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Author Topic: Lost but now found...
tonyb
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Member # 1496

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No, I'm sorry you misunderstood the last post. I sated that her "listening ear" is married and my girlfriend is talking. His wife is also a member of the church. Maybe I'm making more of what it really is.
Posts: 6 | From: Philadelphia | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Miguel
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Member # 47

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Tonyb you said that you are blessed with a beautiful girlfriend and three children.

Let me asked you she was married, right! Are the children of the same father in my observation in reading your post this is a RED FLAG. Plus you have not given enough time to read and be with the word of Lord, you should step back for a season and look at the matter from far of.

Am I close to what I read or am I wrong?

--------------------
Romans 9:11-24

Our Eschatology may vary even our Ecclesiology may be disputed among us but our Soteriology most assume a singularity and exclusivity which in biblical term is known as Quote; "The Narrow Way" and Quote!

Posts: 2792 | From: Stockton,Ca | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
tonyb
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Hello all, I'm back. I went to the counseling with our pastor last night. Everything went well we are getting married sooner than I think. That was the good news. I've come to learn that the "listening ear" is a member of our church whom I've seen only a couple of times since I joined Sunday. I have a couple of questions for you good people out there. First let me tell you that my heart feels great but my gut tells me different. I still hold alot of jelousy towards their so-called friendship. I was told by one of my prayer partners that no man is supposed to counsel any woman of the ministry other than his wife unless it is the pastor or assistant pastor. Yes, he's married and I believe that she is also a member of the church. Is this true that she should have seeked counsel with a female partner? Also, are these feelings that I have just natural male instinct or do you think it is another attack of evil on me? I have been praying for peace but I have yet to exerience it and let it go. I have forgiven her for this but the deceitful manner in which is was presented has me thinking alot. I have yet to sit down with this man but I will sooner than later. Any words of wisdom?
Posts: 6 | From: Philadelphia | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gary
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Tonyb,

That is great news!

God is SOOOOO GOOD!

I will keep praying for you.

Gary

--------------------
"For the wages of sin is death,
but the free gift of God is eternal life
in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 6:23 NASB

Posts: 436 | From: Mankato, Minnesota | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
tonyb
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Hello all. Great news. She just called and we are speaking to our pastor tonight at 6:00pm. Thank you all for your support and prayers.

"Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth."

"Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always her love."

Excerpts from Proverbs

God bless you all and I will support her everyday and communicate as best I can.

Posts: 6 | From: Philadelphia | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
tonyb
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Me again. I prayed last night for Jesus to give me the strength to deal with this issue and show me something. I asked for truth and I got truth. I found out last night that the bad seeds I've sewn have definitely taken root. There is another man that has her attention now but she makes me feel very confident that she is still in love with me so there seems to be hope. She says he's just someone that listens and she just met him and above all they are not intimate. Does anyone think that those seeds can be removed in time and does God have a plan for us or them? Do I pursue or do I lay dormant on that issue and let God handle that? Like I said before I was not ready because I ignored all the warning signs. My eyes are seeing clearer, my ears are listening, and my heart is receptive but is it too late? The hurt has been healed through prayer because I suspected this was going on but I didn't want to assume anything. I asked for the truth and I recieved the truth. Thanks to all who replied and prayed for me.
Posts: 6 | From: Philadelphia | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Herschel
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Tonyb, do you have a job, do you work, do you have an income? Are you able to support a wife and family Spiritually, financially, physically and morally? Are you willing to do the things necessary to give a woman the security she desires and needs? Are you willing to make her #1 in your life, and I mean before yourself? Love is not a funny feeling, it isn't lust, it isn't goose bumps when you see her. Love is doing what is best for someone, no matter how bad you DON'T want to do it. The Word says in Ephesians, Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it. Well, Christ died for the Church. This is what you must do for a wife. Die to yourself and live for her. You must give yourself as a sacrifice for her spiritual, physical, mental and moral well being. If you are willing to do these things for her, you won't have any trouble winning her.

God bless you in your efforts.
PS You have to communicate with her.

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Opportunity is the doorway to success. Action (work)is the key that unlocks the door.

Posts: 16 | From: Monterey, LA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gary
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Tonyb,

First of all, welcome to the board.

That being said, I think the first thing you need to do is get in contact with your bride-to-be and tell her you have come to faith in Christ. If that was what you were lacking, then it should make all the difference in the world. Tell her you love her, and you want to make a new start. What I'm saying is right now you need to be communicating with her, not us.

When you have won her back, come back and tell us about it, and we can rejoice with you.

In Christ,
Gary

--------------------
"For the wages of sin is death,
but the free gift of God is eternal life
in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 6:23 NASB

Posts: 436 | From: Mankato, Minnesota | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
tonyb
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Member # 1496

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Hello all I would like to introduce myself. My name is tonyb and I gave myself to the Lord this past Sunday. I've done it before but it wasn't the right time I guess because I fell. I had support but the support wasn't strong enough. At the Church I attend now the support is overwhelming. Now on to my issue and hopefully one or more of you good people can help me gain some understanding. First I want to say that I'm blessed with a beautiful girlfriend and three children. We were recently planning marriage and set a date for November. I wasn't as interested as she was in the planning and such and I stuck to listening to friends and family saying "the man doesn't really get invloved as much as the woman in those things, after all it's her day." Me being of a weak mind and heart went along with it and literally watched my relationship starting to sour but did nothing. She is wonderful, she fears the Lord and she does everything she can to volunteer at the Church. I was a home body and barely went to Church with her espcially when she dances, she's in the dance ministry as well. Lately money hasn't been the most abundant thing in my life but we made due. Like that's an excuse. I was alseep for so long I didn't realize that I was neglecting my girlfriend's emotional and spiritual side. Flowers, cards, and gifts were far and in between. Recently we had a discussion and she stated that she was leaving for good because she had enough. She didn't say it but I think that she didn't see me as her man of God. Let me tell you, I was hurting bad. Did I really listen when she cried out for me, no. These were the seeds that I have sewn. I do have some great qualities but there was something I lacked, a relationship with Jesus. I am a great father, I cook when she is coming in late, I keep my children at least 4 days out of the week so she may go to services or volunteer work at the Church. I kept the house clean at all times, and made sure the children had clean clothes and nightly baths. These things didn't outwheigh the fact that she needed me to spend time with her and participate with her activities. I would totally disregard the messages she was sending but didn't know they were messages until it was too late. I will not sit here and tell you good people that I joined Church soley for me, that would be untrue. I joined first because I needed change and structure in my life and second, because I do not want to lose my family because I didn't listen to this last cry for help. I love my family dearly and the last thing I want to happen is my children grow up in a broken home like I did. I am trying to break the single parent home cycle that runs in my family and hers. I truly believe that in time things will be fine but I really need soemone elses opinion on this one because November is around the corner. I took the step to change myself and I am forever devoted to Christ and my family. I will never neglect her again.
Posts: 6 | From: Philadelphia | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator


 
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