drixane
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Member # 1783
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I’m 27 years old and have been living in various parts of the US over the last 5 years (4 states – 7 addresses). I was raised, baptized, and confirmed in a Polish National Catholic Church where I was an altar boy and choir member for a good number of years. I was always forced to attend church… mainly because my mother wanted to keep a good image for her parents (although I know her intentions were much deeper then that).
You could say one of my biggest vices and curses has been my scientific mind. I have always searched for answers with science as the foundation. As soon as I left my parent’s house for college, was the day I stopped attending church. While I thought myself at that time as an Atheist, in retrospect I was really more of an Agnostic. When people approached me about the Bible, I would prefer to debate them with scientific foundations forcing them to come to their final answers as “a matter of faith”. This answer always seemed to amuse me because it was not an answer that could win against a debate with scientific foundations against it. The rest of my college days were left to doing things that in retrospect I’m not considerably proud of and I shall leave it at that.
So… the question I ask myself is what caused the change? I don’t remember when I started to further in-depth try to grasp a better understanding on Christianity, although I think is was about 2 years after college, after my fiancé and I had split up and I moved to Georgia. I think it had part to do with getting involved with Everquest (a HUGE online game – if you haven’t heard of it, I’d be surprised). The game itself is very addicting and I started spending any time I wasn’t working or sleeping on it. When I moved to Virginia shortly thereafter, I continued with the addiction. However, a book entitled “Left Behind” struck my eye in a Sam’s Club of all places.
That book (and series) however fictional, put an entirely new perspective on things for me. It started forcing me to ask myself questions… many having to do with the validity of the scriptures and Jesus Christ. Employment (and again that darn game) kept me from looking a whole lot more into it. Within the year I was laid off and wound up meeting up with someone from the online game. I lived with her for two months and then wound up moving to Connecticut a few months later. This was last May (2002).
Our relationship didn’t work out… and once again, I contribute it to computer games (she was sadly as addicted as I). It is really amazing how much those games take your mind off all of the important things in life. You forget about friends, family and in this case God Himself.
In any case, I wound up moving back to Texas this past June. (Where I am now.) About the third week in June, I wound up meeting with a former professor and employer of mine who mentioned that the University was starting a “gaming design” program in Jan 2004 and was encouraging me to go for my masters in it. I was really psyched up about it and was thinking about plans, and classes.
Then the least expected thing happened. Within the week, I stopped playing computer games almost entirely. (Mind you... when I say almost entirely, I’m talking about going from 60-70 hours a week to 8-10 hours.) Everquest became a thing of the passed. I had devoted the equivalent of 150 days of consecutive play to that game in a little over 2 years. (that would be 150 days straight without eating, sleeping, working, watching TV, etc). I look back on it today and am still in awe.
The most recent book in the “Left Behind” series had come out that month and again in Sam’s Club I found it at the end of June. The entire lack of desire for computer games struck me as “I need a new hobby”. So I wound up buying the book, reading it in around 6 hours and then going to my bookshelf to pull out a couple books which had been sitting there for many moons. “More Than a Carpenter” – which was sent from my friend during a bout of depression I had in college, who totally devoted her life to Christ after high school. Also “Evidence That Demands a Verdict” – I don’t remember where I received this book from, but what struck me the most was that McDowell had originally tried to discredit the Bible rather then support it – until he realized he couldn’t and became Christian. (Which in some sense touches close to home.) Finally the “New Student’s Bible (NIV)” which was ironically given to me by the mother of the first girl I dated for 18 months in college.
Between all these resources something finally clicked inside me. At that point I recognized myself for the sinner I was and gave my life to Christ. 2 Cor. 5:17 is too incredibly accurate. I feel I’m leading a completely new life. The adult images I had on my computer, video tapes, and CDs all hit the trash. My desire for computer games has gone down to almost nothing… with the exception to the occasional game of solitaire/free cell etc. I have actually decided NOT to go back to college for the degree I was strongly considering. And my logic behind it is simply that I do not want to contribute to something that has kept me blinded from Christ.
With all that said, I’m now where I am today – a great new life! For the first time in decades, I never feel alone with God on my side. I have made friends with several people online and a couple through this great site. ![[updown]](graemlins/updown.gif)
And just as some insight for some of you parents out there with regards to computer and video games – my experience has led me to believe that any computer game or video game that can become so infectiously addicting is a work of the evil one - ONLINE MULTIPLAYER games especially!!! In retrospect though, there are certain games out there that can develop intellectual creativity, hand eye coordination, and faster reflexes. I attribute some of my “smarts” from games such as that. The biggest key to it is moderation and the nature of the game – and with what can be seen on television this day in age, Sonic the Hedgehog or Super Mario Golf is better then some of the programming out there. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Posts: 14 | From: Lewisville, TX | Registered: Jul 2003
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