapline alowed ? yes ,( unnles itz four badd spelleen orr gramer . )
![[help]](graemlins/1zhelp.gif)
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John 14:27
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
Posts: 81 | From: Georgetown , Kentucky | Registered: Jun 2002
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faithbuilders
Community Member
Member # 839
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posted
Do you think spanking is a proper form of disapline?
If so, at what age do you start
at what age are they to old to spank
Do you belive in useing your hand
Do you belive male can spank girls, and female can spank boys
Do you think spanking should be alowed in schools
Poll Information
This poll contains 6 question(s). 40 user(s) have voted.
You may not view the results of this poll without voting.
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Posts: 15 | Registered: Jan 2003
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