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Author
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Topic: Sticky situation
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RisamyRisa
Advanced Member
Member # 1854
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posted
M last post was pure frustration and was not meant to fan the flame. I'm sorry that it obviously was offensive and I do appreciate the care and concern of others who take time time to post back to me. Again, I don't pretend to know all the answers. Pray for God to reach him. Pray for God to reach me if I'm making a mistake in His eyes. Those are the things I pray for. And I do accept that this might be a huge mistake on my part, and I do ask God to show me His will and His way.
I have one other friend who has been in a situation similar to this. Her boyfriend wasn't a believer... and for some reason she, like me, had this sense of "don't panic, it's going to be okay." They've been together two and a half years, he's renewed his relationship with God and accepted Christ, and they are going to be married this February. God is so powerful. Maybe I'm in one of those situations, maybe I'm not.
And my own parents were not members of the same faith and it ended in a painful divorce and my mom raising three teenagers on her own.
I have seen this situation from all sides and I don't want anyone to think that I don't understand what's going on around me. But please keep praying for me!
And keep praying for my friendship that seems to be deteriorating. Everyone involved has said hurtful things and so far I'm the only one to say "I said something stupid there, and I'm sorry it hurt you."
Again, thank you for your prayers and I'm sorry for my well-intended but rather childish outburst
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Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin.. God picks you from the patch and washes the dirt off. He cuts out the top and removes the yucky stuff, and then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light in you to shine for all the world to see!
Posts: 108 | Registered: Jul 2003
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Christ for the children
Advanced Member
Member # 159
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posted
My prayers are for you and those involved in this situation. I'm praying that everyone involved would listen to what God is saying, and respond to Him in a positive manner. "Father, we love you. We thank you for loving us. We can never hope to repay you for what You have done. We ask that you be with our sister, use her in a mighty way. We ask that you perform a miracle in this situation. Be with everyone involved, let them know that You are working. We ask that Your will be done, and that you would grant to us the wisdom and grace to accept Your answer. Strengthen those who need strength, help those who need help, and show Your mercy to those who need Your mercy. We thank You in advance for the miracle You are about ready to perform. We ask and pray this in the blessed name of Jesus. Amen." God be with you sister, may He guide you always.
Posts: 120 | From: Florida | Registered: Jul 2002
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helpforhomeschoolers
Advanced Member
Member # 15
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posted
quote:
Why did I go to bed crying and praying every night that I wouldn't fall in love with this person, and yet I literally felt God pushing me to him, as if He had a purpose for this?
God does not lead us to something that is contrary to his word. Perhaps God is leading you to witness to this young man, but not to an intimate relationship with him.
Posts: 4684 | From: Southern Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: Jun 2002
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helpforhomeschoolers
Advanced Member
Member # 15
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posted
I do not judge you. And I will certainly keep you and your situation in prayer; but I would be amiss if I did not say that the Bible teaches we should not be unequally yoked.
I have a daughter that is now divorced and raising my grandson alone who I wish someone had said "dont be unequally yoked" to her when I did not have the Biblical knowledge to teach her so.
You cannot imagine the problems that stem from this situation and from the beginning.
Think even about the marriage covenant. How does one join in a marriage covenant with God and spouse and consumate that covenant with blood when one of the parties is not a believer?
Then come children; and even more serious issues.
God's will is for your future mate to be the spiritual head of your home, and if that mate is an nonbeliever that is not possible.
God's way is not our way; but his way is perfect. Often our flesh doesnt want to hear that and I completely understand that you dont want to be told that you should not be yoked with your boyfriend in a unequal bond, but it is what the Bible says. That is not judgement. I dont judge you or think any less of you, but I do have concern for you and I felt obligated to share that concern.
Posts: 4684 | From: Southern Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: Jun 2002
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RisamyRisa
Advanced Member
Member # 1854
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posted
*sigh* Christians are supposed to be non-judgemental and supportive. What I don't understand is why is it that everyone reads that verse in 2 Corinthians doesn't read the REST of the bible where it tells us not to judge, tells wives not to worry about what their husbands believe but to simply walk in their own faith, that their husbands might see their example. Whatever happened to all of those parts? I just finished a Disciple I class over the bible (for those of you who might not know, this is an 8 month study, covering almost a whole book a week). Unconditional love, faith, witholding judgement, all of these things speak much louder to me.
Why is it that my non-believing boyfriend is more willing to accept my faith and is more willing to attend to church with me than any Christian I've ever dated? Why did I go to bed crying and praying every night that I wouldn't fall in love with this person, and yet I literally felt God pushing me to him, as if He had a purpose for this? And why is it that every time I get scared that I can't handle it, God always presents something to me that eases my mind? I'm just as Christian as any of you are, I keep ALL of my decisions founded in prayer, and this is where I've felt led. I understand that not everyone agrees with me, but my desire in my post was to get suggestions for how to help my relationship with my friend, who thinks and acts in the way the last person who posted does. Since when has prayer not been enough? Why does my request for prayer only lead to people urging me to leave my boyfriend, instead of praying for the fact that I'm losing a friend over what should be my choice.
My boyfriend and I both agree that if God doesn't want us in this relationship, He will most definately break it apart, and we'll have no doubt when and if that time comes. But for all anyone, including us, knows, I could be in his life for this very purpose. His presence in my life has certainly tested my convictions about my faith, and not because he is questioning it, but because other Christians are.
I know I sound like a misled child and if that's what you think then please pray for me, because I do continue to ask God if that is the case. And I'm truly sorry if coming off as strong as I have has offended anyone.
An after thought: Recently a man informed be that because I won't date men my father's age, I cannot call myself a Christian, because Mary married Joseph and Mary was 15 and Joseph was 40. In those times, women were property and it made sense that teenagers were married to older men, older men could afford to buy these young women from their fathers, basically. Society has evolved since then. The bible is the guidebook, not a hammer. The bible also says that you will be condemned by others for your faith, and that you may have to leave everyone you love to follow Jesus. I may not have every line of the bible memorized, but I do understand what it is all about, and I am not ignorant to the problems I might bring upon myself with this relationship; I'm just confident that God knows me better than I know myself and that He is in control.
-Unwilling to change my faith, but willing to accept prayers for me to change if that's what you feel in your heart that I need.
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Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin.. God picks you from the patch and washes the dirt off. He cuts out the top and removes the yucky stuff, and then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light in you to shine for all the world to see!
Posts: 108 | Registered: Jul 2003
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helpforhomeschoolers
Advanced Member
Member # 15
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posted
As a young Christian woman, your first pre-requisit for a boyfriend should be that he is a Christian.
2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
Yes, people do get themselves into situations where they are unequally yoked with a nonbeliever and in this situation the believer can help to lead the non believer to Christ; but, this is not God's will that you form intimate relationships with non believer's in the first place.
Our fellowship is to be with believers; our mission is with the lost. A boyfirend is an intimate relationship that should lead to marriage in which case you would be under the headship of a person who is not equiped to be the spiritual leader in your home. This is a receipe for disaster.
God doesnt say Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers:unless you really like him and you think he might come to Christ!
GOD SAYS...Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
You can friendly with him; you can witness to him; but you as a Christian woman should have absolutely no interest in dating a non believer.
Posts: 4684 | From: Southern Black Hills of South Dakota | Registered: Jun 2002
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RisamyRisa
Advanced Member
Member # 1854
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posted
Just an update (thanks, Pastor Dave, for your response!).
The afore mentioned friend and I are still not on good terms. Thought I've tried, and I'm sure she has made an honest attempt (by her own definition), it's not going well at all.
My boyfriend is actually trying to work out a schedule where he can start going to church with me. He works 8-5,7 days a week, so it's tough, but we're trying. Most of the time he acts like he really wants to get into it and try it out, but he still gets defensive if someone suggests that he should change his beliefs. Any form of pressure is going to push him away, so I am continuing to do the best I can at answering any questions he has and just staying calm and letting God work. Lately I've been discouraged, but God always finds a way to let me know He can handle it. Today it came in the form of touching base with an old friend. In high school she was an atheist, and one strongly opposed to Christianity. Well today I found her website and there's a prayer posted on it. My anti-Christian friend is now a member of a Catholic church! I was shocked but delighted. If God can touch her, He can touch anyone!
Thank you for your continued prayers!
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Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin.. God picks you from the patch and washes the dirt off. He cuts out the top and removes the yucky stuff, and then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light in you to shine for all the world to see!
Posts: 108 | Registered: Jul 2003
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Pastor Dave
Advanced Member
Member # 965
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posted
Regarding your girl friend, it is only natural for any Christian to want to see others come to Christ. She also needs to know that the great commission does not include a direction for her to personally save other people. She should go back and study effective evangelism before attempting to lead others to Christ. You see, Jesus is the Saviour and people are convicted by the Holy Spirit to believe and accept Him as their personal Saviour. Our job as Christian Evangelists is: Number one to live a life that exhibits the Fruit of the Spirit in all we do and all that we proclaim. And number two is telling as many as possible about the Gospel of Jesus.
Matthew 28:18-20
"And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen."
There is much to study here but the main point under discussion is how persistent should we be and how should we present the Gospel. Jesus said first that all power is given to Him and then commands us to preach the Gospel. The power to save is Jesus and we are to tell others about Him. After we tell them then we have completed our job and the rest is up to God. How would they hear if a preacher did not tell them? The answer is they would not hear. So preach it and then let Jesus and the Holy Ghost do their job and stand back and watch the salvation of the Lord. There is no stronger witness than a believing evangelist preaching the word. Every Christian is commanded by the Lord to fulfill the great commission even if they have not been called to the office of Evangelist. However, we must know our job and it is to preach the Gospel not to argue with people about what Jesus has told us to tell them. Arguing (convicting) is the Holy Spirit’s job not our job. Aren’t you glad that Jesus did not ask us to do more than we could bear, praise His Name.
Mark 16:15-18
"And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature. He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned. And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover."
I am not trying to teach a complete course on evangelism here in the prayer forum so please understand that there is much to learn from these commandments that Jesus directed to His disciples and all other Christians other than what I am teaching here today. My objective is that you will be guided to know how to pray for and witness to your girl friend. Here in the Gospel of St. Mark Jesus tells us again to preach the Gospel to everyone we can reach even to all the world. Then He explains that them that believe and are baptized shall be saved and the ones that do not believe shall be damned. The point is very clear, we are to preach and it is up to them that hear to make a choice to listen to the Holy Spirit and believe or not to listen and therefore remain lost. Many Christians misunderstand this principal and actually turn people away from Christ when they have intended to lead them to Christ. This is the very reason we should study to be approved. Resolute as we are to get the Word out and see people come to Christ the Spirit and the Word must agree otherwise it is a private interpretation and therefore not from God.
It is always a very tough situation when two people have a relationship that is leading to possible marriage and they are not both Christians. You mentioned you have different religious views but you did not tell exactly what they are. Does your boyfriend deny the existence of God or has he been converted to follow a religion instead of following Christ? It is, of course, urgent that he accepts Christ as Lord and Saviour because we never know how long it will be before God calls us home. We are not guaranteed even one more breath. There is no Salvation except through Christ.
Dear Christian, please don’t make the mistake of entering into a lifetime relationship with an unbeliever. No matter how much you are in love you are headed for a life of disappointment and difficult times if you become one flesh with an unbeliever. You only have one life and every minute is precious. That said it sounds like you are doing a good job of guiding you boyfriend to Christ. Remember it is up to him to make the choice and before you reach the point of no return to I beg you make it clear to him that you will not live your life with a partner that is not a true believer.
![[Prayer]](graemlins/prayer.gif)
Father, help these two Christian sisters to resolve there problems and restore their relationship as Christian friends. Let the Word be preached and rightly divided. Father, help this Christian saint to follow you’re leading in her walk through this life and may her boyfriend be convicted and accept Christ as his Saviour. We praise You and lift up your Name Lord, in Jesus Name we pray. Amen.
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Your servant in Jesus our Christ, Pastor Dave
John 3:3
"Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
Posts: 273 | From: Niles, Michigan | Registered: Jan 2003
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RisamyRisa
Advanced Member
Member # 1854
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posted
Hello everyone,
I have an odd debacle going on and I'm so frustrated. I am 21 years old and dating a really wonderful guy, who is 22 years old. I am a Christian, he is not. While he was raised as a Christian, he turned away from it when he was in high school. Before we started dating I made where I stood clear, as did he. However, because of my faith, he sees it as VERY important that he attend church with me, not just for my benefit, but in the hopes that maybe being there with me will re-open his heart. His last girlfriend and her parents condemned him for not being a Christian and she finally told him she was leaving and wasn't coming back until he was converted. I believe this is completely wrong, and am thrilled that he didn't completely turn away from the possibilities of the Christian faith after what they did. I'm happy to have him interested and more than willing to assist him and answer his questions.
The friend that introduced us believes the same as his last girlfriend and her parents. She will not leave him alone about his faith or lack of faith. Everytime she talks to him she throws bible verses at him and argues with him and makes him upset. I prefer a "gentle leading" as I heard the pastor at my church put it - a sharing and showing of my own faith in hopes that it will make him wonder about me and want to know more. And from what I see that is working, but every time our friend starts after him he gets so angry and resentful. When he or I ask her to stop preaching at him, she accuses us of not allowing her to be who she is. She continually attacks him for his religious views and she continually does things like telling me I'm compromising my own faith by being with him.
For a three month relationship, we are very serious. He understands my goals and the way I want my children raised in the church and he agrees with me and is willing to be open and pray that God will work on him. In his situation all we CAN do is pray. But I feel like my friend is saying that I'm not a good enough Christian to show him the way. This situation has come to a head and has caused arguments, between me and her and between them, though he and I have kept it in perspective.
Please pray for my situation. If anyone has advice on how to save the friendship and do the right thing, let me know. This relationship is built on mutual trust and faith in each other, as well as faith in God - though our faiths are slightly different. I prayed for weeks about getting involved with this guy and told God over and over that I couldn't do it, because of the differences in our religions, and yet I felt God pushing me, for the first time. And my boyfriend admits I've opened new doors for him, so I really feel that this is where God wants me at the moment and that there can be change. Thanks for your prayers and sorry about the forever-and-a-day wording!
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Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin.. God picks you from the patch and washes the dirt off. He cuts out the top and removes the yucky stuff, and then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light in you to shine for all the world to see!
Posts: 108 | Registered: Jul 2003
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