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Author
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Topic: My story
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thefixer
Advanced Member
Member # 8837
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posted
Sorry about that oneinchrist, typo. The date was December 18th 2001. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. Your Brother in Christ, LeRoy.
Posts: 71 | From: Yuma, Arizona | Registered: Aug 2011
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oneinchrist
Advanced Member
Member # 6532
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posted
Hi Leroy,
Thank you for sharing your testimony.
You said:
Then Tuesday, December 18th, 2011 arrived. I had been living along a wash on the outskirts of Las Vegas END
How long ago was this? We havent gotten to December 2011 yet.......lol. I think that you were so exited to share your testimony that you accidently put this year(2011) down.
Your testimony is quite an inspiration.
I think that your passion for the Lord reflects how He had touched your life in a time when you were desperately searching for a reason to live.
I sense, based on the way that you express your love towards Jesus, that you plan to be in for the long haul now(no turning back). Praise God!
With love in Jesus, Daniel
Posts: 1389 | From: Wind Lake, WI | Registered: May 2007
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thefixer
Advanced Member
Member # 8837
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posted
This is my testimony about the Lord in my life.
I was raised by an abusive father (his name was Raymond) and no mother, my father got custody after a divorce. My father did hire a nice Catholic woman to take care of us and, even though she refused to admit it, she was by all rights our mother figure.
I ran away from home around 12 times, the first time I was 10. After years of suffering physical abuse from my father, at 15 I finally succeeded in remaining free of him. I wandered the west, always searching for something that I didn't know I was even looking for.
I had been introduced to the Catholic faith at an early age but never found comfort in it. When I was 17 my oldest brother introduced me to what were then called Jesus Freaks and I said the sinner's prayer, but my heart wasn't ready and I went about my own way.
When I was 22 or so I met Belinda. We meshed and stayed together for 3 1/2 years. I talked to her often about my childhood and my wish that my father had been kinder. After a while we began talking about having a child and 3 years into our relationship she delivered my son. during her pregnancy she would firmly declare that she would deliver a boy and we agreed to name him Raymond, after my father. My heart was set on the desire reshape my father into my image of him in this new being. God saw better. He took him home after 2 months and 20 days. This single event started my slide into the dark.
My heart was crushed and the only one I could blame and lash out at was God. My hatered towards God, Jesus and Christianity grew worse every day. I, eventually, would threaten, with physical harm, anyone who would even bring up God or Jesus. I lost any ability to care about anything including myself. I wanted to die but could accomplish suicide. I would walk into traffic with no thought of safety inwardly wishing that someone would end it for me. I was threatened with a gun by an angry aquantence and I took hold of the barrel and helped point it to the spot that would insure my death if only the guy would pull the trigger. He ran and left the gun which I gave away.
I kept sliding for over 20 years. The world no longer held anything for me. There was nothing but the consuming darkness, emptiness, and self hatred.
Then Tuesday, December 18th, 2001 arrived. I had been living along a wash on the outskirts of Las Vegas. I couldn't hold a job because I couldn't stand being around people for very long. Whenever I got hungry I would go to one of the "feed the homeless" ministries to get something to eat. That day in December was to be one of those ministries' Christmas service meal due to Christmas falling on a tuesday that year.
Some of the following events are hard for me to put into words that convey what I experienced that evening, please bear with me.
It was getting to be later than usual for the church group to arrive as about 100 others and I waited. Some of the ones close to me began to complain saying things like, "the food had better be good" or "they couldn't believe that a "Christian" would keep them standing out in the cold and that they had better get there soon". I am normally not confrontational, being that I didn't care enough about anyone to feel the need to confront them about anything, but something came over me and I began berrateing them about their attitudes. I found myself defending Christians and even Jesus, asking them how they felt that they deserved the sacrifices of those people who went out of their way to prepare a meal and spend time serving them. Or the sacrifice Jesus made to bring about a change in people's hearts that would bring them to do for others. I was so adamant that I ended up yelling my point (very, very unlike me). The people closest to me backed away, amazed at the thing that came out of my mouth.
Less than 10 minutes later the group arrived while I was still trying to understand what had just happened. They opened the gate to the field where they ministered to us and let us in. Everyone gathered in a circle ( a very large circle of about 250 people). Just as the minister began his sermon I experienced something that changed everything. first there came upon me what I can only describe as an enveloping wave of peace that dropped me to my knees. the feeling was so overpowering that tears flooded from my eyes. I heard a voice say "NOW I CAN USE YOU". I was oblivious to everything around me. I was told later that people were coming to my aid thinking I was in having some kind of sezure. What I remember of the rest of that evening is only the overwhelming sense of peace and happiness. I had no way to know it at the time but those were the results of Jesus calling me to His service.
My spirit felt then, as it has since, the urge, need, desire, what ever you might call it, to follow and serve the Love of my life, JESUS. He has shown me a Love that is unexplainable, a peace that is unshakeable, and a thirst for Him that is, so far anyway, unquenchable. HE is my Master, my LORD, and all that I love. Because of HIM I live, I find joy in life, my life is filled with a desire to be Home with Him. In the meantime I do as He desires, go where He directs, say the things He wants said to those He places in my path, and hear the things He wants me to hear and see the things He wants me to see.
May the Lord find in you that a heart that seeks first His desires for your life.
Your brother in Jesus, LeRoy ie: thefixer.
Posts: 71 | From: Yuma, Arizona | Registered: Aug 2011
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