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Topic: Pastor Resigns Amid Sexual Misconduct Complaint
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HisGrace
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by helpforhomeschoolers:
Not too intellectually or spiritually mature, I think!
Yes, all she was worried about was fleshly revenge.
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helpforhomeschoolers
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Not too intellectually or spiritually mature, I think!
Posts: 4684 | From: Southern Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: Jun 2002
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HisGrace
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quote:
Originally posted by helpforhomeschoolers:
What about this woman who would sue the church unless he resigned...What about her?
As a godly woman, I would have wanted FOR him, freedom from his shame and bondage of his current struggle, I would have wanted GOD to forgive him and his congregation to rally around him and help him and I would not have written a letter, I would have gone personally first to him and then the elders if needed with my husband at my side. I would have prayed with him and prayed for him and cried with him and I and my husband would have stood with him before the whole congregation and beseeched them for forgive him. I would not have wanted his resignation or to have the power she excerted over this whole body with her threats.
Amen Sister Linda - who are we to cast the first stone.
My first reaction to the woman saying she wanted to sue the church, is that she probably wasn't too intellectually mature in her thinking. In our present-day society, as soon as anything goes the way we don't want, right away you hear the words "sue them". I believe she didn't know how else to react and didn't realize the impact of what she was saying.
Maybe she was watching too much Law and Order, or whatever.
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helpforhomeschoolers
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I think His Grace is right on this, Juanita did the right thing. Leaving would have been prideful and not the right thing, but I think the pastor was wrong.
I think that this Pastor in this original post who did sin did the thing he thought was best and that was good; but I think that the congregation should have asked him to stay.
I still would like to know what you think about the woman who threatened to sue the church?
This WAS MY original comment on her:
What about this woman who would sue the church unless he resigned...What about her?
Is this the right way to handle this situation? We do not have all the facts, but I could understand her stating first to the pastor that she would make known to the elders the situation unless he did..fine. I would have expected of him a public confession and repentence and asking of forgiveness for his duplicity; I would have gone to the elders if he refused and to the congregation if they refused, but sue the church?????? What is the issue here? What was her motive here? She wanted his resignation or she would sue the church?????? SHAME on her!
As a godly woman, I would have wanted FOR him, freedom from his shame and bondage of his current struggle, I would have wanted GOD to forgive him and his congregation to rally around him and help him and I would not have written a letter, I would have gone personally first to him and then the elders if needed with my husband at my side. I would have prayed with him and prayed for him and cried with him and I and my husband would have stood with him before the whole congregation and beseeched them for forgive him. I would not have wanted his resignation or to have the power she excerted over this whole body with her threats.
Posts: 4684 | From: Southern Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: Jun 2002
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hardcore
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I just saw this TexasGrandma - "They have no love for people and if they ever smiled their face would break."
You may not have meant it to be funny, but it made me chuckle!
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yahsway
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I agree. The pastor, his wife, and the whole assembly will need time to heal over this.
Posts: 1238 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Aug 2004
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Eduardo Grequi
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It is very sad, when as a person succombs to sin. Everyone who follows Jesus has recognized they are sinners. Isn't it funny how one sin builds upon the other. I can say I struggle with the choice to sin or not to sin. Anyway what defines sin? Billy Graham said at one ralley is anything that seperates us from God. There is the sin of ommission and sin of admission. People- we are sinners saved by the grace of God. Until Jesus raptures the church away or until we die- we will be tempted to sin. Believe it or not- it takes guts for a person to step and declare what had happen. Look at all these rape of children, teens etc.. that occur by people of authority or implied authority. Paul declared that he too struggle with sin and the temptations of sin daily. This pastor should go on a sabbatical with his family and heal. We as christian need to pray for each and every one involved. I personally am a surviour of nearkinsmen incess. People put over me (having authority) used their authority wrongly. Believe me it is no easy task for any person to come forward. People- if fellow christian refuse to allow healing, then they are refusing to all the miracle of Christ to further completing themselves in Him. We as human must not forget where we were before salvation, when we had backslidden and again when Christ steadfastness in the midst of it all, allow us to reach up and inward for full forgiveness and acceptace. HE THAT IS WITHOUT SIN PLEASE CAST THE FIRST STONE?
REMEMBER to strive forward with the full assurance that we forgive because we are forgiven, we allow healing because by His stripe we are healed. Healing comes in many forms but remember to acheive what Apostle Paul do say in 2 Timothy 4:7-8
I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith; HENCEFORTH THERE IS LAID UP FOR ME a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day; and not to me only, but unto all them also that love HIS appearing!
Posts: 771 | From: Belvidere, IL | Registered: Oct 2004
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HisGrace
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quote:
Originally posted by yahsway:
HisGrace, I agree with you, but Juanita wasnt preaching this was wrong, she was preaching that the church body needed to get back to holiness and she thought what the pastor did taught her a lesson in this.
I'm sure Juanita learned many lessons by humbling herself and being humbled. Humility is the only way the Lord can purge and cleanse us to make us whole. Sometimes these lessons can be learned from others' failings and through no fault of our own. We in turn are humbled by their hurts and take the opportunity to sanctify ourselves.
If she had "a thing" for this man she was talking to, the story takes on a whole different meaning. Otherwise, maybe it would be the loose tongues in the church who would have to get back to holiness. Really, I wonder if anyone else learned a personal lesson from this, rather than casting an accusing eye, including the pastor.
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yahsway
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Gotta Good point TG, I was worship minister for years, One Sunday Morning I came in a Polyester Pant suit which was blue with a white tutelneck underneath the suit Jacket. I got rebuked big-time for not weaeing a dress because I was a leader in front of the church.
The girl that rebuked me was the Adult Sunday School teacher who had an a Tube top where not only were her shoulders bare, you could see about 1-2 inches of her waist, and the skirt had the slit up the side.
I made my apologies to the pastor, it was his rule to wear a dress and I did break it, but with what everyone else was wearing and this did include his wife and our associate pastor(who is a woman) I deemed it okay for it certainly was a lot more modest than the revealing necklines showing cleveage and the slits up the sides and backs of their dresses. But, I broke the rules so I went back to wearing my dresses.
As for gossip, nope, I cannot stand that. I perfer to go to the source if i have a problem. Guess thats why i was considered the bad guy at church when I questioned why the members of our praise team and the Adult Sunday School teacher could serve drinks in the local bar and not make it to choir practice, why one lady had to tell the whole church she was getting a divorce from her husband because he wanted to move to FL and she did not but wanted to stay and play the piano so she divorced him. that sure was teaching our younger ladies about submission!
So I do agree with you. I see where you are coming from. But I also see a lot of things going on in the name of God in the church and no it is not only not holy it is down right unrightous. God may work on us as individuals, but when we come togethere as a corporate body or in a corporate setting, all things must be done in order. We do set an example in front of our youth and others, not to be "holier than thou" but we should set an example of somekind of holiness dont you think?
Posts: 1238 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Aug 2004
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TEXASGRANDMA
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There is such a thing as being Holy and putting on appearance of being Holy. I have known people in my life ( luckly just a few) who would have let people burn to death in a bar rather than open the door and tell the people to get out because the building is on fire.
Being Holy has never been something I strive for. I strive for living a life that is pleasing to God. Have I given up things in my life because God told me to? Yes. But I do not tell others to do so. I feel God will work with us as indivuals. When we start pulling the weeds out of others than we take a change on pulling out the wheat. I have seen first hand in my dad's family people who think they are better than anyone because they as women have never worn pants in their lives. Yet they are the biggest gossips in town. They have no love for people and if they ever smiled their face would break.
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Luk 21:28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.
http://www.indieheaven.com/artists/mm (son-in-law)http://www.myspace.com/mireles
Posts: 4985 | From: Washington State | Registered: Jan 2003
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yahsway
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HisGrace, I agree with you, but Juanita wasnt preaching this was wrong, she was preaching that the church body needed to get back to holiness and she thought what the pastor did taught her a lesson in this.
Posts: 1238 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Aug 2004
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HisGrace
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by yahsway:
Someone had seen her there and told the pastor. The pastor made her sit down on the front row for 1 year and would not allow her up in front to lead until that year was over. She also had to attend every Sunday and Wed and not miss.
He told her to not let her good be evil spoken of. He told her that her actions were a reflection on him as the pastor and on the whole church body. People outside the church would talk about them. This is what he meant by let not your good be evil spoken of.
The real culprit in this whole story got away scot free - the gossiper. Juanita was doing nothing wrong - she could have been ministrering to this person & I'm sure she didn't have a drink in her hand. I don't see even the "appearance" of evil here, only in the twisted minds of the Pharisees.
Jesus didn't care what people thought when he was among publicans and sinners, because he knew in his heart that he was trying to win the lost.
I am just wondering if this pastor "punished" her out of self-righteous pride or if he really believed he was doing it for the good of the church. Didn't he err because he listened to the words of a gossip?
I'm sure Juanita stayed in the church because she was willing to humble herself, and like Jesus, was crucified, "spat" on, and unfairly convicted for doing no wrong. Perhaps there were souls lost because her testimony was silenced for a whole year. Others, who might have been going through difficulties, wouldn't be encouraged and uplifted by her singing ministry.
As far as I am concerned, Juanita is the only real hero in this whole story. She chose not to be wrapped up in self-pity and bitterness, but instead obeyed like a humble servant.
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TEXASGRANDMA
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If I had been Juanita Bynum, I would have left that Church. When I was growing up the only place that sold ice was a bar in town. Everybody from Church stopped there and the men folks walked in and got the ice and we went home. No one ever thought we were sinners for picking up the ice.
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this reminds me of the joke where a lady that like to gossip told everyone at Church that a man that attended the Church was an alcoholic because he car was outside a bar. When someone pointed out that he was a plumber doing work there she said that if it look like sin it was sin. The next night the man drove to her house in the middle of the night and parked his truck in her driveway and walked home. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Luk 21:28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.
http://www.indieheaven.com/artists/mm (son-in-law)http://www.myspace.com/mireles
Posts: 4985 | From: Washington State | Registered: Jan 2003
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yahsway
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I would see no problem in that, or assistant youth pastor even. I was sad to hear that he left the assembly all togethere, for if he had stayed, then the Glory of God could have been made manifest even greater for those there in that assembly to see not only the power of the forgiveness of God, but His mercy also.
Like I said before, he certainly showed that he is a man of integrity and character and I pray only the best for him.
Posts: 1238 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Aug 2004
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saintbygrace
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yahsway you make some very very good points.
How about if he was an assistant Pastor under a lead Pastor?
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John 18:38
Pilate *said to Him, "What is truth?"
Posts: 112 | From: ball of God-cursed dirt | Registered: Feb 2005
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yahsway
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Sorry, I must whole heartedly disagree. im not saying God cannot forgive him or even I, but He still must be blameless, not so much for the ones who are already christians but for the ones outside Christianity.
I know he admitted to being a sexual addict before conversion, and now this. The scriptures speak of how we are to be careful of the "sin" that so easily "besets" us. So , he battles with sexual addiction. There are a lot of addictions that many Christians battle with, but I would not put him back into an authority position over a flock.
This is not being unforgiving, it is being responsable for the rest of the flock.I know that God is the God of 2nd chances, Im proof of that, but is He also the God of 3rd and 4th and 5th and ect... When would we say enough?
Juanita Bynum (im not her fan for sure) said something I will never forget. She said she needed to talk to this guy who worked at a night club. She did not go into the club but told someone going in to ask him to come to the door. She stood at the door and talked for a while then left.
The following Sunday as she got up to lead the worship which was what she did at her church, her pastor took her aside and asked her if she was at this nightclub. She said yes but told the pastor I did not go in the club. Someone had seen her there and told the pastor. The pastor made her sit down on the front row for 1 year and would not allow her up in front to lead until that year was over. She also had to attend every Sunday and Wed and not miss.
He told her to not let her good be evil spoken of. He told her that her actions were a reflection on him as the pastor and on the whole church body. People outside the church would talk about them. This is what he meant by let not your good be evil spoken of.
If we sin, we still reap what we sow. Not to say we cannot be forgiven, but we may still reap something from it that we do not like or want. King David is a good example of that.
Also Jimmy Swaggert is a good example. he got caught in sexual sin, he repented if i remember correctly on camera, tears and all. he continued to be the pastor and guess what. He did it again.
He still pastors, just not under the authority of the AOG. Did God forgive him? Im sure He did. Should he have stepped down? I think so.
Posts: 1238 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Aug 2004
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HisGrace
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Great site TG - I think this quote by Sandi Patty sums it all up very nicely.
"But equally overwhelming is the evidence that God is in the restoration business. The gospel is the astonishing record of the Lord’s effort to reclaim, to redeem, and to restore those who were originally his but who in time were lost."
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helpforhomeschoolers
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I agree with the three things; but I think that the church would have said much if they had asked him to stay under those terms.
What about this woman who would sue the church unless he resigned...What about her?
Is this the right way to handle this situation? We do not have all the facts, but I could understand her stating first to the pastor that she would make known to the elders the situation unless he did..fine. I would have expected of him a public confession and repentence and asking of forgiveness for his duplicity; I would have gone to the elders if he refused and to the congregation if they refused, but sue the church?????? What is the issue here? What was her motive here? She wanted his resignation or she would sue the church?????? SHAME on her!
As a godly woman, I would have wanted FOR him, freedom from his shame and bondage of his current struggle, I would have wanted GOD to forgive him and his congregation to rally around him and help him and I would not have written a letter, I would have gone personally first to him and then the elders if needed with my husband at my side. I would have prayed with him and prayed for him and cried with him and I and my husband would have stood with him before the whole congregation and beseeched them for forgive him. I would not have wanted his resignation or to have the power she excerted over this whole body with her threats.
Posts: 4684 | From: Southern Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: Jun 2002
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saintbygrace
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He shouldn't stay in as a Pastor, he needs a season of restoration in his relationship to God.
I would want 3 things before I would sit under his Pastorship.
1. Fruit in keeping with true repentance
2. Assurance that GOD is calling him to be one of His Pastors.
3. Godly men who will really hold him accountable.
#3 is one of the problems in churches today, the Pastor is put on a pedastal, and there is no one standing ALONGSIDE him to hold him accountable and in line with God's will and grace.
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John 18:38
Pilate *said to Him, "What is truth?"
Posts: 112 | From: ball of God-cursed dirt | Registered: Feb 2005
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helpforhomeschoolers
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Yahsway: I disagree that he may not be a church pastor again.
The scriptures say that a deacon or an elder must be blamless. I ask you who is blameless among us? ONLY those who have confessed their sin and repented and sought the grace and forgiveness of God through the blood of Jesus in faithful believing odedience.
If this man is born again, and has confessed his sin to God, he is forgiven by God! If he has asked this woman to forgive him and she has, then this man is blameless. Blessed is the man to whom God doth not impute sin!
NOT one is blameless apart from Christ!
Does GOd or does God not work ALL things for our Good and HIS glory in the lives of those who are called according to HIS puropose and walk after the spirit and not the flesh?
I personally think that our churches differ greatly from what the Apostolic Church was intended to be by God and there are a whole lot of issues on Pastors that occur because of this, but if this man has confessed his sin, humbled himself, and has a contrite spirit and a heart for God and is born again, then far be it for me to judge him unworthy to do the work of a pastor in a local congregation. Do we believe in forgiveness? Do we believe in the power of the blood? Do we believe in the sufficiency of Christ's sacrifice? Do we believe in the faithfulness of God to forgive our confessed sins? Then he is now blameless and how dare we say of him what God Almighty will not say of him.
I would much rather see a man who can admit his sin and ask forgiveness pastor a church than a man who holds himself above reproval of the congregation any day of the week.
Posts: 4684 | From: Southern Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: Jun 2002
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saintbygrace
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We need to pray for this man, that Godly men will come along side him and restore him.
THE ENEMY CAN'T KEEP HIM DOWN
We need to pray for his congragation that the enemy doesn't use this to divide them.
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John 18:38
Pilate *said to Him, "What is truth?"
Posts: 112 | From: ball of God-cursed dirt | Registered: Feb 2005
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Gramajo320
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Saintbygrace and Texas Grandma,
Amen to your postings and God bless you both!
In Christ's love,
Gramajo320
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saintbygrace
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I take no joy from this.
It saddens me that the enemy has silenced another voice for God.
I pray that by God's AWESOME grace he gets his witness back even stronger.
Many lost are taking GREAT joy in this, and I'm sure some will bring this up when someone tries to tell them about Jesus.
That's why it's SO important that we take diligence in maintaining our witness.
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John 18:38
Pilate *said to Him, "What is truth?"
Posts: 112 | From: ball of God-cursed dirt | Registered: Feb 2005
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TEXASGRANDMA
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I have to disagree with not Pastoring again. I think once the person receives counsling and is forgiven by God than they should be allowed to Pastor again. One of the Preachers I mentioned, I was in his Church before and after and believe me this person was 100 X a better Pastor after.
The Bible says that when God forgives us our sins he stops remembering our sins. If God does not hold our past against us, who are we to do so to another Brother?
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Luk 21:28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.
http://www.indieheaven.com/artists/mm (son-in-law)http://www.myspace.com/mireles
Posts: 4985 | From: Washington State | Registered: Jan 2003
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yahsway
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I too pray for this pastor and all involved. He seems to be a man of integrity to admitt his sin and resign. I too believe that he still can be used of God, but, according to the scriptures he should not pastor a flock anymore because he would have to be a pastor above reproach.
Not to say that we do not all at some time in our lives make mistakes and sin, but the line is drawn as far as scripture is concerned.
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TEXASGRANDMA
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I hope no one takes any joy from any of this. Preachers are people too. The fact that this man put his Church before his own needs by resigning, shows that he does have character, and we should pray for him and this lady. God can still use this man in the future. I know two preachers who had similar problems. Years later, God used both men in smaller Churches. Through Christian counseling both Pastors were able to stay married to their wives. Their marriage actually became a more loving and stronger marriage. NO, I am not suggesting adultery to produce a stronger marriage. But, with prayer and faith God can heal marriages. Both Pastors became more caring and more spiritual after the instance. There is nothing like falling on your face that makes you realize that even if you are the Pastor you need help from God.
All this aside I hope that us at this board will lift these people and their Churches up in prayer. God can take what the devil has soiled and bring healing to all concerened.
betty
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Luk 21:28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.
http://www.indieheaven.com/artists/mm (son-in-law)http://www.myspace.com/mireles
Posts: 4985 | From: Washington State | Registered: Jan 2003
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saintbygrace
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Pastor Resigns Amid Sexual Misconduct Complaint
LAST UPDATE: 4/5/2005 9:32:28 AM
NEW BRAUNFELS, Texas (AP) - A minister who wrote about how he overcame an addiction to prostitutes and pornography has resigned as senior pastor of a 4,000-member church after a woman accused him of sexual misconduct, church leaders said.
The resignation of Mike Fehlauer, senior pastor of The Tree of Life Fellowship, was announced to the congregation Sunday in an hourlong sermon delivered by Ted Haggard, president of the 30 million-member National Association of Evangelicals.
Haggard said a married woman wrote a letter about two weeks ago to the church board, detailing her allegations. Since there was only a lone accuser and no proof, the church board decided to dismiss the complaint and drop the investigation, he said.
However, the woman threatened to sue the church if Fehlauer did not resign, Haggard said.
"So that is when Mike confessed to misconduct and offered his resignation in exchange for the woman not pursuing legal action against the church," Haggard said. No lawsuit has been filed.
Haggard said "exhortations" by himself and Tree of Life Financial Administrator LeMoyne Davis led Fehlauer to resign after he admitted to sexual misconduct with the woman.
The woman, who asked not to be named, refused comment except to say that the church "as a whole, handled the situation with integrity, graciousness and did a wonderful job."
Fehlauer and his wife already have moved to Colorado, where they will seek secular employment, Haggard said. Attempts to reach him were unsuccessful.
"Mike is deeply distressed about himself," Haggard said. "I don't know if you've ever been deeply disgusted about yourself, but he is - justifiably so. But Bonnie did not ask for this, and neither did their two kids, and neither did Mike's parents."
In an undated article he wrote for On Target Ministries' Web site, Mike Fehlauer described his life 20 years ago in Florida, describing how he sat in his car in his church parking lot, holding a gun to his head, overcome with shame.
"The implosion caused by my reckless and sinful behavior had finally caused my life to collapse around me," he wrote. "I felt like I was suffocating alone and without hope."
According to the article, he put the gun down, went home and confessed to his wife, Bonnie. Through his faith, Fehlauer wrote, "God graciously helped us break the bondage of that addiction and begin a new life together."
Davis said church members were familiar with Fehlauer's struggles with sexual addiction. He detailed that time of his life in a book, "Finding Freedom from the Shame of the Past," which is sold in the church bookstore. But the news of his recent sexual misconduct still came as a shock.
"He's a very likable, people-oriented person," Davis said. "He is a very gifted man of God. He is able to present the word of God in a very practical manner. When you heard his sermon, you left church and you could go and apply it that day."
The church grew quickly under his leadership, going from Sunday attendance of about 850 to more than 2,000 in four years. He also founded and directed Foundation Ministries, for which he traveled extensively, presenting seminars on family life with his wife.
Haggard called on church members not to judge Fehlauer and to be sensitive to the woman who made the allegations.
"I forgive Mike Fehlauer," Haggard said, leading the congregation in prayer. "And I forgive this woman. I extend my love to both, and I pray that you heal them."
The Tree of Life Fellowship, on a 54-acre campus along Interstate 35, is the largest church in this Hill Country city about 30 miles north of San Antonio.
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John 18:38
Pilate *said to Him, "What is truth?"
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