Richard Hawkeye Hawkins
Community Member
Member # 1186
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Richard Hawkins, 20, is an A Level Student from Marlborough, Wiltshire.
Richard Hawkins is glad that he got caught “It was the point in my life when I really needed help and support” But he was very afraid and angry at the time…
It was during my third year at secondary school, I had always been a writer and now I began to write again, this time about my friends in compromising positions with each other. For ages I enjoyed doing this as people who didn’t usually like me flocked around me waiting for the next piece of writing, sometimes for free and other times for money, until the day that I got caught and almost kicked out of school. At that point I went back to my normal routine minus my friends who were all hurt and shocked. This was shown clearly when Louise yelled at me across the field “Pervert”, that continued over the year as people sought vengeance in terrorising me.
Around a year later, the events were still clear in my mind as people continued to bring up the subject, when a new person came to the school, her name was Naomi Herrod-Taylor she told me about Christ and her Christian life.
At the end of the exams we spoke again and Naomi told me about a study group which took place each week in the Devizes, where she lives. She then decided to invite me to the study and so I decided to accept not really knowing what I was letting myself in for.
“When I got home, nothing seemed right!”
When I got there I felt very uncomfortable and after a time it seemed as if all the study seemed to be doing was taking parts of my life and saying how bad they were. The study led by the pastor Jonathan Munday was about how Jesus died for each of us and could “come into our lives, tonight or now!” During the evening several people spoke to me but at that point I couldn’t even remember their names.
When I got home to the mess that was my world I looked around and found the bible I had been given by a Gideon in year 7 and decided to look through it. I found it awkward at first even finding the right place where we had read that evening but felt something was missing.
Over time I began to gain more knowledge and understanding, as during that summer I even went with Naomi and bought a new bible that was in the King James Version like we were using at the study that I visited every week. But at that point all I had was a bit of knowledge about how to be saved, but I wasn’t.
“After time passed the fire dimmed!”
It had been 2 ½ years and nothing had happened, I still went on Fridays and for a time on Sundays as well to the normal services, but things weren’t right until I saw a program on TV about the Alpha Course. To me it seemed like “American happy clappy healing faith”, after some time a poster was put advertising the course on a billboard outside of Newbury Station where I go to college. I decided to contact them via the website and find out more.
All the way through Alpha things began to be clearer as I found myself able to talk to people about my faith far more easily even in the lively debates we had during the course. The infamous away day then came along and I was able to attend. In the last part of the afternoon there was an hour of prayer. All around me people were crying and falling down so I closed my eyes and prayed blocking out all those around me.
“The tiger awakes!”
When the hour was over I prayed with Ralph a friend from the course about what had happened and for me. It then it was like a door, I had opened up to God and Jesus and they were now in my life. From then on I felt a daily need for prayer and scripture, I began to do daily readings on the train (only quiet time available). I even began to share my faith with people around college and on the net rebuilding my site as a Christian site and not a gaming site.
Each day I stay humble though as I didn’t deserve this love that he has for me, but I know that it will never dim, and since then I have struggled on occasions and haven’t quite got everything right yet, but I know that with the Lord at my side and through my faith in Him I have been able to do things I never thought I could.
As each time I read the scripture I gain more knowledge of Him and every time I pray I gain more from Him, I now can speak to whole crowds of people and present information in a way that’s accessible and can even help people online with their problems in the many Christian Prayer rooms and chat rooms.
Please share your testimony here as replies if you would like to, or if you have any questions:
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"This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners;" (1 Timothy 1:15)
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Many Blessings,
Richard "Hawkeye" Hawkins
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Posts: 13 | From: Wiltshire, England | Registered: Mar 2003
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