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Author
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Topic: Mentoring and accountability
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wparr
Advanced Member
Member # 891
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posted
The Bible compares the Church (believers) to a physical human body. We are "the body of Christ"
Rom 12:4 Our bodies have many parts, but these parts don't all do the same thing.
Rom 12:5 In the same way, even though we are many individuals, Christ makes us one body and individuals who are connected to each other.
1Co 6:15 Don't you realize that your bodies are parts of Christ's body?
1Co 12:12 For example, the body is one unit and yet has many parts. As all the parts form one body, so it is with Christ.
1Co 12:13 By one Spirit we were all baptized into one body. Whether we are Jewish or Greek, slave or free, God gave all of us one Spirit to drink.
1Co 12:14 As you know, the human body is not made up of only one part, but of many parts.
They way I see it in order for the body to grow it has to be healthy. A healthy body grows better than a sick body. If we believers focus on making the church healthy in Christ, that God will make it grow. A healthy church will attract more sick people (non-believers), we make them healthy, and more will come.
Posts: 1203 | From: Eagle Nest, NM | Registered: Jan 2003
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living4him
Advanced Member
Member # 1187
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posted
I was going to suggest the same. Attend the meetings and make it an issue.
I have been soooooo blessed by my home church. We are so involved with each other. We have stuff for everyone and lots of us are involved with different things. It really is truly a family.
We have this group called C.R.E.W and the women get together to go on spiritual retreats or just get together and watch movies. There are also Grace Circles for the older ladies and groups like this for men and kids of all ages.
Good luck to you and may God bless your church and help it grow. ![[Cross]](graemlins/cross.gif)
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God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth should change,
though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea;
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble with its tumult.
Posts: 29 | From: CA | Registered: Mar 2003
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SamanthaDanielsMom
New Member
Member # 1197
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posted
Thank njclary. You gave me some things to pray and think about. My husband and I had a long talk last night. We're going to talk to our Pastor and his wife and see what we can do to help. I guess I do sometimes think they should be doing it all. And they might not feel comfortable asking others to set these things up. I don't know. But we are going to talk to them and see what we can do to get things going. They both work full-time jobs and would probably appreciate the help. I always worry about hurting others feelings and coming across the wrong way. I don't want them to feel that we don't think they're doing a wonderful job. We just want to help. So we'll just be open and honest and pray about it. Thanks!
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~Lynn~
Wife to Dan
Mommy to Samantha and Daniel
Posts: 5 | From: Sunny Florida | Registered: Mar 2003
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njclary
unregistered
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posted
You bring up a very good question. Who is in charge?
As these meetings were set up, who set them up?
Is it expected that the pastors wife be the one in charge?
You might try this; when the next meeting is set up, hold a business meeting to select 'coordinators' peoplen who will take charge and perpetuate the program. to many times it is left up to the pastor and his wife to do all the organizing and the carrying out of programs, when the congregation should be doing it.
How about you? can you be the coordinator?
God Bless
Joel
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SamanthaDanielsMom
New Member
Member # 1197
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posted
How do you get your Church to do these things? I love my Pastor and his wife dearly. But this Church does not seem to offer much for people. They have problems getting things organized and going. For example, women's meetings. It was decided last summer that the women would meet once a month for fellowship. We met last summer. It was wonderful meeting and the preacher's wife had a wonderful message about marriage. We were to continue the next month. Nothing happened. Finally in December I asked her when we were going to have another one. We had one in February. I'm still waiting for the next one.
I don't want to upset them or step on any toes. But we're constantly praying that our Church grows. I feel that we need to offer more for people. THere's no men's meeting. There's no Youth Group. Other than SUnday morning and evening services and Wednesday night services, we don't do anything. We get together every couple of months on a Saturday to give the Church a good cleaing. But that's it.
I grew up in Church and it seemed like a second home to me. It seems we were there a lot more than I'm at Church now. And we always seemed to move from one project to the next.
I guess my concern is how to approach this. I really want to see our Church grow. A lot of ideas are brought up but nothing is ever followed through. THings seem to be put off until the last minute. The kids in our Church put on a play for Christmas. It was such a last minute thing. I know our Church is really small now, but I don't think that should matter when it comes to what we offer.
But they are working on membership. We have a big project coming up where all members are working on bringing at least one person with them on a set date. And we now have our Sunday School classes going and have a class for every age. So we are slowly getting started. But how can I bring up that we really need to get other things going and stick with it? I don't mind helping in any way possible.
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~Lynn~
Wife to Dan
Mommy to Samantha and Daniel
Posts: 5 | From: Sunny Florida | Registered: Mar 2003
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1
Advanced Member
Member # 901
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posted
Hi Texas,
That seems like a really good point.
I visit one church two counties up the line that has a large squad of greeters starting at the parking spaces. By the time I get inside I've run a guantlet of handshaking greeters, and try to get out a side door instead of running the guantlet at the end of services? They are waiting there too. And you know what they do teach the word of thebible and they keep growing and growing. Have even started sister congregations- In the same town!
I don't think I have ever heard of a church that opens yet another church within the same community outreach before.
After having read this thread I'm going to have to find out whether they follow through with some kind of individual mentoring or whether there is just a herding that occurs. Be nice to know how the growth of individuals compares to the growth of the congregation size.
neighbor
Posts: 42 | Registered: Jan 2003
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TEXASGRANDMA
Advanced Member
Member # 847
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posted
Sometimes it is not the Church's fault. Unfortunatlly,there are some people who think if they show up for one service they are doing God a favor. The pastor tries to get families to come to Sunday School, Sunday Night, and Wednesday Night but they claim to be to busy. Also, some people come in the door a second before service and are gone a second after closing prayer. It is hard for Church people and pastors to reach out to these people.
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Luk 21:28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.
http://www.indieheaven.com/artists/mm (son-in-law)http://www.myspace.com/mireles
Posts: 4985 | From: Washington State | Registered: Jan 2003
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1
Advanced Member
Member # 901
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posted
"the worlds oldest hangglider and the oldest woman to drive a real racing car at a major race track."
Wow, how impressive! I used to go watch the hanggliders lift off the cliff over Cabrillo Beach, always wanted to go myself, but when I mentioned it spouse freaked, and boss threaten to fire me if I took it up.Then there was the money issue, it was a little over my head budget wise in those days. So I spent a lot of lunch breaks watching the ever so gentle lifting into the sky circling as a seagull down to the beach below. Then came the chore. Folding up gear and trudging back up the cliffs. I won't be terribly sinful over it, but I envy your mom's agility.
You're approaching seniorism, eh? Let me know when you bump into it as, Lord willing, I'm a step and a half behind you and don't care to bump my head.
Perhaps, just perhaps, it is difficult for a congregation to be inclusive to all age ranges becaue of the membrs themselves, more than the pastorate.
My early experience, was at a large church, one that started Super Sixties, a group of near 2000 seniors that met on Fridays for lunch, social contact, and entertainment, along with a short sermonette, some prayer, and invitation to become attendees of church . It was very successful in bringing seniors to the Lord and to church. -But, on the downside the seniors just could not bring themselves to meld with the youth programs at church. There was always conflict.
Finally the church at large decided to put up an entire seperate matching facility for the youth groups. And so eventually there were matching buildings operating side by side, Kids and young families pretty much were in one building and the seniors ruled the roost at the other.
The church had a pretty large "Church bus ministry" That picked up near 350 kids using a fleet of school busses each Sunday morning. It just sort of bypassed the adult(s) of those kids, mostly single moms or couples that used the ministry as a baby sitter. At any rate there never was a large contingent of intact families with kids there. Though the staff worked so very hard trying to reach people and to get the seniors to work with the younger folks. Just wouldn't happen, the seniors wanted their own "space"
With 55 and up ism being a real part of community housing, whether condos, apartments, or gated neighborhoods of homes, is it any wonder that old people get categorized, and someone, even a pastor would fall into a trap of thinking that a grayhead is one of those old people that prefer seperation from the young?
Also the large hole in the population - the missing father, must make it hard to get mentoring going and have it be sustainable. As you state the so called famiies are in survival mode.
Still, telling someone that they should be retired is a pretty cold shot. Perhaps one that could be challenged for the pastors benefit, as I doubt that he meant to be so crude- or at least I hope so. That he has bought into the idea of age seperatism might indicate that he is following the community rather than shepherding it, and he may not even be aware that it has happened to him.
well this morning I'm going to have to look and see how mentoring is oris not a part of my own congregation. I'm pretty sure that it is, but maybe I am lost in my own little space too. We do mentor a group of retarded adults, helping to make them a functioning part of our brethren. That is a most enriching experience that I would not have had any contact with except for the desire of this congregation to include these adults that are living throughout the communty- include them in the congregation.
neighbor
Posts: 42 | Registered: Jan 2003
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njclary
unregistered
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posted
Mentoring Churches are the result of not only preaching the Gospel but living the Gospel.
I have been in many Churches in my 61+ years and I have found only a handful who are practicing mentoring Churches. It's not a new concept, but in this day in age when careers and families do take precedence the human condition is in survival mode. look out for no-1 I invest in me and my family.
The other problem is our seniors. and as I get closer to this age group I become more acutely aware of the attitude of not having enough time for the elderly, they seem to get in the way. They are no longer important. Sad is'nt it?
I just brought my mother here from where she lived in a far away state. as I have noted on this board before she is a very active 87 [soon to be 88] . the worlds oldest hangglider and the oldest woman to drive a real racing car at a major race track. She is a fine painter, and her career was on the pipe organ. She wants to stay active so I introduced her to a local Church that has a new very large Pipe organ and she is going at it during the week. BUT this Christmas was the FIRST time in 70 years she has not had to prepare for a Christmas program. [little hole there][little emptyness] she mentioned it to the pastor of this Church [who is not easy to get to know anyway] and his response was well you should be retired anyway. How cold and unfeeling.
This is the attitude I see today. and it premeates Churches everywhere.
God Bless
Joel
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1
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Member # 901
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posted
Oh, okay that's a helpful list of examples.
I'm surprised that you have noted churches are not already doing that. I have only been associated with 4 churches in my lifetime, one very small, a couple of quite large, and to round things out one medium. Kinda like sizing congregations as though they were pizza's eh?
If I understand what you are suggesting, each of those churches did have formal mentoring and some informally structured groups as well. One church had special services when a family had a new birth. In that service those that attended were expected to adopt the whole family for support and mentoring they were to dedicate themselves to that goal. Of course there the women carried the majority of the load, but men did a pretty good job on occasion.
So most churches or at least many are difficient in that area? I'll have to pay a little closer attention. Thanks for bringing it up.
neighbor
Posts: 42 | Registered: Jan 2003
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njclary
unregistered
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posted
Mentoring; to teach, guide, and lead the older to the younger.
I have a wonderful friend who at one time worked for me, as a front desk person, but his calling and degree was in Church pastoring. I encouraged him to get back to his calling and he WAS called to a Church in another state, which was near where he grew up. He was a young man of some physical disabilities, of which he never allowed to interfere with what he tried to do.
He took up the mantle in this small country Church, and would send me a 1 page monthly newsletter, from the Church. I noted to myself that there was very little youth activity, and most of the newsletter was about the older folks, and their infirmities. My friend was growing discouraged.
After a few months I had to make a long trip which would take me through this town, so I paid a surprise visit. He showed me through the picturesque town [and it was a beautiful town] and through the 150 year old church building. He lamented the lack of progress, and how they seemed to not want to grow and how unsympathetic they were toward the youth. I therefore gave him a pep talk about developing a mentoring program. to which his mother who was with him asked me if I could preach this message to his congregation.
I arranged to speak the following week after completing my journey, and upon my return, did so. My talk was for the older parishoners. I noted that there was 1 teenager among 85 people and 3 children under 12. How was a church to survive? I told the older folks to go after the youth, show them what their Faith was about, show them what their hope was about, show them that they mattered. and at the same time LISTEN to the youth, hear their complaints, hear their triumphs, hear their questions, hear their music. I told the one youth to LISTEN to the older, hear their stories, hear their complaints, hear their triumphs.
COMMUNICATION; in mentoring there is communication, speaking and listening. The older women teach the younger the arts of the home, the arts of parenting, the arts of fellowship. The older men teach the younger of responsibility, of work, of play, of family.
The haves teach the have-nots how to increase their earning, giving, accepting.
Too many Churches and society in general do not have the patience, inclination, will or compassion to deal with others who have needs young needy, etc. But if you are a Church and have not love or any of the other Spiritual Gifts, you have a building to meet in but no purpose for which to meet.
In many Churches there are a large group of senior citizens with nothing to do. PUT THEM TO WORK> Give them a reason to be there! They have SO MUCH wisdom, that comes from years, to impart. USE IT!
This is the idea of mentoring!
to finish up, within 6 months the monthly newsletter began to grow to 2 pages then 4 pages until it was about 10 pages and activities abounded.
Sad to say; his infirmities caught up with him and he lost his eyesight and almost died. there was a tremendous health struggle for a while. His denomination 'decided to retire him on disability' and replaced him with another. ---the Church is now back where it started . too bad and he really became bitter that his ministry is over at this point. he is only about 38 years old.
But we will see what the future holds.
God Bless
Joel
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Squidward
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Member # 774
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posted
In my church there's an attitude that what you do is no other person's business, that it's between you and the Lord. I believe this to a certain extent, but having someone to be accountable to is a big incentive for acting the way you should.
Posts: 5 | From: South Carolina | Registered: Dec 2002
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njclary
unregistered
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posted
Sad to say; that in todays Church, time and attitude have destroyed, any thought of mentoring. " I just don't have time anymore" is the creed. and " Let the other person be the mentor". All of the basic functions of the Church are left to a precious few, who shoulder the burden. In many Churches there are those who insist on being the " be-all, do-all" and in general stop any new ideas from taking hold.
Now, I said this is a -general attitude, but not in all Churches. How is your Church? Does it have a mentoring program?? If not why don't you start one. Or have you run into the same resistance?
God Bless
Joel
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wparr
Advanced Member
Member # 891
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posted
Why is it so few churches today are actively mentoring people to help them grow in Christ? The more mature Believers should be taking newer babes in Christ into a mentoring relationship to help and encourage their growth. Also so few churches have their members in accountability relatioships. If more churches would do this the body of Christ would grow stronger and larger and reach out to the lost and hurting better. ![[help]](graemlins/1zhelp.gif)
Posts: 1203 | From: Eagle Nest, NM | Registered: Jan 2003
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